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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,535
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

[ Edited ]

1.   Dear face wash commercial, people don't actually splash their face with water like that.  Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet!!!

 

2.   A golf ball is a golf ball no matter how you putt it.

 

3.   What do you call sad coffee?  Despresso.

 

4.   What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?  "Put it on my bill."

 

5.   What never asks questions but receives lots of answers?  The telephone.

 

6.   Teacher:  "Which book has helped you the most in your                           life?"

      Student:  "My father's checkbook."

 

7.   Math Teacher:  "If I have 5 bottles in one hand

                                 and 6 in the other, what

                                do I have?

      Student:           "A drinking problem."

 

8.   1. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

      2. Professional Courtesy.

 

9.   Why did the car crusher quit his job?  Because it was 

      soda pressing.

 

10.   How is Christmas like your job?  You do all the work and the fat guy gets all the credit.

 

11.   Q:  Did you hear about the painter who was                                   hospitalized?

       A:  Reports say it was due to too many strokes.

 

12.   Q:  Why did the robber take a bath?

       A:   He wanted to make a clean getaway.

 

13.   Q:  What do you call a frozen dog?

       A:   A pupsicle.

 

                             To Be Continued

                               Best Life

                              Smarter Living

 

 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,059
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

My favorite is #3.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,722
Registered: ‎08-10-2013

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

When I was in school probably #7 would have been an answer one of the guys would have said.  That was 1963.

Super Contributor
Posts: 321
Registered: ‎09-18-2019

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

@Lindsays Grandma 

 

LOL!! These are great 👍!!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,743
Registered: ‎12-17-2011

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

#4, 6, 7 and 10. Thanks 😊 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,891
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma  🤣🤣 This corny collection made me beam with delight, but number 7 has me cracking up, AND down!!😂😂😂

 

 

~~~All we nee is LOVE💖

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,535
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: FUNNY JOKES SO THEY SAID


@SandySparkles wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma  🤣🤣 This corny collection made me beam with delight, but number 7 has me cracking up, AND down!!😂😂😂

 

 

~~~All we nee is LOVE💖


@SandySparkles ...I like that one too, can you just picture it???  Woman Surprised

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam