Community Chat

[godi]

Great post @golding76  so spot on. 

[skatting44]

@golding76 

 So true .

 This is what I have heard from others who were abused and lived to tell the tale  after a long striggle of breaking free .

[golding76]

mom2four0418,

Here is the site where I discovered this list.  (I corrected the name "Brian" where it was mistakenly written as "Brain" at one point.  If only this guy had had one.)

Oddly enough, I cannot find the "Domestic Violence Awareness" site from which I lifted the entire list and the photo.  However, I found the same info with a different photo on this site.  (Footnote:  The site where I originally found the info had "Awareness" misspelled.  They did not have the "e" between the "r" and the "n."  I corrected that, too.)

  https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/forum/survivors-of-domestic-abuse/gabby-petito-s-death-may-help-ot...

[mom2four0418]

@golding76 

Thank you for the link. I did not see your original posting on any of the DV websites, and would find it odd if they had posted something using specific names since the case is still very active.

These type of events can often be triggering, and you have been kind to share your story. 

[golding76]

mom2four0418,

It is odd that we are unable to find the site where I first found this helpful list.  And, just for the record, I, too disagree with item #13 on the list. 

Sometimes you have to reveal something ugly about your own life to help someone else have a prettier life.  So, I revealed.  Once again.

I just now realized you are the one who has this quotation with your posts:

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

If only you knew how this speaks to my soul.  Each time I read it, I feel I have read Truth and breathe with ease.  How much I agree with Dostoevsky on this thought.

Children typically have no ideas that cause them to pre-judge or hate.  They are the pure beings that a greater power has created.  It is up to the world not to corrupt or putrify these clean vessels.

[riley1]

My daughter worked in DV & Child Abuse for years. One time she said to me - Mom, you can't even imagine what people think up to do to their SO or kids. That, broke my heart.

And, she would always tell me no matter how hard she tried to get the victim away from the abuser, she said they most often went back or would bail them out of jail.

Such a sad situation.

[JamandBread]

@CalminHeart I have also lived this experience. Nowhere did I "revictimize" the victim. In fact, I didn't mention the victim. I asked if the speculation about Laundrie had been verified by authorities. In fact I've asked the question several times, on other Gabby threads and SURPRISE! no answer.
But you go right ahead with your expertise in red flags based on a few videos you've seen. In truth, none of us know who did what to who. I'll wait for the authorities to piece together the real story.
P.s. if you are a champion for DV victims, I'm sure you're advocating for more mental health professionals full time on your local police force.

[Porcelain]

The part where he said he decided she needed to stay outside the van to calm down...classic abuser behavior. He wasn't calming her down. He was punishing her with something she feared in order to force compliance.

Adults in a healthy relationship can hold each other accountable, but they cannot punish each other.

[chrystaltree]

Most of it is speculation and interpretation and opinion. There's some truth in it but that truth does not apply to all or even most domestic abuse cases. Every case is different because the people involved and the circumstances are different. All anyone knows is that she was murdered and her boyfriend is the most logical perpetrator. She's dead all the the stuff about domestic abuse doesn't matter now. Murder is murder. It doesn't become worse because arm chair detectives classify it in a particular way. The FBI isn't looking for a domestic abuser, they are looking for a murderer. Or alleged murderer.

[Porcelain]

"More than half of female homicide victims were killed in connection to intimate partner violence — and in 10 percent of those cases, violence shortly before the killing might have provided an opportunity for intervention.

More than 55 percent of the deaths were related to partner violence, and the vast majority of those were carried out by a male partner.

"What's notable is that this is across all racial ethnic groups," says Emiko Petrosky, a science officer at the CDC and an author of the report. "Intimate partner violence can affect anyone ... it really just shows that [this] is a public health problem.""