Community Chat

[minkbunny]

Thinking about the Susan Boyle

thread and like many others, hoping that she can find a love in her life if that is what she wants. Also hoping she doesn't get her heart broken.

But then, would knowing love - even if it is a failed love - be better than going one's entire life never knowing that euphoria?

I have never had my heart broken by unrequited love but have known the incredible joy of falling in love, being in love and staying in love.

My heart was broken when my first husband died but 34 years of joy made the price of that pain worth the cost.

I wish that joy for her and all who are searching.

[Colonel Meow]

Definitely better to have loved and lost. I was a late bloomer, myself, although not nearly as late as Susan. My first real relationship didn't end on my terms, and I've always somewhat mourned that loss.

But as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason. I've moved on and am happy with my current significant other. However, I don't for one minute regret the time I spent with my first love, or in subsequent relationships since then (even when I've been hurt).

Anytime you are hurt or lose someone precious to you, that experience leaves an impression on your soul and allows you to better appreciate all the other wonderful things in your life that are still available to you.

[Mama Mia]

Better to have loved and lost. My late husband died after nearly five years of a truly wonderful loving marriage. It was shorter than I would've liked, but he is always in my heart and I would never ever forget him, even though I have again been married to a wonderful man now for thirty four years. I have been blessed and I know it.

mm

[blackhole99]

Loved and lost, everyone should get to experience head over heels love at least once in this life.

[Gooday]

What a timely post.

I have a wonderful friend who was in a relationship for 14 years. That ended 20 years ago. She has had about 3 dates since then. She is smart and the most loyal hard working person you would ever meet. Over the years she has packed on the lbs. and does not keep up with the most current fashion trends. Many times, my friends and I say how wonderful she is and wouldn't it be nice if she could meet someone.

Then....I think of how I and a few friends have experienced illness with our spouses. Just the thought of what I have experienced and the thought of losing him, makes me think.....maybe it's not so bad to be single.

I guess I'm just feeling a little melancholy. Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of my mom's death. But....on the bright side....I have great memories and so much to be thankful for!

[hckynut]

Hi minky, Huh?

[tansy]

I imagine it would all depend on how you lost the love:/

[Irshgrl31201]

Yes, I do believe it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. My first love was my daughters father and despite the relationship turning very abusive I would never go back and erase that not because it gave me my daughter either. It gave me strength and let me learn and understand what I would never accept in a relationship. I think every bad thing that happens to you, helps you appreciate the good things even more.

[insomniac]

Yes.

[minkbunny]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies,

John, it is just the age old question - is the pain of losing a love better than never having known love at all. Just thought about it when I read about Susan Boyle and her finding her first love at the age of 53.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.