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07-16-2017 08:23 PM
I never gave it much though until lately. It suddenly dawned on me how different I am from 2 of my really good friends. One, I have been friends with for a little over 50 years.
I think I started thinking about it because sometimes people here have criticized my long posts. I am overly sensititve about them. I've tried to post smaller posts but it never seems to work.
Then I started thinking about my two best friends. One I eat with at least 4 times a week. We mainly eat together (at restaurants, so it lasts about 2 hours). I talk to her a little otherwise, but not a lot. She usually drives so we are in the car together.
The main difference between myself and both women is that they are introverts and don't like talking to other people much. Can you tell....I'm just the opposite?
I love talking to strangers and meeting new people. These two also don't like 'small' talk. My friend and I that I eat with, we talk about everything but only at that time.
My older friend, (I only talk to her a few times a month) and even then it's not for very long. I've been trying to get my oldest friend to go on a cruise with me. She'd be fine and would go off with a book while I'd be introducing myself to everyone. The other friend would want me to stay close to her.
Anyway, does anyone else here have good friends who are (personality wise) the direct opposite of your personality?
Any ideas on why you think the friendship just works?
07-16-2017 08:30 PM
Yes! ALL of my good friends and I were opposites. In retrospect, I chose them as friends because they had qualities that I admired, which I lacked.
One friend could sew really well and wore beautiful clothes. (I can't sew)
Another friend used to have a lot of parties because she loved to cook & entertain. (I didn't)
Several days ago, my best friend from the 2nd grade emailed me about a group that was meeting for an elementary school reunion.
I didn't go because .... we're opposites.
07-16-2017 08:30 PM
@Annabellethecat66 One can surmise that your two friends are good listeners and you're a good talker. Thus these people are perfectly compatible with you and matches made in heaven.
07-16-2017 08:34 PM
I'm an introvert, my very best friend is a chatty southern lady, who will talk to anyone. She needs alone time, and sometimes would rather read than socialize. Somehow we just click. My other good friend is more comfortable with people than I am, in fact we are very different people. However, where it counts, we get along famously, I trust her with my secrets, and we laugh over everything . I don't think you can analyze friendship, some people are just your people. And that's great.😸
07-16-2017 08:35 PM - edited 07-16-2017 08:40 PM
Yes, I have very good friends whom I have known for 40-50 years and we can talk on the phone for over an hour at a time. One of my friends is very different from me BUT we have a long history together and can talk about "the old days" and the present, also.
I tend to listen more than talk and most of my friends are talkers and we are well suited.
07-16-2017 08:35 PM
@Kachina624 wrote:@Annabellethecat66 One can surmise that your two friends are good listeners and you're a good talker. Thus these people are perfectly compatible with you and matches made in heaven.
Or they can't get a word in. I'm just teasing @Annabellethecat66 so nobody go off and report me as being unkind. Your posts are just fine.
Yes, I have friends who had opposite views but maybe not necessarily opposite personalities. Althoug I believe our views can, at times, determine our behavior.
I've not been the most talkative in RL if I'm not informed enough about a topic. But a lively discussion about common themes can be another issue.
07-16-2017 08:39 PM - edited 07-16-2017 08:54 PM
Introvert and extravert basically refer to how you get your energy, are you drained or energised by interacting with other people. There is also introverted feeling and extraverted feeling, and introverted thinking and extraverted thinking.
Extraverted thinking people tend to talk out their decisions. Whereas introverted thinking people think about it in their head more to make decisions.
You can be an introvert with extraverted thinking. It's not all introvert and all extravert.
As far as your general question can people who are opposites be good friends, of course. In fact one of things that makes opposites attractive is that they have something you don't have. You balance each other out. You bring out the things in each other that you lack as a dominant way of being.
By the way, my best friend is very much live in the moment and reality based and I'm very future oriented and always looking at possibilities and live in my head a lot. We have this sort of fascination with each others way of being. He brings me down to reality and I give him a safe place to share his feelings and be accepted for who he is. We both love debating topics for fun and neither of us takes things personally though. We're both introverts but I'm extraverted feeling and he's introverted thinking. And no I'm not referring to my husband, I have a guy best friend.
07-16-2017 08:40 PM
@Annabellethecat66 This may sound strange to you, but at this time in my life I have no girl friends. I had many friends growing up as a child, and into adulthood, the last ten years I just decided that the friends I had were just too much work....expected too much out of me, so I pretty much ended the friendships over time. I do not miss them at all. Is this odd? I do not know.
07-16-2017 08:44 PM
No, I am a birds of the feather type person and have never associated with people who do not think the way I do and like the same things. Too tedious.
07-16-2017 08:45 PM
@Annabellethecat66 I enjoy your posts. ❤️ Please don't try to change. 😊
I guess the best friends I've had as an adult are like me in that they have a strong work ethic and common interests. Personality wise, I'm more introverted.
You know that saying, "opposites attract." In many ways that's true when it comes to my successful relationships (including my marriage). I have core values in common with each, but they tend to be social butterflies while I'm a wallflower. Overall, it balances out.
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