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02-05-2019 10:25 AM
My mom and I are invited to an engagement party. I'm sure there will be a wedding shower and, of course, the wedding. Are gifts expected for all three occasions?
This is a cousin who I've not even seen in 15 years and will, most likely, never see again as she lives out of state. I feel obligated to go as my mom is really close to this person's grandmother (my mom's sister). I feel like it is a good idea to support the bride and my aunt (bride's grandmother). But I also feel like this could be a gift grab.
If it makes a difference, the bride and groom live together and are about 25 years old. First marriages for both.
What do you think?
02-05-2019 10:33 AM
I have never been to an engagement party.... my suggestion is you call the person giving the party and see what is expected. Enjoy the party. Sometimes going to a family party can be really fun!
02-05-2019 10:53 AM
In my opinion, no gift necessary.
02-05-2019 10:58 AM
I don't agree with the whole concept of an engagement party.
It's my personal opinion that, yes it is a gift grab. This isn't even your first cousin, she's a first cousin once removed. I wouldn't feel obligated to go.
02-05-2019 11:08 AM - edited 02-05-2019 11:10 AM
Engagement party? Get a nice. inexpensive gift, like a set of 8 stemless wine glasses.
I recently gave my DIL's sister and her fiance everyday flatware. She was thrilled- everything was new and matched! BTW they are also mid 20's, lived together and recently bought a home.
Check Macy's. They have sales all the time and gifts can be returned. You and Mom can get something for under $30.00. One gift from both of you is fine, IMO.
If you are going to the party it's better to show up gift in hand than not
02-05-2019 11:19 AM
I think a relative or friend inviting you to share an event is nice. We were invited to my cousin's engagement party (yes - followed by her bridal shower, then wedding) last year. They live around 4 states away, we don't see each other much anymore so was happy to attend everything and see them. We gave my cousin & her fiancée a check.
I have never heard the term "gift grab" until I read it here several years ago.
02-05-2019 11:20 AM
Amazingly, a friend of our gave a small surprise engagement party for DH and I. Got some very lovely cards.
I honestly think these parties are silly and can be seen as gift grabs.
I would give a beautiful card and no gift until the wedding. But hey that's just me!
02-05-2019 11:26 AM
I view an engagement party as a chance for two different families to meet and get to know each other.
The invite, IMO, should have said “no gifts please”
I would not bring a gift
02-05-2019 11:32 AM
My neice did this. Honestly, we are the only ones that live on the East Coast and never make any of these functions. However, I did think of it as another "gift grab". They usually have a shower/s and the wedding. I'm done with all of this "extra" stuff. I sent a card.
02-05-2019 11:37 AM
I don't really understand an engagement party but then I don't understand the big gender reveal parties either.
I've been to 2 engagement parties. Both were for the grown children of very good friends. Some people brought a card only, some nothing and some put money inside their card, which is what DH and I did. Neither of the couples expected gifts and were surprised. Both just wanted a nice little party because they were excited for their engagement.
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