Community Chat

[Shorty2U]

Do you know people who cause their own problems and dont listen to ANY advice?

I have a friend I used to work with long ago. We stilll keep in contact (by phone).

She really has had her share of bad luck and a rough life. But I feel as though she causes most of this bad luck herself.

I have tried to help her several times and she makes 100 excuses.

She works (has a pretty good job) but shes always broke. She doesnt even have a car. She has moved I dont know how many times.

So anyway, NOW (6 months ago) she goes and takes in her one daughter and grandson too. The daughter never works half the time (and shes not ill or anything) and my friend foots the rent, utiliies, etc.

They live in a bad part of a city. Its really bad where they live. Well, now she called me and told me they are being EVICTED in 2 weeks and so far didnt find a place. (and my friend has been evicted before when she lived ALONE).

I think my friend should go on her own and tell her daughter to grow UP and fend for herself and her son.

And my friend was on her own and she couldnt even make it on her own let alone with her daughter and little grandson. But my friend keeps saying she HAS TO help them for her grandsons sake. (hes very young).

Well she makes 100 excuses no matter what I suggest. And her daughter turns my stomach because she uses her son to get to her mom so she can free load of her mom.

So anyway, she called me tonight and on one hand I could cry, because I feel bad (and I talked nice to her). BUT on the other hand I get mad because she NEVER takes advice.

I suggested she go on her own (as I said), then I suggested going to a FREE money counselor. I even suggested I could do her budget and help her manage her money. I asked if she wastes money on anything. She said no, they dont even have cable.

Look I know what she earns and she must be wasting money because she should be able to pay her stuff. And I know this because at one time in my life after my first divorce/job loss and spine surgery I was broke and no one helped me and I did it.

(I am since remarried and thats over with), but I STILL dont understand WHY my friend cant live on her salary with OR without her daughter/grandson.

IMO there comes a time when you tell your kids fend for yourself. I dont and cant help my grown kids (other than babysit my grandkids at times and the usual grandparent stuff) but I dont pay their BILLS. My kids were taught RESPONSIBILITY.

I wish my friend would realize this. While I admire her kindness, her daughter is a loser who is using my friend.