Community Chat

[bikerbabe]

I guess I find the hostility on this thread pretty sad and depressing, as if fellow church members are the enemy to be avoided at all cost. 😢 Even if you don’t want to shake someone’s hand for whatever reason, I get that, but what’s wrong with acknowledging your fellow man and wishing them peace? Have we lost sight of why we go to church?

[gidgetgh]

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@grandma r wrote:

I don't think it's necessary either.  I will acknowledge those around me with "peace be with you" as we were instructed to say.  Some take it further with hugs, handshakes, or kisses.  No thank you!!!  In fact, during the winter months this part is skipped.

I still remember attending Mass when everything was in Latin.  It seems to me there was more reverence then too.  Changes to the translations of various parts of the Mass don't really make sense to me.

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@grandma r - if someone I don’t know kisses me in church, out of the blue, it had better be George Clooney.  

[alicedee]

First....let me go on record that I love peace!  However, I don’t care for the Sign of Peace at Mass....as others have said, it seems a stark interruption.  If they must do it, the beginning of Mass would seem a better spot.

Though I don’t care for it, I shake the hands of those around me....I figure the Mass is not about me, so I just do it.  I am careful to be very gentle with older people’s hands, and if someone has been doing gross things with their fingers during Mass I suddenly have to sit down and start searching for something in my purse until they move on to their next victim lol!

[gidgetgh]

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@Oznell wrote:

It is so interesting to hear how this is handled in different places.

I think in Protestant churches there is kind of a wide variation in how it is done.  In ours, near the beginning of the service (well before the sermon) we are invited to get up and "greet our neighbors".  Everyone walks around and just shakes hands, with people you do know, and people you don't know.  I usually sort of wander up the aisle toward the front of the church, shaking hands as I go.  The whole thing is very brief, maybe a few minutes, then everyone goes back to pews for singing.

Now, I've always hated this sort of thing, thinking oh boy, it was extraverts who came up with this!  But, I've come to think it's good for me, and good for lots of others, to be smiled at and greeted pleasantly.  It's nice fellowship, and newcomers can feel more welcome.  That's extremely important.  There can be no "cliques".

Never thought I'd be saying this!  But I've seen it work. You get to know more people, and to "cohere" more as a group.  I even don't mind when occasionally some dear, well-meaning people hug me!

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@Oznell - a few MINUTES???  Walking up and down aisles?  Nope, not me. I’d be outta there. 

[sunshine45]

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@bikerbabe wrote:
I DO like it. I sometimes feel like if we took it more seriously maybe we would actually treat each other better after we walked out the door of the church and back into our every day lives.

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i like it also @bikerbabe .

i have not seen it "get out of hand."

mostly people just shake hands with people on their left and right. if they dont want to shake, they dont extend their hand. pretty simple.

[gidgetgh]

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@golding76 wrote:

As an outsider looking in, I have to say that I have reacted positively to the "Peace Be with You" moment in the Catholic church where I worship on occasion.  As you may have previously read here, I am a Greek Orthodox Christian, and we do not have such a moment during our Liturgy (i.e., Mass). 

Oh yeah, I've sometimes been squirmy about shaking the hand of my pew or across-the-pew neighbor, but I find it refreshingly warm and loving act. It had me wondering why we do not practice this in our church, which follows so many of the ancient rituals.  

We have our own practice, however, that outsiders find cringe-worthy: We drink from the same Holy Communion cup.  Yes, the same spoon goes into the wine-with-a-bit-of-bread mixture and comes to each mouth.  Same spoon for 700 people when church is full.  I try not to think too hard on this... There typically are two priests offering Holy Communion, so one spoon for 350 people.

There are moments when I've followed a gaggle of children and become ill the following week, but that happens rarely.  We do receive our own individual piece of bread that has been blessed, though.

Also, we kiss the same icons.  That practice I have had to stop because I was becoming too ill too often.  I just place my forehead on the icons.

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@golding76 - we’ve discussed this one on here before.  There is no way I’m drinking from the same cup or spoon as 350 other people.  That literally makes me sick to my stomach.

[hckynut]

@occasionalrain 

Been many decades since I attended any church, excluding weddings and a whole lot more funerals. My family was never the "hugger type" and that includes me to this day. My wife? Sure! Associates or friends? No!  Think that pretty much spells out my feelings on this topic.

I love carrying on conversations, yes with strangers I meet quite often. The topics are not close to either religion or politics, just about the things we might have in common, say like a hockey game or ice skating.

Had this been happening when I was a regular church goer, it would have expedited my departure from the church.

hckynut

[Annabellethecat66]

I'm with many of you.  I don't like being touched by strangers.  The minute I get in my car (from anywhere) I use hand sanitizer.

I have 'issues' with my blood where I don't have a lot of immunity.  Touching strangers (hand to hand) doesn't sit well with me.

As far as the saying 'Peace be with you' is so automatic, it looses what it was supposed to mean.

I recently heard a discussion of 'Sorry for your loss".  As a widow, that phrase drives me crazy.

The person didn't know my husband, doesn't know me and he could have been a terrible person (which he wasn't).  

The point?  Well, it's like so many things these days, "It's automatic and has very little meaning."  I realize it's difficult to know what to say.  Maybe just, "Sorry" or something like that...

When anything is done or said automatically, it looses it's meaning...that's what I'm finally trying to say (and not very well I suspect).  Sorry.

[sandy53]

This is the only time in the entire week that some people are touched by another person. A gracious handshake and the words of peace are a way to show our Christian love to others.  If you do not care to touch, just give a smile and say the words of peace.  Hug your hymnal.  Don't make it a huge deal.  Act like you care for others and you actually might feel caring.  Make it about others, not yourself. 

We are sometimes instructed to "fist bump" during flu season.  I hope this doesn't keep someone from attending church.  There are certainly more reasons to attend rather than using this one thing to keep you from the worship experience.

[Trinity11]

The last Catholic service I attended we shook hands with family and a few parishioners. It is part of the Mass and I have absolutely no issues with it. If it bothered me, I would watch the Mass on television.

When flu season came around our parish priest suggested verbally saying “Peace be with you.” Everyone seemed to comply and there was no hand shaking.