Community Chat

[Tinkrbl44]

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@rms1954 wrote:

I don't believe in those; my sister did one without telling the rest of our siblings.  I feel it is an invasion of my privacy.  

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@rms1954 

Well, there are secrets  ....   and then there is unknown information.  Information that could be very valuable.

I would think knowing about hereditary diseases can be very helpful for managing one's long term health, in spite of it seeming like an "invasion of privacy".  

[BlueFinch]

I've never done the research. I learned a long time ago not to poke bears. What I do know, is colorful enough, for me.

I do have a couple of friends and one neighbor who learned they have more members in their family than they realized. As in, someone had affairs. These folks found the information very upsetting. 

I can see some valuable information surfacing in this type of research, but there's a risk, too. When things go south, it rarely turns out like a Hallmark movie. 

[Puppy Lips]

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@Laura14 wrote:

I warned my mother before I did 23and Me. I told her to spill any secrets now or I would see her on Judge Judy for damages. I got back a text of Darth Vadar claiming he was my father.

The only interesting thing that came up is supposedly I have a Irish cousin that my great grandfather fathered. Not possible since we are all Italian. Either he had a great time on St. Patrick's Day, which was not done back in the day especially by Italians, or the geneology isn't as precise as it could be.

I know they have a cousin I do know listed as my first cousin because we share so much DNA. We are actually second. It's a work in progress. Think what they'll accomplish after all of us are gone. I'm sure they'll be reconstructing exactly what we looked like for any future relatives to come along with a link to all of our archived social media posts.   

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That's kind of a scary thought.  That's one of the reasons why I do very little on facebook.

[Puppy Lips]

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@Carmie wrote:

No, I don't think we have any surprises or secrets in our family.

I know that my maternal grandfather's brother took off and was never seen or heard from again when his family did not approve of women he wanted to marry.  I wonder if he started a life elsewhere or maybe committed suicide.  It's a mystery.

i had a friend who was old enough to be my mother.  She had a twin sister who had an affair with a man in her neighborhood and he fathered a son with her.  She also had five children with her husband.

This has been a secret for years. No one alive knows except for me.  My friend and her twin have since passed away.  My friend asked me to not tell anyone, unless it would be a emergency situation.

I worry that this secret will be found out through DNA and devastate this man.  He looks so different than his siblings, I would not be surprised if the family doesn't suspect something is off here.

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@Carmie I would feel burdened by having kept that secret all these years.  Does it bother you?

[RedTop]

EVERYTHING about my maternal great grandparents was a secret!  I don't view them as good people, based on what I've learned thru the years.   

My grandmother died at the age of 98 without ever telling anyone the family secrets.  Between what I remembered from the whispers, and what supportive info I found online, a timeline of my great grandparents lives in particular states/areas, birth records for their children, helped me see part of their story on paper.  Things began to make sense but did not make for a nice family history.  

Great grandpa inherited the business he worked in when he was in his 50's.  In my early 20's, I talked with the person who had  inherited from GG and still ran that business; he said nice things about GG, which was good to hear, considering the negative feelings I had formed about the man and still hold onto to this day.  

My grandmother and her siblings were good people; I loved the great aunts and uncles and am glad they were a part of my life.  I was blessed to spend time with my great great aunt (great grandmothers sister). I truly adored her, but she seemed to be the complete opposite of her sister.   I have no pride whatsoever with that set of great grandparents.  

[drizzellla]

Recently I got a few phone calls from a man that does research and tries to connect people looking for people from their past. The man knew my parents names and my parent's children's names.

He was looking for one of my brothers. I relayed the information to my brothers and left it at that.

Then I got a letter from someone in Switzerland. She stated the same things. She knew my parents names and their children's names. She also was looking for one of my brothers. 

I never took a DNA test. I doubt my parents did either. They died awhile ago before DNA tests became popular. And why are they trying to get information from me? If one of my brothers took a DNA test wouldn't they have their information?

I don't understand how I am figuring into the mix.

[Blueridge Liz]

DH and I are  fascinated with genealogy. No problem submitting our DNA. My father was very interested in his family history. I wish he was living so I could share all the things I have learned since his death. 
We were able to discover a genetic disease in the family which will save lives.

We have learned our ancestors were very interesting. 

[SharkE]

I'd figure they're looking for money. I don't know and don't care who my  past kin folk is. Had enough trouble with the ones I do know. My in-laws were enough to

contend with. I outlived all of them.  

[Carmie]

@Puppy Lips   No, it doesn't bother me at all.  My friend told me this after her twin passed.

As for as I know, the secret is safe.

I often think the family suspects something.  The guy in question is tall...well over 6 ft and extremely handsome.  His siblings are short, heavy and averge looking.  He stands out next to them.

My friend told me he looks like his biological father whom I have never met and who has since passed.

[hckynutjohn]

@QVCkitty1 

Nope, never been surprised because I have never taken one. All I want to know is what i remember from my childhood up to the present.

My sperm donor was a drunk that chose booze over his 4 kids, then hit the road. My maternal grandparents were well to do, but disowned my mother when she married that drunk.

Even after he left and I was born in the Public Housing Projects, did they care?  Nope, not 1 visit from either, all the years we lived there(till I was 14). She did allow me to visit her apartment 1 or 2 times, but!  "Don't sit here/don't touch that, and whatever you do, do not make any noise".

Extent of all I want to know of my ancestry. A drunk and wealthy grandparents that couldn't give a **** less about her living relatives, not even her own daughter.

hckynut 🇺🇸