Family Heirlooms That Our Children Don't Want - Page 3

DiAnne · ‎09-22-2010

Mid Century Modern seems to be the preferred style currently (at least where I live). I personally don't care for it. I have several antiques that belonged to my family that I mix with my furniture. I also like carpet and hate leather covered furniture so I really don't fit in! No granite or stainless steel appliances either.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

@drizzellla - Oh, this is so poignant!

I have so many family heirlooms. DH has a large family, but I'm the only one left in my family. Even my cousins died at a young age. My brother died at 28. I have possessions/treasures from grandparents and great-grandparents. Even though I never knew my great-grandparents I heard the stories. Everything I was blessed to inherit has a story and is special to me.

My children are not "settled" yet. One is on the other side of the country. Maybe I don't have to think about it for a while. I'll be Scarlett- "I won't think about that now. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

My dad was born in 1927, and was not sentimental about items.

when my mom passed in 2000, a week later, he was ready to clean out her stuff. He had been her cargiver, and was ready to move forward.

I will never forget what my dad told me. He said, "It's just stuff. It's the memories that you take with you and you keep."

He was right.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

RollTide2008 · ‎02-14-2017

My mother has a rocking chair in her attic. I would have liked to have had it when I had babies, but she was saving it. Now that I’m on the cusp of being an empty nester, she’s put upon because I don’t want it. I don’t need it now. I have my own stuff now. I needed it 20 years ago.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

@RollTide2008 wrote:
My mother has a rocking chair in her attic. I would have liked to have had it when I had babies, but she was saving it. Now that I’m on the cusp of being an empty nester, she’s put upon because I don’t want it. I don’t need it now. I have my own stuff now. I needed it 20 years ago.

My mom is the same way. When I was younger and could of used all the stuff she never used, now that I am downsizing and have no need for a lot of my own stuff let alone hers , it's an issue for her. Go figure.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

tucsongal · ‎03-10-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
I put off thinking about where all my stuff will go. No family at all.

Gives me a headache....put it off for another day....

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I envision things being enjoyed by others, as with the vintage things I’ve purchased and enjoyed without knowing their history. I like the idea of someone using my parents’ Fiestaware or Tohono O’odham baskets after I’m gone.

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

Nothing I have saved and valued over the years, many that goes back two generations do they want. And I have four daughters. I will just have to dump it or have it auctioned off of whatever. Sad. And when I asked and offered one response was, "MOM DO YOU KNOW WHAT A TRASH CAN IS." Antiques, china, crystal, pictures, furniture of all kind.

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

Nice article. I like the care with which it was written.

I think that if you want younger family members to appreciate certain items, it's probably best to use the items regularly and tell the stories about them often.

If you store a sofa away in the basement or keep the plates with the birds in the attic, that doesn't communicate that you value these objects enough to use them yourself. If you wouldn't use them, why expect someone else to jump at the chance? They probably don't want to use them for the same reason you don't.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

It's difficult to give away someone else's items. A dear friend passed 18 months ago and thank goodness several friends helped because she had not only her stuff, but all her parents' stuff that she couldn't part with years ago.

After all is said and done, I still have her old family's photo albums left .... no other siblings or relatives at all.

What do you do with a family's photo albums when the whole family is gone? Any ideas? I just can't toss them in the trash.

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

Very timely, for me. My Mom just sent me a box of things she's collected over the years, in her travels and through associations with friends, and even something my grandmother made for her. Three absolutely pristine Lladro figures (I love these) and lots of other bric a brac.

She wrote a note with each one to explain it's origin, and they all travelled across the US about 2500 miles because some very nice person at the UPS store made sure everything was bubble wrapped x 3, double boxed with bubble wrap in between, and marked FRAGILE on every side of the box. I think it was the only time I haven't heard a loud "thump" on the porch when the UPS man delivers.

I was really touched, and though I don't really "need" any of them, I immediately added them to existing collections and created a few new ones, and my Mom was so happy I could enjoy them. If it means I edit out some of my less meaningful things, so be it. She's not able to move very well anymore, so for her to make this effort is tremndously touching.

Yes, it's just "stuff", but it's stuff I'll treasure while I can and then, frankly, I don't care what happens. None if it's getting packed away - I will have it where I can see it and integrate it into my decor. Honestly, some of the very spare rooms I see in photos and on TV leave me a little cold. Yes, sharing those spaces with friends and having "experiences" are meaningful, but what about when I am alone? I like having them around me as I ponder life!

Cogito ergo sum