Community Chat

[hckynutjohn]

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@LavernLuvsShoes wrote:

For those who are just curious, doing an Ancestry search is a lark or a hobby, but...

For those who were adopted out or even worse, simply abandoned, it means the world.

It means finally having a sense of identity, feeling a connection with other blood relatives, and not just a product of someone's  "awful mistake"

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"Ask me how I know".

@LavernLuvsShoes 

How do you know?

hckynut(john)🥅🏒 🇺🇸

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[LavernLuvsShoes]

I was abandoned at birth, but found my "Birth Mother" at the age of 33...

Not thru any DNA kits, but by way of my determined and intuitive amateur detective work (LOL)

And, FYI: It did turn out to be a "Hallmark Movie"

However, I did submit my DNA in hopes of connecting with my unknown Father's side - No definite hits yet, so time will tell. 

[Trailrun23]

You can find all kinds of personal info about almost anyone for free on the internet...easy. So many people actually post their own personal info on social media....open to anyone to see, even if you are on FB and use privacy settings...people can work their way around those. We all know not to give out our SS# and other personal info if someone calls asking for it...same goes for anyone calling and trying to get relative's info. I guess you can't be too careful.

[Stray]

I had a friend who discovered she had a sister that her mother put up for adoption. The woman (sister) wanted to meet her biological mother but my friends mother refused. It seems the sister did not have a happy childhood & was under the care of a psychiatrist. The rejection the second time by her mother really hit her hard. Things were tense between my friend and her mother & she urged her mom to meet her sister & to no avail. Her mother has since past but she gets angry phone calls from the woman to this day. She has had hang ups of late & damage to her property & believes it is her new found sister. They’ve increased security.

[ninjawife]

I would love to know what happened to my paternal grandmother's first husband.  He disappeared sometime after 1930.  I am not sure exactly when he disappeared but it was well before my grandmother got pregnant with my father in 1937 by another man, which later became her second husband (a family scandal),.  There are theories on why he disappeared and some are sinister.  

I have quite a few secrets on both sides of my family.  Some I know about and some I don't.  It may interesting to learn more but I don't know if I want to put myself out there into cyberspace. 

[Stormygirl]

I found all of my siblings through ancestry and also some horrible things. All 11 of us were given up and fostered. My brother was killed by his foster Mum at 21 months old. 3 of my siblings committed suicide as when the checks stopped when fosters age out ….out to the streets you go. Also found an aunt who has my Dads ashes (never met my Dad) and wanted to give them to me. Ummm no thanks would dump him in the fire pit lol. No hallmark moments for any of us damaged by the choices of others.

[DrakesMomma]

Found out that my "sister" really is my sister.  That was disappointing.  

[781Florist]

@Stormygirl   God bless you.  I hope you are well and life is kinder to you now.

[Irmasdc]

I have one of those, you can't make this g%£# up stories due to 23&Me. I'm 59 now but when I was very young I got pregnant & my mother sent me to an "unwed mothers home" & due to my age she got an attny and placed my son for adoption. It's been the greatest sadness of my life. I tried for yrs to get info but couldn't due to all info being on paper, a flood in 97 & them losing everything. All I had was a record of birth that a rep in pt accounts gave me bc I was a crying mess. I just wanted proof of him. 2yrs ago my mother was diagnosed with dementia. Actually her & 3 of her siblings so myself and many cousins were now caretakers. We decided to do 23&Me for the Alzheimer's genetic testing. I received my results along with a pic of a young woman who is listed as my granddaughter. I only have grandsons, 7 of them w/ 3 adult sons I went on to have later in life. I instantly knew who she was the daughter of. I msgd her saying I noticed the dna connection and I'll never intrude in her life but that I'm VERY happy to know this. I immediately got a msg back that they've been looking for me for 25yrs and how happy they are. Then, she also told me her dad lives in the same town that I live in. It's a town of only 3k people 😳 I was given his number and he was given mine. Later that day he called me and he wanted to come over asap. I said absolutely! He arrived looking just like my other boys, I cried and my heart was bursting. We made plans for the weekend, I was cooking and he was bringing his daughters who are 9yr twins. Due to my mom's dementia she was found wandering so I had to rush there to deal with this but left him a vm of a needed time change. He wasn't happy about that. He called me saying things I guess he needed to say, told me I'm a stranger to him, his kids are off limits to me and he wants no contact. I said I appreciate his honesty and ill respect his decision. I hung up broken. He then called me back wanting me to tell him that he hurt me. He kept saying but I hurt you didn't I. I ended the call & there's been no more contact. 

my mother doesn't remember him & I do not carry the variants tested for Alzheimer's 

[pigletsmom]

@Irmasdc ugh sorry about that mess since he was looking for you although I'd hope he wasn't looking to be a jerk.

Personally I would never do these tests as an adopted kid. I really have zero desire to find out anything. I'm grateful I was given up for adoption and not something else but a stranger isn't family to me. And I certainly wouldn't need any drama that might follow.