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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

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Another poster triggered a question.  I am slowing getting rid of STUFF.  But of course what I value no family member values.  THEY WANT NOTHING and we are talking about four grown daughters.  They say they have their own things and don't want mine.  Of course my things are what I got from my mother and grandmother, furniture that you cannot kill... made very well.  China, silver, crystal, jewelry... so many things over time that I took from others or collected myself.  It hurts that I cannot get anyone to do what I did and that is gladly receive what was handed over to me.  

 

Auction houses charge to pick it up and the value is cents on the dollar so I am told.  Inside I hurt and feel betrayed in a way.  I guess I will get over it.

 

What did you do if you had this happen to you.  What should I do.  It is only a matter of time that I will be OUT OF HERE and in a smaller place. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

If they don't want it, they don't want it.

 

I don't want anybody's stuff either.  LOL

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

You are quick .  Yes, I see your point.  But there should be some value to one of them.  Sentimental growing up with it?  Knowing I owned it or my mother or grandmother owned it?  Seems kind of harsh and uncaring?  OR AM I OVER REACTING.  I do have a niece and a granddaugher old enough to use it but I dare not ask since they don't have the space, YET.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

Some people don't value things the way you do.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It certainly doesn't mean they're uncaring. 

 

Maybe you can set aside a few special pieces for each of them and explain the meaning behind it.  They might appreciate that.

 

Sometimes people have so many things it can be overwhelming. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,537
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

It is a new generation, everything is disposable.  

People no longer look for quality or are willing to pay for it.  You buy things quick and cheap with the plan of replacing it in a few years when your mood or style changes.

Many of the younger generations do not even THINK of MOVING furniture when they change jobs and relocate, they just rid of everything and buy new after they move.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,558
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

There are probably under a dozen things I would like from my parents' home.  I realize this may sound painful to you, but sell what you can, donate the rest, and be happy. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

Give it to someone who wants it, donate, or sell it.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,577
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

OP

 

not everyone has sentimental attachments to objects.

But you should approach the grandaughter or niece and tell them if you are interested in this stuff take it before I get rid of it, give them a chance to take it

 

 

Otherwise hire an estate sale company  and be done and move on with your life.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,104
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

I experienced this and am now (mostly) on the other side.  I choose a few key items I thought had meaning to the family and distributed those, along with keeping a couple of items for myself.  Then, I either sold or gave away.  People I gave to were thrilled to get what I had, and I feel good that I no longer have it.  I think you will find that once you start the process of unloading, you will be hooked on continuing with it.  It almost did me in to give aways such nice things, but they are only things.  No big deal.  I've heard your story many times over.  You can stress over it, or decide you are better off getting past it.  Good luck on the downsizing!  Hard to do, but so rewarding in the end.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,597
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Downsizing and family members want nothing advice

I've heard this many times from my old neighbors in a past neighborhood.  All were from the Greatest generation, I was from the their children's generation.  Many had treasures, and believe me they were treasures that family members did not have any interest in.  Family photos, items of historic value etc.  When they passed the kids either sold them to dealers in whole house lots just to get rid of them or threw them away.  It was very sad to see.  Their neighbors who were also in the same situation were applauded by the way these family members acted towards their loved ones possessions but were in no better situations themselves with their children.  Some can bypass their children and leave them to someone in the grandchildren's age group who does have some feeling for family or the past.  Search though that group, you may hit pay dirt there.