Community Chat

[Abrowneyegirl]

I have a older (66 yo) family friend that I talk to regularly and I have started to notice that she asked for strangely detailed and specific information that a) she will not remember and b) do not matter.

For example she asked about a wedding my DH and I are going to attend out of state (a couple she does not know) I was sharing some of the highlights and fun things we have planned.

She asked about the church I told her what I knew about it.

She pressed for more detailed I told her is was old Lutheran church downtown. She pressed for more specific details,  I asked if she was familiar with downtown Middletown thinking perhaps she knew the church!  She tells me "no, I have never been to the state."

So why are we have a detailed conversation about church neither one of us have ever been to!

I am noticing this more and more, she will need to oddly specific details about minute things, yet she is remembering less and less.  Just typing this I am realizing this may be a sign of a problem............

I am hoping it is just a odd quirk she has developed.

[mimilucy]

@Abrowneyegirl I think it could be a sign of a problem. I am 65 and have numbers of friends and relatives around my age. We are all forgetting many things! With regard to asking questions that don't matter, in my experience people do this when they are anxious to prolong conversation because when the conversation is over they go back to being lonely and/bored. It will be such a blessing if you can remain patient.

[VaBelle35]

Maybe she just wants you to keep talking and enjoys hearing about things.

I worked with a woman who used to ask a ton of questions.  I finally called her on it and she said she just did it because she was bored.

[phoenixbrd]

maybe she is being polite and feigning interest in the conversation or maybe she is just curious....there could be a lot of reasons.  If she is a close friend, why not ask her.  

[catwhisperer]

Dementia perhaps?

[Abrowneyegirl]

@mimilucy  You bring up some good points.

[Katcat1]

@Abrowneyegirl  Does she have a husband or any children you can talk to about it?  It seems that she needs medical attention to ascertain any problems.  I hope she is okay and it's only old age setting in but you have to be sure because if it is something more serious, immediate attention could really get hold of the problem.  

[fthunt]

Odd = No    For sister's age = perhaps yes

I have a 92 year old lady friend - I've heard the same stories zillon of times; but she thinks it's the first.  And can 'milk' a topic to death. (Yawn)  

[SXMGirl]

@Abrowneyegirl, there are many reason why she might ask about such details.  She may be lonely and enjoy her time with you, she might be delving into dementia, or, she might be on medications that cause her to forget.  Depending on how close you are, you might mention your concerns to her.  If you think that it is medical, maybe you could accompany her to her doctor and then go out to a nice lunch.  Loneliness takes many forms.

[Abrowneyegirl]

Thank you all for such wonderful points.

She is not really a lonely old lady, she is very active, works with kids, volunteers and travels around the world with her family.

She just came back from a 15 day trip to Alaska.

My husband ( I asked him about this after I posted and read some reviews)  thinks she is too busy to focus and that's why she can not remember things.

He recalls a drawn out conversation about our plumber, the whole who, what, how and why. 

A week or so later she needed a plumber calls us to get a referral- the whole conversation is repeated about the plumber. The next day I asked if she liked the plumber, she called another plumber she got out of the phone book.  ????

I think it may be just a quirk that may be getting worse as she ages (not that 66 is old) and that I am noticing more as I age.  LOL