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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

It bothers me if it's someone I need to work with, as it makes the work harder. Otherwise, no. I learned not to care about that a long time ago.

 

If someone doesn't like me, that's their thing, not mine. I'm comfortable with the fact that I can't make everyone happy and that not everyone is going to like me.

 

Now, if NO ONE liked me, that would be another story and then I'd have to examine my own behavior. But it juat a few people don't, I'm okay. Heck, odds are good that I don't like those people, either.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,813
Registered: ‎05-29-2015

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

Not any more...I have more important things to be concerned with*.  Most of the time, the feeling is mutual.

 

 

*Note to grammar police aka jerks lol of which I am a proud member..."with which to be concerned" just sounds tedious...please don't dislike me!  Smiley Embarassed

 

 

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 34,601
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

[ Edited ]

@LilacTree@KingstonsMom

 

Here is an example of what I learned from DH who is known for being a "straight-shooter."

 

I was "called on the carpet" by an AP into the office with her and the principal. (Both women, but I was dreading this meeting and feeling intimidated.) This AP and I had differing opinions -- I had done nothing wrong.

 

DH advised me not to placate this person... I was not obligated to PRETEND that I liked her.

 

The meeting went well for me. The principal seemed to have greater respect for me after this). One of the issues was an assignment which had not been graded by me. I forthrightly told them that I had sent the assignment to the student's study hall teacher and this AP SEVEN times and was waiting for it to come back to me TO BE GRADED. This student NEVER came to class).

 

She (AP) and I NEVER  became friends -- the principal confronted her with the missing assignment right then and there. 

 

IT FELT GOOD

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,780
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

No, it usually means they are jealous.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 194
Registered: ‎08-06-2013

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

Yes, because I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and therefore take it a little personally if someone still doesn't like me, but not enough that I'll try to change their mind.

 

I just figure, if you don't like me, I probably wouldn't like you a whole lot either. There must be some kind of mis-connection going on there.

 

Either that or they have some unfair, petty reason for not liking you (jealousy, being judgmental about some minor thing you said or did or that they know about you), in which case, I don't want to waste my energy on trying to build a relationship with someone like that.

 

Maybe not the most Christ-like attitude to have, but I'm just not enough of an extrovert to want to spend that much time with people, period, let alone ones who clearly don't get me. My energy is for the relationships I truly enjoy.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,680
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you


@LilacTree wrote:

. . . and you don't even know why? 

 

Do you try to win the person over, or just dismiss it?


 

No, it no longer bothers me. The simple explanation for me is that there are those who I don't like and I can't give you a valid reason why not. There are also those who I could make a long list of reasons why I don't like them! I don't have to like everyone and everyone doesn't have to like me. 

 

If I can't be accepted as I am then there is no point in trying to "win someone over". It wouldn't seem genuine. I might be a little puzzled but I'm not going to give it much thought. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,369
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

I don't like some people so it's ok if some people don't like me. That doesn't mean I don't behave civilly to that person or expect the same in return. It doesn't upset me in anyway. That would take too much energy and focus which would be a waste of all our time.


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

In and of itself, it doesn't bother me.   We're all different.   Some people like me and some people don't like me.  I get that.    Same goes vice versa.

 

But there is one scenario that tends to bother me - I've had a couple of friends, over the years, who just suddenly stopped being my friend.    They never tell you why and if you try to contact them, they don't respond.  They just disappear as a friend.

 

If somebody doesn't like me, that's fine.  I just don't have room in my brain to worry about that.  But if they did, then they don't, it seems to me that they could tell me why.    I obviously care, so I would not have purposely done/said something to offend them and would think I should have the chance to make it good, if that is what happened.   But you just never hear from them again, so you never get to know why.  

 

I'm not clingy, or stalky, so I don't try more than twice to make contact.   Oh well.   But it doesn't speak well to their character, IMO.  I will continue to care about that person (or who I thought that person to be), and even think of them from time to time.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,059
Registered: ‎07-20-2011

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you

I agree with you completely.  I try to go out of my way for people. As the old saying goes, " treat people the way you want them to treat you". You can't please everyone and as you said, not everyone is going to like you anyway. I don't want toxic people in my life, especially my family. I think people waste too much time worrying about whether one is liked or not. Be yourself, except people for who and what they. Have a good day.

 

Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: Does it bother you if someone dislikes you


@reiki604 wrote:

I don't like some people so it's ok if some people don't like me. That doesn't mean I don't behave civilly to that person or expect the same in return. It doesn't upset me in anyway. That would take too much energy and focus which would be a waste of all our time.


Exactly!