Community Chat

[Carmie]

It depends on who's borrowing and what.   We loan DVD's out and borrow them from a friend.  No problems ever,

i have have a SIIL  and a DIL that borrow means can I have it.  They never return anything and often donate it when they are done using it.   No more borrowing unless I don't want it back.

My children return everything in good condition on time as do my two sisters.

[CelticCrafter]

To our daughter, yes.  To anyone else, no...

I had a neighbor once ask if she could borrow my sewing machine, she was really po'd when I told her no and then felt as thought I owed her an explanation as to why I wouldn't.

[Noel7]

ps I have loaned money to friends and family, even though I've been burned once. 

My parents told me never to loan money unless I was ready to essentially give it away and never see it again.  I loaned quite a bit to an extended family member to fly to a funeral and home again.  Never saw a penny of it again, but I knew it was my choice and, considering the circumstances, it was best for the family as a whole that he be there. 

[chickenbutt]

Noel - Oh my goodness!  Bad enough that the friend gave your grill back all destroyed, but what your MIL did just made me gasp!

Once, many years ago, back when I was trying to fix that mess of a relationship (like an idiot!), I loaned my so-called mother a first edition of a book that I loved.   Didn't get it back so, finally, I asked for my book back.  She said something like 'oh, I don't know, I probably threw it away'.   Freaking SERIOUSLY?   That hurt.  I was never able to get another first edition.

[VanSleepy]

Yes, we will loan things to friends and family and haven't had any (major) problem.  One thing I have stopped doing, though, is bringing my platters/bowls to parties when I bring food.  I don't think it is intentional, but a few times I didn't get them back.  Now I go buy something for a couple bucks and tell them they can keep it or toss it.

[Noel7]

---

@chickenbutt wrote:

Noel - Oh my goodness!  Bad enough that the friend gave your grill back all destroyed, but what your MIL did just made me gasp!

Once, many years ago, back when I was trying to fix that mess of a relationship (like an idiot!), I loaned my so-called mother a first edition of a book that I loved.   Didn't get it back so, finally, I asked for my book back.  She said something like 'oh, I don't know, I probably threw it away'.   Freaking SERIOUSLY?   That hurt.  I was never able to get another first edition.

---

**************************************

@chickenbutt  Oh, I get it, I really do.  Criminal, seriously, it strikes me as that bad.  I'm sorry that happend to you.

I've never gotten over losing my bike... my mother gave it to me when I was a kid and she liked to ride it every so often.  I can still see her, she was so pretty and she'd put a scarf over her beautiful hair and ride for just a few minutes.  I can't dwell on it long, it still bothers me.

My MIL was a mean, nasty person.  You may notice I never tell anyone here seeking advice that they have to put up with a rotten MIL, or mother, for that matter.  Some people are just toxic.

[ECBG]

Our son will come here to borrow a piece of equipment and not having my "Type A" personality, won't think to return it.

[chickenbutt]

Noel

[Noel7]

@chickenbutt

[alicedee]

---

@Noel7 wrote:

I've had so many painful lessons, I've learned not to loan again.

My daughter can have anything of mine, and sometimes I foist a good piece of jewelry on her I know would be perfect for an event.  She takes good care of everything.

Friends I love?  Not anymore.  One of our closest friends asked to borrow a new grill of ours for their family outing.  I said sure, months later I asked for it back.  I got it, all right.  Burned, rusted and filthy... ruined.  No offer to replace it.

Even more painful... my MIL said she wanted to exercise, could she borrow a bicycle I'd had since childhood.  A classic Schwinn.  I really didn't want to, I didn't like her at all, but I didn't want to cause family trouble.  I gave in and I asked her to be careful, it meant a lot to me. 

A year later I asked for it back and she said, "That old thing?  I gave it to Goodwill a long time ago."   I was heartbroken.

---

Noel...the audacity of your MIL takes my breath away.  I would have been sorely tempted to do bodily harm.  Then she (and my husband...her son) would have been told I expected her to begin an EBay search to replace it.   Grrrrrrrr......sorry you had to go through that.