23. Never interrupt your enemy when he seems to be making mistakes. Napoleon Bonaparte
24. A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, "voyeur" was the actual word she used.
Gary Delany
25. Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Bill Sunday
26. A bargain is something you don't need at a price you cannot afford. Unknown
27. I didn't give you the finger, you earned it.
Bill Murray
28. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. Czech Proverb
29. He who laughs last....lasts. Emma Bombeck
30. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
31. "So, Mr Tweedy, do you sleep by an open window, like I recommended?" A doctor checks with his patient. "I do, doc, just like you told me!" "And those coughs, have they disappeared now?" "Not really, no. So far the only things to disappear were my cellphone and wallet."
32. Peter confronts his friend at work, "Paul, did you yell at my wife, slap my kids about and kick my cat when you came to pick up the folder yesterday"? Paul stammers, "But...your wife said I should make myself at home."
33. A girl yells at her boyfriend, "That's it Henry, we're through." "What?" "You want to break up? "Why?"
"I'm sick of you constantly laughing at my weight." To which Henry replies, "Oh darling, please don't be like that! Come here, grab those two chairs for yourself, let's sit down and talk it out."
34. So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance, my name, address and telephone number.
35. What is grey and can't fly?
A fat pigeon.
36. Knock Knock.
Whose there?
The love of your life.
Liar! Chocolate can't speak!!
37. Why don't cannibal's eat divorced women?
Because they're bitter.
38. My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
39. What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with bits of cardboard?
A pillow fight.
40. It's so frustrating to k now how fake someone is, yet everyone loves them because they put on a good show.
Daddy & Mummy Quotes
THE END
The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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