Community Chat

[topazzz]

Question that I've been pondering:

Twenty years ago I walked away from the love of my life to marry someone I liked a lot who had money (and a more lucrative career). I have always known I'd regret it and I recently ran into the ex (we dated for five years) and we had a nice chance run-in. I even got a hug from him. So I wrote a short note to him and heard nothing. I called and left a msg and nothing, so I called his best friend who talked to him and I got a short email stating that he's happily married w/kids. Nothing personal at all.

I had a lot of loose ends and regrets - I wrote a long letter detailing it all and asking him to meet up for lunch (nothing stressful or weird to it) and suggested he and his wife come up and we could bbq and just have the spouses get to know one another too. He refused this too. Twenty years ago he wanted to marry me - then I walked away. We spoke ten yrs ago and 15 yrs ago and it went well. But now, he refuses to talk to me at all.

Is this normal? Why did I get a hug two months ago but a complete refusal to talk? I think it's strange because if I care so much about someone, I will certainly talk with them at all costs.

Anyone have thoughts on this? I just feel like I need to talk to him (not to re-live it all) and find out about life in general. Is that so bad? Are my expectations too lofty?

Didn't know where else to go with this as I really don't want to discuss it with co-workers. Thanks!