Community Chat

[Janet89]

@nun ya, I may not require a curfew when he's 21.  I expect him to be moved out by then.  I will say, the main reason for our curfew is that the evening activity around here is drinking.  Of course, kids can drink prior to their curfew being up, but, it seems the ideas as the night progresses get worse.  Like leaving town at midnight to drive to someones apartment an hour away.     

[Janet89]

@Spurt, we have experience with young employees, as well!  While some of them have been very good, there have been MANY that can't put down their phones and have done everything you mentioned plus some.  We have worked to teach our son to have a good work ethic.

[nun ya]

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@Janet89 wrote:

@nun ya, I may not require a curfew when he's 21.  I expect him to be moved out by then.  I will say, the main reason for our curfew is that the evening activity around here is drinking.  Of course, kids can drink prior to their curfew being up, but, it seems the ideas as the night progresses get worse.  Like leaving town at midnight to drive to someones apartment an hour away.     

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Yes. I can see where that would be concerning.

[Spurt]

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@Janet89 wrote:

@Spurt, we have experience with young employees, as well!  While some of them have been very good, there have been MANY that can't put down their phones and have done everything you mentioned plus some.  We have worked to teach our son to have a good work ethic.

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@Janet89 

Kudos for teaching your son a good work ethic....

Things got so bad at our office with people on their phones at their desks, or in the hallways, or on their Facebook or Twitter pages that we had a big meeting where everyone was warned if they are on their phones or their personal social media when they are supposed to be working they can be IMMEDIATELY FIRED (our state is an "At Will State" so an employer doesnt even have to give a reason to fire someone, so our company is  well within the law)....And even with working at home the Managers can track our every moment too....

[Wsmom]

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@software wrote:

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@Wsmom wrote:

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@stevieb wrote:

RIght or wrong, and I sincerely doubt this is a wake-up call for anybody, but by the times teens reach 18 or 19, and many of them far younger, experimentation, at the very least, with alcohol, drugs and intimacy is not the exception... And once again, this isn't new to the current younger generation by a long shot...

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Truth...or older generation.  I had a very dear friend who ended up pg in high school so as a result put the thumb on her daughter and let her have zero life.  Her two brothers could do anything they wanted, but not the daughter, period.  Her mom didn't want her to end up in hs and pg.  I should add her mom married the dad, married to this day with three fabulous kids.  But the daughter ended up leaving home, couch hopping, and had two kids and never been married.  You can be too strict and she was.

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I have to respectfully disagree with your post that the girl got pregnant because her parents were too strict.

Many girls have strict parents & don't get pregnant.  I'm one of them and I'm far from alone.   I am an only child, I was outnumbered.   My parents were brutal when it came to discipline.    I not only didn't get pregnant, I graduated high school a virgin.  This was in 1971, the age of Aquarius, free love, drugs & rock & roll.

How did she get pregnant if she had "zero life"?   

Sometimes a child not allowed a life will get bored and make a life for themselves.

I don't post this to argue, just to give another POV

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She got pregnant by running away and couch surfing and hooking up with the bad boy her parents forbade her from seeing.  In this case I do think had her mom allowed her the life they allowed her brothers things would have turned out differently.  

[Alison Wonderland]

You can never base "normal" on one person.

Even back when I was in high school back in the 1980s, I had some friends with curfews and some without. 

And today I know people from both groups who became successful adults and others who wound up in and out of prison or dead. One of the wildest guys I knew back then wound up as CIO of NASDAQ for some time. Another didn't make it to 26.

[FiddleDeeDee]

I have 2 in college (home now and doing classes online). One did dorm, the other did not. The one that commutes from home to college also works 20 hours a week. Once they turn 18, they are legal adults. Until that time, yes, they have curfews and rules. Once they turn 18, the only thing that changed is we would LIKE them to tell us where they are going in the event something happens and we have to trace their steps. No parent ever wants to do that but....you never know.

Respect is the one thing that doesn't being or end at a specific age. Be it parents, roommates, spouse...it doesn't matter. Knowing where you are, when you're leaving/will be home and having a contact number is simply the smart thing to do.