Community Chat

[bells4me]

On 2/8/2015 chessylady said: Since getting pregnant over and over is their way of proving their worth, I feel for any Duggar woman who can't get pregnant.

Didn't you decide how many children you would have. I did.

I wish them all the best. I read Anna may be preggers with twins & Jessa is pregnant too.

[RetRN]

Good for them, they are good role models. I am sick of seeing all of the single moms out there abusing the system. These young women will care for their children and educate them on their own dime.

[Ms X]

I'm sorry to criticize, but this family gives me the creeps. I just think nineteen kids is excessive. I remember reading a story about doctors telling her not to try for a 20th, but she did and lost the child. What is behind this drive to have so many children?

ETA: It seems like a contest or something, which isn't a good way to make such a decision. Maybe I just don't understand their family and culture.

[brii]

nvm

[June Lands]

On 2/8/2015 chessylady said: Since getting pregnant over and over is their way of proving their worth, I feel for any Duggar woman who can't get pregnant.

They are not on public assistance at least and are good caring loving parents.

[Mominohio]

On 2/8/2015 chessylady said: Since getting pregnant over and over is their way of proving their worth, I feel for any Duggar woman who can't get pregnant.

I think that is the way people outside want to peg them, that they find their worth in large number of pregnancies.

What many people, who actually believe as they do, will tell you is that part of their 'worth' is that of being a mother (or parent in general). There are still women, even in America, who believe you will never do anything any more imoprtant that be a good mother. It isn't that you can't do other things as well (careers, for example) but that being a good mother, and for these girls, bringing their children up in the Christian faith, being at home for your children, is more important than any other 'job' they could do.

It is a part of their faith, much like the Amish, that the Lord decides the size of their families, and how many children He wants them have. I don't usually see people criticizing the Amish for their large families.

I think what really gets under the skin of women who don't believe this way, is that these women are happy. I don't think that sits well with many of today's women who are sometimes looking for battles, who are spread so thin they have stress and unhappiness in their lives. They aren't finding happiness, and quite frankly, don't want to see others happy.

[Mominohio]

On 2/9/2015 Ms X said:

I'm sorry to criticize, but this family gives me the creeps. I just think nineteen kids is excessive. I remember reading a story about doctors telling her not to try for a 20th, but she did and lost the child. What is behind this drive to have so many children?

ETA: It seems like a contest or something, which isn't a good way to make such a decision. Maybe I just don't understand their family and culture.

I think you hit it exactly, it is part of their religious and family culture, and those not in it, just don't get it. I'm not lecturing here, as I kind of see where you are coming from, it does seem different to me as well. I do know people like them, ultra conservative Christians, very large families, moms usually only at home. But they are happy, they are (all the families I know) self supporting, have healthy, happy kids, two parent household, good values, and smart and giving children.

Maybe more of the world needs to really look inside these families and see what is making them work, when so many other families are failing.

[Ms X]

On 2/9/2015 mominohio said:

On 2/8/2015 chessylady said: Since getting pregnant over and over is their way of proving their worth, I feel for any Duggar woman who can't get pregnant.

I think that is the way people outside want to peg them, that they find their worth in large number of pregnancies.

What many people, who actually believe as they do, will tell you is that part of their 'worth' is that of being a mother (or parent in general). There are still women, even in America, who believe you will never do anything any more imoprtant that be a good mother. It isn't that you can't do other things as well (careers, for example) but that being a good mother, and for these girls, bringing their children up in the Christian faith, being at home for your children, is more important than any other 'job' they could do.

It is a part of their faith, much like the Amish, that the Lord decides the size of their families, and how many children He wants them have. I don't usually see people criticizing the Amish for their large families.

I think what really gets under the skin of women who don't believe this way, is that these women are happy. I don't think that sits well with many of today's women who are sometimes looking for battles, who are spread so thin they have stress and unhappiness in their lives. They aren't finding happiness, and quite frankly, don't want to see others happy.

Thank you for that info, mominohio. I was unaware of that as the reason. I must say I was alarmed when she went against her doctor's advice,

[mstyrion 1]

On 2/8/2015 RetRN said:

Good for them, they are good role models. I am sick of seeing all of the single moms out there abusing the system. These young women will care for their children and educate them on their own dime.

they may be good role models for their particular religious beliefs, but I don't see them as role models for the rest of society. The women are not encouraged to work outside the home, get a good education or to be self-sufficient should they not desire marriage and children.

Your comment about single moms is very generalized and terribly insulting to a lot of single women with kids trying to provide for their families.

[Ms X]

On 2/9/2015 mstyrion 1 said:

On 2/8/2015 RetRN said:

Good for them, they are good role models. I am sick of seeing all of the single moms out there abusing the system. These young women will care for their children and educate them on their own dime.

they may be good role models for their particular religious beliefs, but I don't see them as role models for the rest of society. The women are not encouraged to work outside the home, get a good education or to be self-sufficient should they not desire marriage and children.

Your comment about single moms is very generalized and terribly insulting to a lot of single women with kids trying to provide for their families.

mstyrion: I'm not trying to start an argument, but what's wrong with these women deciding to be mothers and homemakers? If they can afford to stay home and raise their kids and that's what they want, why not? I think raising children and working inside the home is important work, and it's not easy. I have a neighbor who works in the home and has raised six children, including foster children. She has done an amazing job and knows quite a bit about child-rearing. I also respect career women who juggle work and children, as that's not easy either.