Community Chat

[Jill2dot0]

I find all this big fancy wedding stuff fascinating (I was married by a family friend, that was a minister) 30 years ago.  No honeymoon ... I guess our "earlymoon" was the pizza we ordered, we might have splurged on beer. 

I did roll my eyes at "de-stress and reconnect" ... "and just relax with no burden of kind of anything else weighing us down especially all the pre-wedding planning,”

Seems so self indulgent ... nobody cares if an engaged couple goes away, or on vacation ... why does it need a goofy title??  Sometimes I wonder if this sort of thing is just an excuse to take pictures for social media.  Maybe some folks feel they need to meet some kind of expectation, travel, luxury stuff .... ???

[WenGirl42]

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@Mominohio wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@Mominohio wrote:

I'll probably take a hit for this, but I feel many young people are expecting to pamper themselves (and at a very high financial cost) on a regular basis, or they simply cannot get through life.

I'm all for people who pay their own way (not living off the government or mom and dad) to choose the way they spend their money, and choose the experiences they feel are important to them.

But what I have seen in some of the younger people in my extended family (and most are not at all wealthy) is that they cannot cope without a 'get away' every couple of months at least. It has to be tropical, it has to be a week long, it has to entail a lot of money and social media attention. 

Trips that used to be a once or twice in a lifetime event for a couple are now considered as 'essential' to some people as those over the top bathrooms and kitchens we have discussed. They simply feel they can't get by without them. I've heard them say as much, simply cannot get by without an escape on a regular basis.

I'm glad I'm not them. I feel this can be a sign of  a weakness and if life really gets hard, they aren't going to be able to handle it in the long haul.

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how do they get days off work to do this every few months?

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@151949, You tell me and we'll both know! LOL

My sister in law and niece both just got new jobs two months ago, and will be taking off two weeks to go to Europe at the end of this month. 

I've seen over and over, people somehow getting time off when they have only had a job for a few months. I guess a lot of companies are now giving you paid time off right up front as an incentive. Can't imagine it, was never part of my world, as we had to work a whole year before any vacation time was allowed. Times they are a changing. 

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@Mominohio That is the least mystifying thing about this to me, lol! I started at my company over 10 years ago with enough paid time off to take a week every 3 months if I wanted to. You can take up to your year's allotment anytime in the year (you don't have to wait to accrue it).  Same at my employer before that, though I got more paid time off there, so a week or 2 off every few months doesn't seem unusual to me at all. 

[Trinity11]

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@151949 wrote:

Where do these young people get all this money? The weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars and now the poor darlings need a trip to Paris pre wedding to "reconnect". Rolling my eyes!.

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They get it by taking AP courses in high school. Then they get scholarships to college ..graduate with honors and then get scholarship money from good grad schools. Then they form their own company and make a fortune. Thankfully, they are self-made and deserve trips to Paris. They write their own ticket in life... 

[Zenyoga]

What next don't forget there's the babymoon, in some cases it can  happen before the Earlymoon or Honeymoon lol I will be married for 51 years in November maybe me and my husband should start planning a aftermoon. 

[beach-mom]

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@missy1 wrote:

Now there will be registries for Earlymoons.

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@missy1 - LOL! But the sad part is you are probably right!

DD is in two upcoming weddings. Both couples are and have been living together for a while, and both took extravagant "vacations" this past spring. I just didn't know what they were called!

We went to a wedding this past March. Here's a different idea: the bride and groom did not live together and did not vacation together before the wedding. They are now living together in another state where she is far away from her family. They had a simple wedding, and they're doing just fine. 

[Desertdi]

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@Zenyoga wrote:

What next don't forget there's the babymoon, in some cases it can  happen before the Earlymoon or Honeymoon lol I will be married for 51 years in November maybe me and my husband should start planning a aftermoon. 

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@Zenyoga     Definitely YES !!!!!!!

[nun ya]

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@Mominohio wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@Mominohio wrote:

I'll probably take a hit for this, but I feel many young people are expecting to pamper themselves (and at a very high financial cost) on a regular basis, or they simply cannot get through life.

I'm all for people who pay their own way (not living off the government or mom and dad) to choose the way they spend their money, and choose the experiences they feel are important to them.

But what I have seen in some of the younger people in my extended family (and most are not at all wealthy) is that they cannot cope without a 'get away' every couple of months at least. It has to be tropical, it has to be a week long, it has to entail a lot of money and social media attention. 

Trips that used to be a once or twice in a lifetime event for a couple are now considered as 'essential' to some people as those over the top bathrooms and kitchens we have discussed. They simply feel they can't get by without them. I've heard them say as much, simply cannot get by without an escape on a regular basis.

I'm glad I'm not them. I feel this can be a sign of  a weakness and if life really gets hard, they aren't going to be able to handle it in the long haul.

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how do they get days off work to do this every few months?

---

@151949, You tell me and we'll both know! LOL

My sister in law and niece both just got new jobs two months ago, and will be taking off two weeks to go to Europe at the end of this month. 

I've seen over and over, people somehow getting time off when they have only had a job for a few months. I guess a lot of companies are now giving you paid time off right up front as an incentive. Can't imagine it, was never part of my world, as we had to work a whole year before any vacation time was allowed. Times they are a changing. 

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Some companies make you pay it back if you leave before you actually "earned" the time.

[Spurt]

It sounds like a trend the travel industry is starting to make more money...............because you know how everyone wants to follow the pied pier and be on trend...............

[Mominohio]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

Where do these young people get all this money? The weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars and now the poor darlings need a trip to Paris pre wedding to "reconnect". Rolling my eyes!.

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They get it by taking AP courses in high school. Then they get scholarships to college ..graduate with honors and then get scholarship money from good grad schools. Then they form their own company and make a fortune. Thankfully, they are self-made and deserve trips to Paris. They write their own ticket in life... 

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Maybe the people in this article and SOME people do all this on their own dime, but we have seen numerous couples that are still working their way part time through community college, living together with one or the other parents, working part time at best, and expecting parents and future wedding guests to fund these excursions, because the baby came when the wedding was supposed to happen, and the wedding got postponed for another year.

I've received more than one invitation that has directly asked for money for the honeymoon. I think they were broke because the earlymoon they took completely drained the funds. 

I know quite a few 'kids' (my own included) that don't seem to be able to follow a life plan, one step at a time (and I'm not picking that plan for any of them) but rather try to do it all and be it all at once, and very young. 

Wonder why they are so stressed?  They Think that it is a good idea to go to college, get married, have a baby, buy a house, travel, and work a full time job while doing all that, and all before they are 25. Just saying....you have a whole life ahead of you, spread it out, take some time to savor the events in life. It doesn't all have to be lived by the time you are 30.

[Spurt]

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@glb613 wrote:

Here's a novel ideal, have a simple, no stress wedding and enjoy it.  

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@glb613  @maestra@ @SahmIam @Mominohio

And some couples will spend all that time and MONEY$$$ and the marriage quickly ends..........

Couples who spent less than $1,000 were 53% less likely to divorce than couples who spent $20,000 or more. Contrary to what the wedding industry wants you to think (that the average wedding costs an astounding $30,000), more is not always better.