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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,033
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

As soon as someone asks me if I want to hear a secret, the very first thing I say is:  Can I tell my husband?

 

I guess you could say I am not strong enough to hold the burden that someone may be passing off to me, whether it's about them or someone else, I don't want to carry it alone.

 

Even if it's something lame, I still tell my husband.

 

I don't think anyone has ever said in almost 40 decades 'Nevermind then'. 

 

If you know me, you know me.

 

Sort of O/T, but one of the best books I've ever read was called 'Keeping Secrets'.  One of those books, you walk around with a sad feeling for a long time....

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,388
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

About myself, no.

 

If someone tells me something and asks me not to repeat it, I keep it to myself.

 

If someone tells me something and I don't think it should be repeated by me to anyone else I won't bring it up.  It's up to them to make their story known to those they want to know.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

qvcfreak wrote:

I have secrets  that I will take to the grave. To me, if I don't want anyone to know, I don't share it with anyone. And I do keep secrets, to me they are just as important as my own no matter how big or small. 

 

A few months ago my cousin shared a secret with me, she just needed to vent. My aunt, her mother who I love dearly knew the secret and told others. My cousin called me on it thinking I was the one that told. I knew it had been my aunt because she called to tell me about it and I acted as if I knew nothing and was hearing it for the first time. My cousin and I are no longer close as she still thinks it was me and my aunt knows why we don't talk and she doesn't tell her it was she that told. Very sad but I just don't feel it's my place. 


 

That's just awful.  Then it's multiplied times infinity that her mother KNOWS what she did and that you are taking the rap for it, and doesn't say anything.  Smiley Sad   

 

Sorry that happened and you ended up on the bad end of things, especially since you didn't do anything wrong.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,996
Registered: ‎11-01-2010

Re: Do you keep secrets?

[ Edited ]

I don't really think in terms of secrets. That goes back to grade school behavior in my mind. We had secrets as children. As a mature adult secrets are not part of my life. 

 

I share a lot about myself but I am very selective about what & to whom. There are things I will never share with anyone but they are not "secrets." They are simply things I choose not to share. 

 

I tend not to gossip & don't pass on things that friends share with me. It doesn't matter if they tell me to keep it secret or not. I keep what they share to myself. I don't enjoy gossiping and tend to feel uncomfortable when others gossip about people.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Yes, I have secrets I've never told a sole and probably won't.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,217
Registered: ‎04-10-2012

@ladyroxanne wrote:

i have never told my husband everything about me as i'm sure he hasn't either.  there is no need to.

if someone asks me to keep a secret or not to tell anyone what they've told me, it goes no further.


Same here...Smiley Happy

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

My mother is trying to share family secrets now.  Some I know about, some I've wondered.  Do I won't to know about them now?  No.  She needs to vent and I'll listen.  She has many, many more that I've figured out but will never bring up until she is ready.  Some secrets are best kept hidden unless they could have been used to help the person trying to release them at the time.

 

Some secrets hurt people so deeply that we may never know about them.  Some keep the image of up, keep the shades drawn, keep the life going.  My mother is one, my father was one.  I'd be willing to bet that there are so many others on this board that are or were.

 

No ones life is perfect ... no ones life is not affected by something: large or small.

 

 

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Valued Contributor
Posts: 662
Registered: ‎04-20-2012

Absolutely.  If someone says "don't ever share", I don't ....ever, even if there is no one else who would care.

 

to me, one of the worse things is to share something that is not for broadcast & have that something later be thrown in one's face.  

 

A friendship ender on the spot.

Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours brighter.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,162
Registered: ‎08-01-2015

I do not know if I would call them all secrets, but I have never and will never share information that either I was asked not to share by a friend (unless is life threatening information) or sworn to keep quiet by oath (when I was in military ie a Secret Clearance) Some feelings I had about serving would be a shock to too many so I have yet to devulge to anyone. As far as husband and I........no I do not tell him everything and I ask nothing about his life prior to us. If we choose to share fine if not is ok too. His mother is one who you tell nothing to as she tells everyone (even twisting information to suit her purpose)even if confidential and I have watched her dismantle her own family piece by piece and is sad. I call that gossiping, I have found that some information told can hurt people and I do not carry that kind of information for long......I let it dissipate into think air. (See no Evil, hear no evil LOL) Have learned also to dissiminate what information is safe to divulge and what information has no purpose other then to needlessly hurt someone.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

(thread title)  yes, but not many to keep

 

hnj

hckynut(john)