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Contributor
Posts: 27
Registered: ‎04-21-2010

Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

I am a parent of a late-teen boy.  He is taking college courses, but lives at home.  He still has a curfew.  Many of his friends have either never had a curfew or, now that they're out of HS, don't have one.  He is very good about keeping curfew, and, actually now that he's out of HS, doesn't complain about it much.  If there is something special going on, we make arrangements ahead of time that he will be later than usual or he stays with friends.

 

He started seeing a HS girl last fall.  I felt she was a little young, and, was somewhat concerned that he had met her at a college party.  The (not serious) relationship ended after he had an accident that resulted in a broken leg.  She was present when the accident happened.  She pretty much dumped him a week after he got out of the hospital.  

 

She was at another college party about a month ago that he attended.  He basically said he was thankful she had moved on and showed me her "outfit" of a bra with see-through fishnet top that had been on Snapchat.  She had tried to talk to him, but, he said she was so drunk she wasn't making sense.  Btw, this girl just turned 17.

 

Is this the new normal?  Am I really lame thinking that teens should not stay out all night?  Of course, with the virus stiuation, these rules or lack of *should be changing for a while.  However, I really have not seen much change in the behavior of the teens or early 20s group in our community . . . . 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,565
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

HS, yes...College, no.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

There have always been teens without structure.  She appears to one of them.  Social media hasn't helped with certain shows or facebook influiencers telling them to be there own person and no one can dictate what they should or could do.  

 

What may have been a few years ago seems to have grown.  Hopefully, they will outgrow it, live thru it, and make a great life...based on their current actions.  

 

Rebels will always show themselve, just as the "grounded" kids.  Have faith. 

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 43,240
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

WOW!  There are still "all kinds" aren't there?  After having taught so many teenagers, sometimes it's hard to remember that there are dysfunctional families, and unfortunately, there will always be.  The stories can have a wide variety of reasons why the home isn't functional, and it's such a shame.

 

If that young lady is out there like that, it doen't speak well of her, sadly.

 

Our boys certainly had a curfew.  When parents make a curfew, they need to share the responsibility of enforcing it-together.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,278
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

I'd be thankful she's no longer in his life.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,305
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

What is a college party?

Is it at a frat house, or a private home?

 

Having a drunk 17 year old around will get you put in jail.

 

Your son is finding out he probably needs a new set of friends.

 

The girl needs more than a curfew.

 

@Janet89 

Contributor
Posts: 27
Registered: ‎04-21-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

The parties were at a college guy's house near a campus over an hour drive from here.  He has been known to have them about every weekend for years.  I *think he is now a Senior.

The girl seemed to be from a good family.  Due to their short relationship, I only  met her Mother, who is an elementary teacher.  Definitely did not seem to be the type for "no rules", but, her daughter may have her completely fooled! 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,510
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

HS? YES

 

COLLEGE BREAKS? YES

 

MOVED BACK HOME AS A BOOMERANG KID? YES

 

LAID OFF DUE TO COVID 19 AND TEMP COUCH SURFING? NO

only because he's in bed before I am ! 😉

 

I do run my house like Marine Corps boot camp. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,846
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@Janet89 wrote:

The parties were at a college guy's house near a campus over an hour drive from here.  He has been known to have them about every weekend for years.  I *think he is now a Senior.

The girl seemed to be from a good family.  Due to their short relationship, I only  met her Mother, who is an elementary teacher.  Definitely did not seem to be the type for "no rules", but, her daughter may have her completely fooled! 


Is your son of drinking age? I would be more concerned if my own child was attending college drinking parties.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

If your child is in high school, yes, they should have a curfew.

 

 

Once they are over the age of 18, and are a legal adult, no, they don't need a curfew.

 

 

 

They should let you know where they're going, and when they'll be back, but that's just a courtesy.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.