Do you enjoy being teased? - Page 7

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

I don't think it's abuse but it wasn't the norm in my family.

When I was a kid, I was yelled at if I disobeyed or did something wrong. I was never teased as a recreational activity either by siblings or parents. I wouldn't have dealt well with it. Actually none of my siblings would have, either. We were all used to being treated with respect and gave it therefore to others until they proved themselves not worthy.

brewhaha · ‎07-25-2010

By the Chippendales dancers.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

On 7/10/2014 reese2 said:
There's a difference between teasing and tormenting, and some people can't distinguish between the two.

Teasing can be affectionate, flirtatious or fun. When someone is uncomfortable over what's being said, or showing signs of being upset, that's not teasing, it's tormenting. I consider that abusive.

I think you expressed that beautifully, reese2.

In addition, I try to notice if someone calls a halt to teasing, expresses the fact that it's hurtful to them. Just because it doesn't bother me doesn't mean it shouldn't bother another person. I feel that way about those who are offended by words, deeds, etc. It's my belief that I should respect the fact that they feel offended or hurt, even if I don't experience the same feelings.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

scotttie · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/10/2014 dooBdoo said:
On 7/10/2014 reese2 said:
There's a difference between teasing and tormenting, and some people can't distinguish between the two.

Teasing can be affectionate, flirtatious or fun. When someone is uncomfortable over what's being said, or showing signs of being upset, that's not teasing, it's tormenting. I consider that abusive.

I think you expressed that beautifully, reese2.

In addition, I try to notice if someone calls a halt to teasing, expresses the fact that it's hurtful to them. Just because it doesn't bother me doesn't mean it shouldn't bother another person. I feel that way about those who are offended by words, deeds, etc. It's my belief that I should respect the fact that they feel offended or hurt, even if I don't experience the same feelings.

That's right. Some people (we have one in our family) who just doesn't "get" teasing. This person doesn't get the nuances and so we don't tease this person because it isn't fun for them. The rest of my family love it. We dish it out and we take it and we laugh and laugh.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

Scottie! ${#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}$

I think it's all a matter of give and take... and listening, and caring about what we hear when we listen. I suppose that applies to just about everything else in life, too.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

sylviahomeatlast · ‎03-11-2010

I don't even know to describe how teasing makes me feel-----I HATE it---whether it's tickling or verbal teasing---honestly, it makes me cry---or have a nervous break-down---extreme reaction but that's what it does to me ----as if I'm out of control.

ShortyLugNut · ‎07-10-2014

On 7/10/2014 ILikeShade said:
On 7/10/2014 nycrhythm0617 said:
On 7/9/2014 occasional rain said:
I find teasing to be thinly disguised abuse. It's all in fun for the teaser but not so much fun for the victim. My parents would not allow teasing, hitting, or name calling. My mother said it was poor manners and low class.

Even parents tease their children and think it's amusing but would they like to be teased? Maybe. That's why I'm asking.

I don't mind being teased about my height. I'm only 4'6. Of course I used to hate it as a kid but now I just laugh about it. Yesterday I was at a casino and the dealer said to me so what do you do for a living crawl into spaces for other people? I actually thought it was pretty funny. ${#emotions_dlg.biggrin}$ What I DONT like is this: I was walking out of the bank one day and a woman was walking in and she said to me you're short and I looked right at her and said you're tall. Then one night at work(I was working in a hospital back then) I was walking towards the elevator and there were family members behind me. One said wow shes a midget. I didn't care that I had my badge on I looked right at them and said I'm not a midget I'm just short. Then it happened again. I was at work and a family member said to me wow you're short. I said thanks for telling me something I didn't know. I cant stand stuff like that.

Edit: Now my sister in law and brother are a totally different story. Both are major PITA's. I went to their house wearing black sneakers with different colored laces and they(especially my SIL) wouldn't stop teasing me about them ALL night. Then one afternoon I had tea with my lunch because I didn't get to have it in the morning and she said my lunch was old lady like and then shes eating my cherries that I bought and I told her they were $1.99 a pound and again she said I was like an old lady. I mean come on really?

((((nycrhythm0617))))..... I think you are enduring horrific abuse. Regarding your relatives...I think you need to find a way to put them in their place so they stop. I guess they look like rock stars....pfft! Good luck to you!!

Ah I just give it right back to them.

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/11/2014 nycrhythm0617 said:
Ah I just give it right back to them.

While I understand (somewhat) how you feel, giving it back only perpetuates their inappropriate remarks. Be the better person and simply tell them their words hurt and ask them to please stop. If there is a young child involved, hearing her parents tease you, there is a good chance the child will eventually do the same. Children mimic behaviors they see.

barrel racer · ‎03-13-2010

I was teased for being so skinny, my nickname was "slats". It hurt back then, but luckily I am still thin & I'm sure lots of the teasers are not.

ShortyLugNut · ‎07-10-2014

On 7/11/2014 lulu2 said:
On 7/11/2014 nycrhythm0617 said:
Ah I just give it right back to them.

While I understand (somewhat) how you feel, giving it back only perpetuates their inappropriate remarks. Be the better person and simply tell them their words hurt and ask them to please stop. If there is a young child involved, hearing her parents tease you, there is a good chance the child will eventually do the same. Children mimic behaviors they see.

My cousin lives downstairs from them and he is just as bad. I told him the other night you tease me about my shirts..my sneakers..the fact that I love Barry Manilow stop teasing me enough is enough. His girlfriend told him to leave me alone. They haven't teased me since. I am going over there today to see my niece. I'll let you know if they tease me about anything.