Re: Do you find that people do not want to be "fou... - Page 4

onewhiteSparrow · ‎08-05-2011

Also if you own a iPhone you can Block anyone you want blocked. If they call your number you do not hear them ringing your iPhone. Also even if they leave a voice message it is stored away where you do not have to listen, or you can just delete it. They are really gone out of your life. On their end all they get is your normal voice message to leave a message and phone number. So they leave a message that you do not hear.

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

Your comment resonated with me. Life and relationships are complicated and very often hard to explain. I have experienced what you have experienced. I also have had the role that your former friend has demonstrated. And yes, I do categorize both situations as simply "moving on". No hard feelings, just sort of life and circumstances changing. I even had an old high school friend search and finding my adult son who was living in another city, and she explained who she was, and asked him if he was my son and was my address the same, etc. When she wrote me, she even asked if she had done something which had offended me. She had not. I simply didn't care to continue our relationship...it had expired.

And a friend of many years after a divorce stopped contacting me after a few years.

I missed her a lot, and just felt that she too just felt our relationship had run its course. Her ex husband had died, and maybe she felt we were remnants of that life.

I am a happily married person, a grandmother now, and I have fond feelings for most all the people I have been close to in my life, but I also have moved on. I hope you find some solace from this. I wish you the best.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

Many times I've read posts here that start with "an old friend/ex/BF", etc contacted me......the panic posts begin!

OMG, he's a stalker, all she wants is money, be careful! Do a criminal background check on them to make sure they're not wanted now.............it's insame the amount of paranoia people live with. All that said I can understand the reluctance to return a phone call, letter or email to someone who may have meant a lot to you at one time.

I guess my own mind doesn't travel there when thinking of someone so I was stunned so many people here feel that way.

adelle38 · ‎03-09-2010

@IamMrsG wrote:
In my lifetime I've had one friend that, no matter how much time passed between conversations (sometimes a year or more), we could pick up where we left off like it was yesterday. When my phone rang, and I heard her voice on the other end, I'd turn off the stove, TV or anything else I was doing. I'd find a comfortable chair because I knew she and I would laugh and talk for hours.

You know that saying that some friends will bail you out of jail, but the best ones will be sitting on the cell bench alongside you, saying, "Gee, that was fun!"? That was her. I lost her to lung cancer a few years ago, and do not believe I'll ever have another friend like her. I still love you, Buddy O'mine.

Other people have been more "acquaintance" type friendships. With neither rancor nor hard feelings, I've easily moved on from those relationships.

I had a friend like that who also died of cancer. We would find the strangest things to laugh about. I remember once, when we were both in our 50's and her adult daughter remarked that the two of us acted liked silly teenagers when we were together. Since she's been gone, I don't have many of those silly moments.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.

CAMOGIRL · ‎09-14-2010

I think people just move on with their lives, which ever direction that may take them.

-Texas Hill Country-

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

Friendship takes a lot of time and work like marriage and can also be one sided. Sometimes you can have a friend for life or just a few months. I think we sometimes bond over a certain thing and when that thing no longer exists we go our separate ways. I had a good friend for 20 years and we always bonded over our not so great spouses. One day it just seemed her life went in another direction and the friendship was over.

winamac1 · ‎12-29-2010

@curlywhitedog wrote:
This has long been a favorite of mine. It's long but I think it answers a lot of questions as to why people come and go into and out of our lives, some to never return.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Maria

Great post. My sister has shared this with me as well! I"m not sure I fully agree with it, but I do see some validity in it.

"friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel"

humpty dumpty · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks for all the responses and various perspectives on this subject ...

I guess I just have to not take it personally and accept the fact that life goes on and people move on ... as they should ...

~~ Good enough is good enough ~~

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

Being a true friend does take time and sometimes when life happens it takes extra effort.

Visiting a sick friend, sending a get well card, flowers, attending the funeral of their loved one. All when we have other things that need our attention.

Many people now just prefer FB. Far easier "friends". If they're a hassle, then you delete them.