1. Q: Where should you go in a room if you're feeling cold?
A: The corner - they're usually 90 degrees.
2. A 3 year old boy sits near a pregnant woman
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Woman: Yes. It is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?
3. Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side."
4. Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.
5. Don't break anybody's heart; they only have one. Break their bones; they have 206.
6. A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: Np, he doesn't
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son, how old
is he?
A: He will be 6 months next Wednesday.
7. Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the oceans bottom.
8. Why is it that your nose runs but your feet smell?
9. A woman taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up she told her husband, "Just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace, what do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, "The Meaning Of Dreams."
10. Mahatma Gandi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
11. Q: What do clouds do when they become rich?
A: They make it rain.
12. Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m"
13. A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children? The father answers, "Well son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes up the following morning the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister's name is Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask Bear Poop?
14. At the doctors office, Tom was getting a check up. I have good news and bad news says the doctor, "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?" Then the doctor says, "the bad news is, I should have told you yesterday."
15. Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."
16. Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it's pointless.
17. Q: Why did the old lady put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.
18. Brunet: "Where were you born?"
Blond: "California.
Brunet: "What part?"
Blond: "All of me."
19. If number two pencils are so popular, why are they still number two?
20. Late one night a preacher was driving on a country road and he had a wreck. A farmer stopped and said, "Sir are you okay?" The preacher said, "Yes, I had the Lord riding with me." The farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me, because you're gonna kill him."
To Be Continued
Clean Funny Jokes For Adults
The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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