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Posts: 6,047
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

1.   An employee couldn't come in because his Llama wouldn't stop barfing.

 

2.   An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of Tuna and was deathly ill.

 

3.   An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.

 

4.   An employee's wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.

 

5.   An employee broke his arm reaching to grab a falling sandwich.

 

6.   An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.

 

7.   The employee said he couldn't come to work because his fortune teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.

 

8.   An employee couldn't come to work because she accidentally got on a plane.

 

9.   An employee had a "lucky night" and didn't know where he was in the morning.

 

10.   An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife's cousin's pet, because he was an uncle and pallbearer.

 

11.   An employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn't leave the house to come to work.

 

12.   An employee's false teeth flew out of the window while driving on the highway.

 

13.   An employee refused to work because his fish was unwell.

 

14.   An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires.

 

15.   An employee was bowling the game of his life and couldn't make it to work.

 

16.   An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left over to play with on Monday morning.

 

17.   An employee said bats got in her hair.

 

18.   An employee said she was bitten by a duck.

 

19.   An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home, and had to stay home to deal with it.

 

20.   An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

 

21.   An employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.

 

22.   An employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.

 

23.   An employee was too upset after watching "The Hunger Games."

 

24.   An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowner's Association.

 

25.   An employee said a cow broke into her home and she had to wait for the insurance man.

 

                           Reader's Digest   

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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Posts: 2,767
Registered: ‎12-07-2012

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

Not exactly an excuse, but the best reason for coming in late.

 

An engineer at our car company came in late with a scowl on his face.  One of his many cats (he talked about them often) took his car keys and buried them in the litterbox!!

 

I believed him because he wouldn't make up such a story, but many years later we had a cat fascinated by metal objects.  Keys, metal eyeglass frames, he'd even chew on the iron legs of a table.  Weird.

 

Wayyy off from chewing up homework!

Denise
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Posts: 4,057
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

I love number 7! 🤣☕️🙏❤️

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Posts: 2,828
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

Those are good. I used to work with a guy who never worked a 5 day week the entire time I worked with him. We started keeping a list of his excuses as to why he either had to leave early or not come in at all. By the time we left (we all got laid off ) we were at over 100 all different excuses. Some were: watching paint dry, ants in his house, screen door blew off, kid lost his retainer, wife wanted him home NOW!, he had to get new tires. This guy was original and what's worse, the boss let him get away with it. Then he would whine and be out of vacation by April but somehow it didn't stop him  from taking more time off each and every week.

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Posts: 22,836
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

As a supervisor and then a manager, I always HATED it when people gave excuses for why they couldn't come to work.  Of course, they always called at 6am and left a voicemail message because didn't want to talk to me....LOL   Coat off, coffe in hand...I'd sit down and listen to my vm messages.  There were some doozies.  I particularly hated the ones calling in sick when they felt the need to tell me gory details.  As often as I said, that I didn't care why they were out; so just tell me if you are using a sick day or a vacation day.  They would still go on and on and on with their stories.  Workers don't seem to understand that we don't care why people are out, we only need to that they are out so we can arrange coverage for the work.  It never mattered to me if the reason was Uncle George died or the dog took my shoes and hid them (that was real) or I think I'm having a heart attack but I'll be in tomorrow for sure (real one).  

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Posts: 44,138
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

My two favorites after years as a supervisor/manager:

 

I can't find my shoes.

 

There's a raccoon under my car that hisses whenever I get near it.

 

@Chrystaltree   I agree, many of the sick give far too much information.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
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Posts: 30,016
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

I had a relative who was a supervisor at work and she used to get the call-offs everyday and some of them were hilarious. 

 

@Meowingkitty , we have a woman at work who hasn't worked a full 5 day work week either.  She hasn't been here that long but she either comes in late, leaves early or isn't here at least 1 day a week, usually more.  It's actually comical listening to the excuses she has. 

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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma 

 

Since I "tell it like it is"?  When asked by someone my superior, actually anyone, same reply. Personal Business!  They asked again i would ask if they didn't hear me? I repeat it and hang up. BYE now!

 

If I was at work and needed to punch the clock early "do you want my dictionary(carried a pocket size) to look up the word"?

 

 

 

hckynut

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Posts: 12,282
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

I very seldom called off of work, but twice the spring broke on the garage door and I couldn't get the door to lift to get the car out.

 

We have a double garage door and it is heavy.  We had to call someone to replace the spring.  My boss said "yeah right" disbelieving me when I called in.  About a month later, the same thing happened to her.

 

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Posts: 9,585
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: EXCUSES PEOPLE USED TO GET OUT OF GOING TO WORK

We have a friend who has two huge Dobermans...they both would pick up anything lying around and hide them. My friend missed work entirely one day when Thor his her car keys and she couldn’t find them. That’s when you make sure to never put them on the table. She found them buried in a basket of laundry that night.