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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,587
Registered: ‎09-22-2010

My mom and I are invited to an engagement party.  I'm sure there will be a wedding shower and, of course, the wedding.  Are gifts expected for all three occasions? 

 

This is a cousin who I've not even seen in 15 years and will, most likely, never see again as she lives out of state.  I feel obligated to go as my mom is really close to this person's grandmother (my mom's sister).  I feel like it is a good idea to support the bride and my aunt (bride's grandmother).  But I also feel like this could be a gift grab. 

 

If it makes a difference, the bride and groom live together and are about 25 years old.  First marriages for both. 

 

What do you think?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,468
Registered: ‎03-22-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

I have never been to an engagement party.... my suggestion is you call the person giving the party and see what is expected.  Enjoy the party.  Sometimes going to a family party can be really fun!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,588
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

In my opinion, no gift necessary.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,278
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

I don't agree with the whole concept of an engagement party.

 

It's my personal opinion that, yes it is a gift grab.  This isn't even your first cousin, she's a first cousin once removed.  I wouldn't feel obligated to go.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,902
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

[ Edited ]

Engagement party? Get a nice. inexpensive gift, like a set of 8 stemless wine glasses.

I recently gave my DIL's sister and her fiance everyday flatware. She was thrilled- everything was new and matched! BTW they are also mid 20's, lived together and recently bought a home.

 

Check Macy's. They have sales all the time and gifts can be returned. You and Mom can get something for under $30.00. One gift from both of you is fine, IMO.

If you are going to the party it's better to show up gift in hand than not

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,713
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

 I think a relative or friend inviting you to share an event is nice.  We were invited to my cousin's engagement party (yes - followed by her bridal shower, then wedding) last year.  They live around 4 states away, we don't see each other much anymore so was happy to attend everything and see them.  We gave my cousin & her fiancée a check.  

 

I have never heard the term "gift grab" until I read it here several years ago.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,481
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: Engagement party gift???

Amazingly, a friend of our gave a small surprise engagement party for DH and I. Got some very lovely cards.

 

I honestly think these parties are silly and can be seen as gift grabs.

 

I would give a beautiful card and no gift until the wedding. But hey that's just me!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,827
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

I view an engagement party as a chance for two different  families to meet and get to know each other. 

 

The invite, IMO, should have said “no gifts please”

 

I would not bring a gift 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,506
Registered: ‎03-20-2012

Re: Engagement party gift???

My neice did this. Honestly, we are the only ones that live on the East Coast and never make any of these functions. However, I did think of it as another "gift grab". They usually have a shower/s and the wedding. I'm done with all of this "extra" stuff. I sent a card.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Engagement party gift???

I don't really understand an engagement party but then I don't understand the big gender reveal parties either.

 

I've been to 2 engagement parties. Both were for the grown children of very good friends.  Some people brought a card only, some nothing and some put money inside their card, which is what DH and I did.  Neither of the couples expected gifts and were surprised.  Both just wanted a nice little party because they were excited for their engagement.