@MaryLamb wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@MaryLamb wrote:
@GenXmuse wrote:
I don’t really make a habit of gossiping about people. Who is to say what is odd?
@GenXmuse It’s a goood point to bring up here. The point is that I don’t believe anyone who starts threads like these intends to do any harm. These forums are anonymous, so threads like this are just fun ways to discuss the human condition without anyone getting hurt. Those who say “mind your own business” or jump on the OP just don’t get it and are looking to be critical. It’s just meant to be innocent conversation and exchanges illuminating common human experiences.
I don't think the OP intended any harm either.
But those of us who are saying she should mind her own business do have something valid to say. What we're saying is that everyone is different, everyone has their own priorities, and it's unkind to judge the lives and decisions of others. There's no need to pick at every little thing people do. Her cousin is making her own choices, and the OP is overly critical because it's not the choices she would make. There's nothing really odd or even slightly humorous about her situation. (If there was, the replies here would have been completely different, and this thread would have been filled with people sharing funny stories.)
Far better to live and let live. I don't see anything wrong with reminding people of that.
@NYC Susan I don’t have a comprehensive knowledge of the OP’s history of criticism toward others in her life, so I’m just going on the fact that many times when I see any contributor post an experience they’re having, they often encounter many “mind your own business” replies. Since everything is anonymous here, and contributors might just be looking for some opinions on how to deal with kin, I just think it’s unnecessary to attack them for opening up the door for opinions. I think people take these type of threads too seriously and actually enjoy jumping on the people who create them, simply because they look for reasons to be critical. Like I said, it’s anonymous, and we all have special situations we have to deal with loved ones, so I would expect a little more compassion and empathy for fellow contributors.
The OP is not looking for opinions re how to deal with a loved one. That's obviously not why she started the thread. Her interest is clearly not in helping her cousin. She's hell-bent on criticizing her and gossiping about her. That's a BIG difference. And that's why so many posters are telling her to mind her own business.
I don't think anyone here "looked for reasons to be critical". We simply stated our opinions. If I agree with someone, I say so. (And I do that often.) But if I think they're out of line, I'll say that too.
Sure, of course I have compassion and empathy for fellow posters. And I have seen numerous, incredible posts from other posters who have reached out and gone above and beyond to empathize and support each other. But these are forums, and if someone starts a thread, they are inviting replies. So people will reply, and they'll reply with their honest thoughts. Many posters have said that what the cousin does is not the OP's business, and she should stop being so judgmental. Maybe she'll take that advice to heart.
(Btw, many of us have been supportive of the OP before, in other threads she's started. I have no doubt that I'll probably agree with her on other issues going forward. But I think she's wrong in this situation, and since these are forums, there's nothing wrong with stating opinions. As I said above, judging the lives and decisions of others, as the OP is doing, is unkind. And I stand by that.)
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