Community Chat

[blackhole99]

I don't know if any of you posting are the faithful, but I get through the holidays thinking that the holiday is supposed to be about Christ's birth and not gift giving and partying. We put so much pressure on ourselves trying to make a great and memorable "Christmas" for others and that's really not what it's all about. I think those of us who have lost husbands, children, parents and siblings are going to be sad regardless of what holiday it is because we always feel that loss. 

[on the bay]

@Jordan2 -

Well I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year and always has been because it was always with all my family so I have wonderful memories.

But I can be sad many times of the year for young relatives and friends who have died and my granddogs.

For dreams broken and things not turning out at all like I expected.

And I do start to feel like those I love not here- they are with me always.

But then I am so grateful that my children and grandchildren despite all odds, are here with us.

And yes many miracles past and present that still happen many times.

But I do know that the grief of losing a child, a loved one, a husband, sister, mother, all our loved ones, never goes away and we think of them always always in our hearts.

[Sapphiregal]

I always dread the holidays and just want them to be over. I lost  a son 20 years ago and that makes it hard. Also, I hate the commercilization of Christmas. It is the birth of our savior and that should be the focus - not all the parties and hectic shopping.

[lovescats]

not all the time but yes     I get tired of all of the holiday romance songs and movies  among other things

[SandySparkles]

I feel so bad for those of you unable to experience the joy of the season, because of anguish, grief or loss. I can't imagine what you're going through, but am sending a prayer of solace to you. May your loving and cherished memories of them, bring comfort to you. 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[on the bay]

I hope too, that especially those who have a lost a child, or a husband of many years will feel even a glimpse of renewing  peace and comfort even if for just a few brief shining moments this year all year long and that you will feel your precious loved one with you in your heart always.

[Patriot3]

My dear posters........I read all of your posts and feel for all of you.

Yes, I feel sad at this time of year.  You're not alone.  As one said, there's so much pressure to feel happy.  I used to be able to have my family for dinners and now age has caught up w/me and I simply can't do it anymore.  This makes me sad because I loved doing it.  The kids have taken over for holidays now.  I do 99% of shopping online because I physically can't go out and shop.  I didn't even decorate this year.

There always seems to be squabbles.....small ones that don't amount to anything, but they bother me.  I am too much of a perfectionist and want everything to be perfect.  There is no such thing.

I do think about the real reason, tho.  The birth of baby Jesus.  I take lots of stuff to our local Heartbeat just so I can feel I am giving a present to baby Jesus.  That makes me feel better for a while.

We have severaI birthdays, too, including mine.  I make sure I am sleeping when the New Year comes in.  I get very nostalgic and miss the way it used to be..........

[stevieb]

While change and loss are not the exclusive domain of those 'of a certain age', those who have lived a bit longer are more likely to have had a variety of different holiday experiences they are no longer experiencing and so yes, I think that makes many of us sad. For a number of years, I can say I personally railed against the changes and I think that only enhanced the sense of sadness. Like others, I've felt the sense of loss of people, losses related to changes in people, changes in my own capacities and loss of experiences that were so valued in the past. Speaking for myself, I've more or less reached a point of acceptance and so while there are still occasional bouts of sadness associated with the whole 'remember when' conundrum, I've more or less moved to a place where the holidays are simply no longer a big deal... They aren't a negative but neither are they particularly 'festive'. I occasionally still look back with longing for what was, but really, what's the point because the reality is there's no going back...

[happycat]

Yes, I am sad because I miss several different family members who have passed. And its not the same without them. 

Also right now, we have several in the family who are ill. Along with our elderly parents, and I try to help mine with different things on a regular basis. 

We have several school age nieces and nephews. I am not in the mood to shop for them. I love them all and, they have every toy and gadget they could want. I am giving them each money and being done with it, and that is stressing me out, because I know certain adults will say I took the easy way out. Maybe I feel like I am taking the easy way out. 

This is giving me stress. Why I worry about it, I do not know. A gift is a gift. It is not a requirement. 

[skatting44]

  I listen to  all the Christmas music and  remember alot of  past holidays  with family who have passed . I cherish those memories .  I  am happy to have the memories and  still to be alive to share them with my family. Like time,  keep moving forward. Being  involved in  community service in helping others  can be very rewarding  by  bringing joy to others  ,