Re: Does anyone else feel this way (Christmas)

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

I'm older, and hopefully at least a little wiser now. Christmas is a busy time, and it can still be easy to assume too much responsibility for everyone's happiness and memories. As women, I think that's what we tend to do.

I had my Christmas 'awakening' a few decades ago. While our son was young, I drove myself to the literal breaking point for every Christmas and Easter. I spent too many Christmas Days sick and weak from exhaustion. One particularly bad year, in exasperation, my DH asked me, "Why do you do this to yourself?!" My answer was, "I'm making memories for our son." Imagine my shock when I heard our boy say, "Do you know what I will remember, Mom? I'll remember you as a crazy woman."

Our son has his own family now. They will be here this evening for Christmas dinner. I expect to be wiped out by the time they leave and the last dish is washed; but, after the dust has settled a little, I'm sure I will also be filled with a sense of older-but-wiser contentment.

Merry Christmas, @Everyone.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

@Karie2022 wrote:
I think that's a fairly normal response to the holidays...especially for women...we've shopped, cooked, cleaned, socialized, wrapped, decorated, etc for years...and maybe we just get burnt out sometimes...I told my dh, someday I just want to go away for the holidays...no Christmas...just relaxing on a beach somewhere ;0

I hear you. Time to rethink how you celebrate. Instead of exchanging gifts with adults, our family decided to stop it. It was a relief. If there are kids in the family, let it be about them. If no kids, you could decide to donate money to a charity or a shelter. as far as driving yourselves crazy in the kitchen, I vote with the poster who said to buy prepared food and doctor it up if you want. Decide what decorations you want to put up (we do after Thanksgiving). Cleaning the house like crazy? Do what you need to do.

I can speak with some authority here, as I used to drive myself crazy. I was the family entertainer. We do have two GC - each will get one big gift this year. No piles of little stuff. Be kind to yourselves.

For all those lonely on Christmas, I do feel badly for you. Is there any way to find someone else in the same situation? If not, try to be good to yourself in some special way. All my wishes for a day of peace.

Merry Christmas to all!

sgraham30 · ‎03-14-2010

Now that my kids are all grown, to me Christmas is just another day, albeit an expensive one. Christmas was fun for me when my kids were little & still believed in Santa. I loved to see the looks on their faces when they woke up & saw the tree & all the presents underneath it.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

As someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas I feel for those who have lost the excitement that this holiday is supposed to bring. Maybe it's time to put all the external trappings aside and focus on what Christmas really means to you. Perhaps attending a service at your church can remind you and reinforce what's really important and what this holiday is really all about.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

Blahblahvampemer · ‎08-31-2010

Christmas is what you make it.

We haven't gone to a Christmas dinner with the family for many years because the bulk are the second cousins, and we're figuratively the red-headed steps. I would normally have turkey, and the sides would be already made (so heat and eat), but it's fillet mignon and lobster salad this year. The family stopped giving gifts decades ago, and this year I didn't buy a single gift. If I had to shop for them, I'd do it earlier in the year.

The thing I really miss is the mall's Christmas decor, but they've gone so PC that they barely bother, and I don't bother going to the mall.

Things change, but I still love Christmas when I ignore the traffic and psychos going nuts for a deal. Not exactly the reason for the season.

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mstyrion 1 · ‎09-18-2014

@AuntG wrote:
Your points are all valid. Still I'm glad you will put on a happy face. As one who used to love gifts, they have lost their thrill for me. The gift I appreciate now is the child in the manger so I make a point to attend church on Christmas. I must admit I've lost respect for younger family members who ignore the religious aspect of Christmas. I'd rather have them do their thing and prefer not to be a part of whatever it is they celebrate this time of year.

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I'm sorry you feel isolated from your younger family members because they choose not to celebrate XMas as a religious holiday. I am not Christian so I don't celebrate the religious aspects of this holiday.

My family lives many miles away, but I have friends are as dear to me as any family could be. We've formed our own traditions and I treasure our celebrations. Some of us are Christian, some are atheists, some are non religious. We all celebrate in our own ways with the most important thing being we do it together.

Instead of attempting to force your beliefs on those young people, why not just enjoy their company. You can still observe the religious aspects that are important to you without alienating those who choose not to observe like you do. It's supoosed to be a joyful season, so choose joy instead of anger.

~Enough is enough~

qvcaddition · ‎03-10-2010

@Shorty2U wrote:
Does anyone else feel this way?

Maybe I am just getting old, but I really cannot wait till Christmas is over. And I feel bad saying that (like the Grinch) because I used to be Mrs Christmas (lol).

Its just hard for me to keep up anymore with my back issues. (I had 6 shots in my back Monday to get rid of the pain). Plus my grandkids are older (18, 16, and 12). I love them with all my heart!!!!.. but its not as exciting as when they were excited about Santa (if you know what i mean?).

DH and I went to a movie today, stopped at market and waited in line 30 minutes for food for Christmas Eve, and stopped at the cemetery to make sure the Christmas wreath was on my parents grave (And I stood there crying)..

We came home, had dinner, did laundry, had to clean (still have to finish before bed).

My kids, grandkids, son in law, and sons girlfriend come tomorrow afternoon to celebrate and I will be cooking Italian food.

Then Christmas we have to drive to the in laws 1& 1/2 hours away. (Id rather stay home and go see another movie. (Its NOT against them, just am not into traveling and mingling).

HOWEVER, I make the best of it all for the others, and will NOT be a grump to anyone but I just cant wait till its over.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all.

I know how you miss when the grandkids where young. I miss my ITALIAN Grandma,s cooking. I was Mrs. CHRISTMAS also. Hated the stress, don,t miss all the baking either, but miss seeing their eyes glow when they opened their presents. Then they got older. Some people have no one that cares for them and all alone. I,m sorry you are in pain, try to enjoy visiting with family . MERRY CHRISTMAS

juperier · ‎10-21-2014

The older I get, the more I'm grateful that I wasn't raised with Christmas being the big, often forced, social event it has become. Once I got past the "Santa Claus" part we just celebrated with a nice dinner, minimal presents. My dad wanted nothing to do with family. I honestly feel sad that for so many it is either a forced event or a sad time because they aren't part of a big celebration.

@Shorty2U Since you obviously have major back issues, why on earth are you doing what sounds like the majority of the cooking and cleaning? At least most of your family and extended family must be old enough to pick up more of the load. Maybe even move the festivities to one of their homes.Chances are they'd be more than willing to help. And if traveling that long in a car is hard on your back, then maybe his family could either join your family or travel to your house a few days before or after and all go out for a nice dinner.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

I nearly lost my life this year and have no idea whether this Christmas will be my last. I am overjoyed that this Christmas will be a special one because we are all getting together and celebrating together as a family. I think having a heart attack taught me to wake up and smell the roses. Appreciate just being alive and stop sweating the small stuff. I used to worry about having the perfect gift for everyone...now it's about just being together and the joy of the season. A lesson well learned..

qvcaddition · ‎03-10-2010

@kcladyz wrote:
I hate christmas. I have no family and its kinda lonely but at least I can shop only for myself

I have done a lot of that in the last month. I decorate my house, I may be alone, but the festive look and warm glow to my living room makes me feel better. I brought some champagne and make a toast. I have family and still get lonely. All the grandkids I baked with, brought so much for, are too busy for me, not even a visit, a card, or a phone call. I still would do it all over again . Happy memories for me.

I will raise a toast to you at midnight. MERRY CHRISTMAS. Do something nice for yourself. I read scripture every morning before I start my day and believe it or not, I have a much better day.