Family, are you kept in the loop - Page 3

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

90% of his family especially cousins are on Facebook. I am not and don't intend to be. My DD is like me and wants no part of it. DS was at one point not sure about now. Before Facebook if there was an informal gathering planned the siblings called their children with day, time and who was hosting. No big deal, we aren't the Duggars with dozens to call. If I was on Facebook I would not want to hear about a death on it.

I do call and so does my DH. He stops to see a brother or 2 when he goes for the mail and one especially will come down to shoot the breeze with DH.

Skididdy · ‎11-05-2013

I am REALLY over it. My husbands side takes takes takes. They have selective things they tell us and thats it. I used to get so upset over it. Takers will always be takers.

They are mums the word on certain things. I could care less to be honest.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

Towards the end of my brothers life, the relationship I had with his wife (they were separated and never divorced) turned toxic because he asked me to handle his affairs. She was p*$$ed, she felt because she was still married to him it should have been her. I know why he did what he did, he knew I would make sure his wishes were followed and his adult kids were taken care - she would not have done it and would have kept it all for herself.

Anyway - after he passed I found out on FB that one of his kids was sick and in the hospital.

I said something to her about it and that if she didn't feel like telling me the least she could have done was to call my sister and let her know. I then said to her that just because brother died, it didn't mean the blood line I had with his kids died along with him.

She told me she really didn't appreciate my attitude - and that was the last time I spoke with her almost 8 years ago.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

Of course, communication IS a two-way street, but assuming that's always the issue when 'news' is not shared is an over-simplification and, in some instances here, is seeming a bit judgmental...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

We don't always hear everything about every family member. We do have a niece whose life is a total disaster. She was pregnant when she got married. Then had 3 more kids with this guy who they "said" was abusing her (I don't believe that as I never saw any signs of it and I think they were making excuses for her bad behavior). We were not told she was pregnant before the wedding or with each kid after that. Then she was fooling around with another guy (he got kicked out of his church). She got divorced and married this other guy (who got divorced for her) and subsequently had 3 more kids with him. Again, we were never told of her pregnancies. I think my husband's sister was embarrassed. Her new husband had 2 kids. So that is nine total kids and I hear at one point they were going on welfare. Her new husband had employment issues. There have been constant and ongoing legal battles between her and her first husband and their 4 kids. To make matters worse, she is a horrible mother. At family get togethers, her kids run wild and she lets everyone else mind them and pick up after them. She does absolutely nothing. My sister in law has helped to raise them and is the go between, between her daughter and the ex husband. There is more to it, but you get the idea. It is a nightmare.

The other kids in that family and all the cousins, including my kdis, are all fine and doing well. This neice has set an example of what "not" to do. I guess there is "one" in every family, somewhere.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Yes, the females in the family tell me what I need to know or I can go on Face book and see what's up with my nieces. My son and nephews could work for the CIA for all we know, they don't say nothin about nothin. LOL

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

We pretty much operate on a need to know basis, and even then I'm usually the one who plays it very close to the vest. It saves me from having to listen to constant criticism and complaints.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

My brothers and I share our news well, but often keep it restricted to our immediate family.

My husbands family is a different story. The last 5 months have been very hectic for us with his health issues, and it was keeping me busy updating his siblings. I now do what works best for me, and make them consult each other for the updates.

bootsanne · ‎01-21-2011

@NicksmomESQ So agree about being in the loop when it's time to shell out for a gift, otherwise no communication can go for years. And @Laura14 I remember what you went through recently.

My last surviving sister just passed away a few days ago from Alzheimer's. My brother and I are the only 2 left from my family. My sister was 20 years older than me, had lived out of town or state for 65 years. We were not terribly close but my brother was closer as they grew up together and he and his wife visited her many times in Florida. I saw her more these past 10 years than during our earlier life. During this horrible illness, her daughter who lives just 40 miles from us , never gave us one word of her condition, what nursing home she was in, nothing. She didn't see her mother in 2 years and hadn't tried talking to her in months. Her sister who lived with her mother was the only one who let us know what was going on. But my niece did post on FB, which I do not belong, to let her friends know what a loving daughter she was. She kept in constant contact with her cousin, another niece who I adore, but just not me or her uncle.

I guess to sum up, I feel terribly out of the loop with the last few remaining members of my family. I talk to my SIL daily and her family is the same. And I won't even go there with my husband's family. I guess we're not alone.

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

Thanks for sharing your stories. Glad to know it's not an unusual problem. DH and I were discussing this over coffee earlier. I told him I would never cut out his siblings regarding his health. I joked, however, that when I go don't tell anyone. I don't want an obituary, so when they ask some day where I am, then inform them of my demise. He laughed all the while he was telling me I'm not funny.