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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,464
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

FUNNY JOKES CONTINUED

[ Edited ]

21.   Innkeeper:  The room is $15 a night. 

                           It's $5 if you make your own bed.

       Guest:         "I'll make my own bed."

       Innkeeper:  "Good; "I'll get you some nails and wood."

 

22.    A lot of people cry when they cut an onion.  T

         he trick is not to get an emotional bond.

 

23.   Q:  Who cares if your guest pees in the shower

        A:  "The bride and all her guests, apparently."

 

24.   Son:  "Dad, when will I be old enough so I 

                  have to   to ask mom for permission?"

        Dad:  "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out                       without her permission."

 

25.   A man called  his child's doctor, "Hello!"  My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it.  What should I do?"  The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

 

26.   A Pickpocket was in court for a series of petty

crimes.  The judge said, "Sir, you are hereby fined $100."  The lawyer stood up and said, "Your Honor, my client

has only $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow

him a few moments in the crowd...

 

27.   Q:  What's red and bad for your teeth?

        A:  A brick.

 

28.   Student:  " Should I get in trouble for something I                                   didn't do?

         Teacher:   "No"

         Student:  "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

 

29.   What can you give and keep at the same time?

        A cold!

 

30:   Q:  Why did the painting go to jail?

        A:  Because it was framed.

 

31.   Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today.  Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout

                           "Hi Jack."

 

32.   Fred:  "Why do elephants wear red nail polish?"

        Bob:    "I don't know, why?"

        Fred:  "To hide in cherry trees."

        Bob:  "But I've never seen an elephant in a cherry                            tree."

        Fred:  "See, it works."

 

33.   Knock knock!

       Whose there?

        Ach

        Ach who?

        Bless you!  Need a tissue?

 

34.   Q:  If a plane crashes on the Canada/USA border,

              where would the survivors be buried?

        A:  You don't bury survivors.

 

35.    Q:  What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?

         A:  Firetruck   

 

                            To Be Continued

                    Short Funny Jokes For Adults

 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,930
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Great Monday morning laughs. Thanks @Lindsays Grandma  🙏❤️☕️

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,777
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: FUNNY JOKES CONTINUED

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma  These corny funnies tickled my  funny bone, but number 26, has me in stitches!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖