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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,845
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

[ Edited ]

Yes DH and I have some relatives who we are close to & see often that make us scratch our heads!  They are very well of and have a huge house...but it's always messy & cluttered.  My husband and I joke that instead of cleaning up they'll just put another addition onto the house...which they have done several times by now.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....


@50Mickey wrote:

While we are speculating about this lady I'll add my 2 cents. It sounds to me like she has taken care of the money that she inherited and she is spending it on what she wants to make her home exactly as she wants it. What's wrong with having a beautiful yard? Her plans sound lovely to me. We should all be so fortunate. As long as she is not asking the OP for money why would the OP care what this cousin does with her money. As far as saving for her later years maybe she has that taken care of. 


 

Yes, I agree.  Her home is her castle.  Good for her!  It's far better that she's spending money to keep it nice rather than let it fall into disarray.  There's nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful yard.

 

Fortunately, no one in my family delves into each other's finances.  I have no idea how much my sister paid for her house or how much my brother earns or what the cost was for my cousin's latest vacation.  It's just so completely not my business, and I'm also not the slightest bit interested.  It's their money and I assume they all are doing what's best for them.  It's not for me to judge, just as I wouldn't want them judging me.  That's overstepping in a big way, IMO.

 

Trusted Contributor
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Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

[ Edited ]

@CrazyKittyLvr2 said "She puts all her money in a checking account, no savings account, or investment account.  She showed my sister a 6 figure check going into her checking account. God knows how much she has in there. My sister explained FDIC but didn't want to get into her finances."

 

If the  bank where her checking account is located is a member of FDIC, then her checking account is insured. Coverage for each account is only $25,000, but checking accounts are covered. 

Your sister explaining FDIC as if your cousin's checking account is not covered is improper. Investment accounts are not insured by FDIC. Checking account is a better choice, though it yields no or little interest.

 

I never express any opinion about how other people, especially (suspected) wacko relatives, use their money. If they ask, I might offer my view, but making me say Huh to myself is not a reason for me to make my opinion known. for many people making money decisions their guideline is not what does it cost, but what is it worth. Worth to them. No one else can answer that. 

 

 

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 407
Registered: ‎09-09-2018

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

Sure seems to be an awful lot of people who are living rent free in OP’s head.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,783
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

If I find myself scratching my head, I figure it's my shampoo that needs changing. 

 

As far as our relatives and what they do with their own money, (operative words here are "their own"), we never give it a thought...just watch what we do with our own and are relived that they haven't called to borrow some of ours.

~The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that the Titanic had a band.~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

The o/p is convinced that her cousin is going to end up broke and penniless.

 

 

Unless the o/p is her accountant or financial planner, there is no way for her to know how every single penny is spent, or what she has saved for the future.

 

But, what does it matter?

 

The o/p has already written off this cousin of hers as a looser, and has already passed judgement on her.

 

 

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....


@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

 

 

There is nothing wrong with making your home nice but she is spending money like water on the outside of the house. However, evidently she should hire a housekeeper.  Her pets have no rules or boundaries.  If her cats are on her bed and she's tired she stays up, so she doesn't disturb them  She also doesn't vacuum much as there is animal hair everywhere. 

 

Again, if she wants a showplace outside and a mess inside it's her choice. I just don't get it. 


 


You see it as a mess.  Other people might view it differently.  And the same goes for her pets.  Clearly you would be more strict than she is.  That doesn't mean you're right and she's wrong.  All of this is just your opinion.

 

She's choosing not to have a housekeeper even though you think she should. You don't have to "get it".  It doesn't matter if it makes sense to you.  It has to make sense to her, and it does.  It seems to me that there's a lot of judging and gossip going on while this woman is simply trying to live her life.

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....


@hckynut wrote:

 

@CrazyKittyLvr2 

 

"Thread title".  Nope!  Don't try to psychoanalyze anyone but myself, and that's pert nears a full time job.

 

 

 

hckynut


Smiley LOLSmiley LOLSmiley LOLSmiley LOL

 

I am laughing out loud (literally!) because that is me too!   Smiley LOL

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,432
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....

I’ve noticed a trend with OP complaining about her family, her sister, her SIL, and now her cousin. I may have missed a few. 

 

It seems like the expectation is to have us pile on so OP feels vindicated in her taking offense or judgement  of others. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you have a relative that leaves you scratching....


@BlueFinch wrote:

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Maybe she feels fixing up the exterior will have others think she's got everything in control.  It's what neighbors and those passing through will see, not her commode.  The unknowing would just assume she's carried such effort through her interior, too. Something to admire.  She sounds like she's searching for approval from the outside, of her home and herself.  There are some psychological dynamics at play here.  I hope she finds what she needs right now.  


 

I really disagree with this.  We certainly don't know enough about this woman to know if that's the case.  We don't know her at all.  You are taking some great leaps here.

 

It actually seems more likely to me that she is living her best life, and doing what makes HER happy, without worry about impressing anyone else.  She wants a nice yard for herself.  That's not abnormal.  The inside is her "she shed", according to the OP, which sounds as though she put thought and time into making it exactly the way she wants. She has a 3-car garage, which she doesn't need, so she's converting one bay into liveable space with heat and skylights. It doesn't sound as though she's letting the inside fall into ruin, and there's no reason to think she's struggling with psychological issues.  It's entirely possible that she's not the slightest bit interested in impressing or fooling her neighbors, and that she's quite content with her home projects and her beloved pets. 

 

Keep in mind also that everything we've been told is strictly the OP's point of view.  She's even indicated several times that there are aspects she's not sure about.  So our take on this might be very different if we viewed it with our own eyes and not thru the lens of the OP and her sister, who apparently spend a lot of time picking this woman apart.