Community Chat

[mamaslittlepotato]

Our church gets it over with in the beginning of the service, first thing. I notice most of the people just verbally greet each other, including myself. I’m not a hugger unless it’s close family or someone I know well and care for very much. Even if it’s innocent, I don’t want just anybody touching me or rubbing up against me.....well, with the exception of Denzel Washington. There’s exceptions to every rule. Lol

[CalminHeart]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Some time ago the Exchange of Peace was changed from a general verbal response to a physical one where parishioners either hugged or would shake hands with those sitting beside, in front, and in back of them.

I don't care for the change.

I have to think there are some who avoid services because of it. Some may have arthritis in their hands, are concerned about illness, or just, like me, dislike the break in the flow. It seems like an intermission to some who then have a bit of chat with their neighbors. In my church, it's evolved from just exchanges with those close by to spilling out into the aisle and a general exchange all around.

As far as I know, it wasn't voted upon by individual parishes. It wasn't in mine. 

What your thoughts, do you like it? Do you think it adds or detracts?

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If I have a cold or my arthritis acts up, I just keep put my hands flat on my waist and wish others peace.  I sometimes will say I have a cold and people smile and we wish each other peace.  My SIL is struggling with cancer and doesn't touch others since her immune system is shot right now.  No one has ever misunderstood or been upset.

In my religion, this is not up for a vote.  It's a symbol of reconciliation with community and is the same as Jesus did when appearing to his community of apostles after he rose.  The sign of peace comes after the Our Father in which we ask for the same forgiveness that we give to others.  The sign of peace is a symbol of our forgiveness of others and our unity with community -- reaching out to the community is a key piece of being faithful in my religion.  

[golding76]

Two things:

1.  In my Greek Orthodox Church, we hug and "European kiss" (a peck on each cheek) so often when entering, being seated, exiting the church and at the social coffee in the activity center next door that we do not have an urgent need for the Peace Exchange.  But it is a nice act when seated next to someone you do not know.  In general, I like the good wishes and handshake in the Catholic service.

Many of us Orthodox Christians also wish one another a good week ahead or, depending on the holy period we are in, a good Lent or a good Easter, etc. 

It should go without saying that we hug and kiss those whom we know to some degree and not those we are not somewhat close to, but it does not necessarily mean we know them in a "best friend" sort of way.  We know them and have spoken with them many times and like them.  That's it.   

2.  When I have been in the midst of the Peace Exchange at the local Catholic church where I sometimes worship, I have had an adult male refuse to shake my hand (and that of others).  He made it clear that he did not wish to do that.  I understood.  One time I cut my right hand when opening my umbrella going from the parking lot to the church, and since I had had blood on my hand, I told those near me that I would not be shaking their hand because I had a cut.  They understood with ease.

[Free2be]

The responses in this thread indicate that most people are uncomfortable with this practice. Nice for those who enjoy it. There's time later to actually engage with someone in a meaningful way, if that goal is in the heart.

Genunine socialization cannot be coerced. If it is done because it is time to do it, it is  performance and it can feel good in the moment or not. Some feelings will have to be negated.

[CalminHeart]

People who don't like the Sign of Peace probably don't fully realize the meaning behind it.  It's not a matter of socialization or kindness.  But I've never seen anyone care if someone doesn't want to do it.  People can wish others peace without touching or just decline the whole thing.  It's their life and soul.

[cherry]

It certainly is not a sin, to not shake hands with anyone. It is a personal preference..If that is the worst thing anyone ever did , they would be  living an exemplary life

[Cadjia]

And between their patients, doctors use hand sanitizer, to prevent the spread of germs.

[occasionalrain]

While you can decline to shake hands, it call attention to you as mentioned up thread about the men who had chosen not to participate. Most want to avoid that. 

When a person remains in the pew rather than partaking of Communion, people notice, perhaps speculate.

No one is faulting the wishing of peace just the change from the general where the celebrant says, "Peace be with you", and the congregation responds, "and also with you" to the disruptive hand shaking/hugging.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

People who don't like the Sign of Peace probably don't fully realize the meaning behind it.  It's not a matter of socialization or kindness.  But I've never seen anyone care if someone doesn't want to do it.  People can wish others peace without touching or just decline the whole thing.  It's their life and soul.

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A simple smile, eye contact and wishing someone peace, with no physical contact, can make a persons day.  Shame people would rather get rid of a practice instead of altering it to something they are comfortable doing.

[cherry]

We are not instructed to shake hands. They simply say, offer each other  a sign of peace. So, it is up to each  person how to  do that. A smile and a greeting works for me...