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Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,195
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

Most or a lot of my relatives I go --- huh??  But then again, some of them probably do the same with me!

 

Your cousin is self-sufficient, used to doing what she wants, making her own decisions, spending or saving money how she wants and not having to ask others for their input or share in decision-making. 

 

So, I guess what looks or seems weird to us is probably perfectly logical or reasonable to her.  

 

I might question in my mind what some of my relatives are doing but I don't say anything or interfere and I don't want them to interfere with my decisions either.

 

If I felt that they were doing something which was harmful to them, I would speak up because I really wouldn't want something bad to happen to them.  Otherwise, I figure, its not my place.  If they are happy, then it's all good.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,498
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

Most of my relatives make me go hmmmmm....some people are penny wise and pound foolish, see it all the time.

Take time every day to enjoy where you are without a need to fix it
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,392
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

Money and it's use or misuse is value orientated. I recall my Mother tisking about her Mother putting  newspapers  on the floor to extend its longevity  and getting a silver  mirror resilvered being a waste. A woman raising 6 kids alone in the depression and she had quirks. I recall my other Grand mother  telling  me my  Mother was wasteful. A little bit of bathwater and a ,little toilet paper.  She remembered the dust bowl and lack of water.

 

I remember a Dear  Abby column  where she talked about how all of us have  penny pinching habits. She admitted to using a Bobby pin to get the last bit of lipstick out of a tube. I am sure she could have afforded many new lipstick tubes.

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎06-08-2011

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

First to the person who said she comes from a big family and has no odd people.  Maybe to you but not the rest of the world.  I've never seen a family yet that didn't have some odd behavior including my own.  Sometimes things can be traced to a person's age.  My mother would never throw out sheets of aluminum foil, but instead used them over and over.  She grew up during the Depression when people learned to be frugal and found additional uses for many items.  

 

All families have quirky behavior, but some have people whose behavior is quirkier than others.  I know someone who is very wealthy and has been for years, but her house is nearly falling down.  However, she is generous and kind with others.  My sister's former partner always looked like a bum and never spent money on himself, but when he died, he was worth millions.  He had money hidden away in the rafters of his basement, in boxes and a whole host of other places.  

 

I will say that quirky can quickly fall into the category of mental illness.  Not all of course, but some.  Look at hoarders.  Some of them have a lot of money and could live in a beautiful, spotless home, but something caused them to act out in a strange way.  Human behavior is an enigma.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,402
Registered: ‎08-31-2019

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

@NYC Susan Your assessment is just as speculative as mine was, based on what we've been told.  And that's just what mine was -- a 'maybe' for the OP to ponder.  Only she would know if any of it could fit.  

 

All individuals and families have psychological dynamics.  When used this way, it means feelings and emotions driving interactions and personal behaviors.  Not that someone is mentally ill, although that happens, too.  

 

Money issues rule at the top, for driving family apart. Family intervention is often necessary when they witness what they feel is reckless spending.

 

Heavy spending doesn't always mean someone is full of joy, just making their wishes come true for a happy evermore.  Instead, it's often how people fall into trouble and eventually regrets.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,213
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

Hard to wrap my brain around the fact that OP is concerned about her sister's cousin's toilet.  For $20 what could it be, a flap?

 

I have three toilets and had to replace the flap on one two days ago.  NEWS FLASH, I picked one with hard arms!!!  Nice black and red combo!!!  Better let my sister know so she can spread the word.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,604
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

@Jaspersmom   I am the person who has a big family and there are no noticeably odd habits that I know of.  My mother was one of 8 and my father was one of 11...everyone of them had lots of children.

 

i have never scratched my head over anything any one of them has done.

 

I also don't think your mother's habit of reusing aluminum foil is an odd behavior.  It was a normal behavior for people of a certain age that lived during hard times.  Just about everyone can remember their grandparents or parents doing this.

 

My whole family lives pretty well..no hoarders, no houses falling down, no spending money they don't have.  Of course I don't know follow every inch of their lives, but outwardly, they all seem pretty normal.  No one sticks out as an odd ball and makes me scratch my head.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,077
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

@Still Raining   Cute.  My comment was due to the fact I don't understand someone who didn't want to spend $20 on a toilet part but happily shelled out tens of thousands for landscaping.  But I'm sure you knew that but you just needed to be sarcastic. That's ok, it's your right to state your opinion like it is my right to state mine.

 

Everyone has their own priorities, silly me, mine include working indoor plumbing.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

She sounds odd to you, but perfectly normal to others. If she is single and has no one else to look after, she is free to do whatever she likes with her money. Many would envy her position!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,430
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

When someone inherits money it can bring up a of tittering and gossip in general.