Community Chat

[Oostende]

Customs are different in different cultures.  As a Native American, I can tell you it is not uncommon for many American Indians to see direct eye contact as a spectacular rudeness.  It's a prying form of aggression, like inspecting the person too closely, looking for flaws or weakness.  Think of a bird, eyeballing a bug before it devours it.  

A firm handshake is also seen as a sign of aggression...like you are testing your strength against the strength of the other person.  It's not terribly friendly.  

I'm familiar with the cultural cues of both societies, and I can adjust my behavior accordingly.  

I only mention the cultural differences because too often American Indians are seen as shifty or evasive when they are merely displaying the good manners of their culture.

[151949]

Being a nurse I have no difficulty talking to anyone. I am so accustomed to talking to strangers. Actually sometimes having to discuss very personal things with them. So I just talk to everybody.People who are from Pittsburgh tend to be very open and friendly too, it is just the culture around that area.Pittsburgers are well known for being friendly.

[proudlyfromNJ]

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@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

Where else would you look at someone you are speaking to, but their eyes?

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For some reason I look at people's mouths when they are talking. Don't know why,, read lips maybe?? I force myself now to look at their eyes instead.

[Snicks1]

I do make eye contact with anyone I am speaking with, I don't stare, but I want them to know that I am paying attention to them and whatever we are speaking of is, at that moment in time, important to me.

[Allegheny]

No not at all.  In fact, I actually have to sometimes curb making eye contact in certain situations, ie., pan handlers, vendors at mall kiosks.

Others may not agree with me, but I feel not making eye contact in most everyday situations is rude, standoffish behavior.  I don't mean one has to intently look at the person they are interacting with, but at least look up once in a while.  

[Bri21]

OMGosh, I do not make eye contact with those kiosk people.  They will hound you...

[LilacTree]

If I'm interacting with someone I have no problem with eye contact.  However if I am not, I'm not one to look around the room to make eye contact with anyone.  Nobody looks at old people anyway.

[blackhole99]

As a child I was taught to be seen and not heard, I would never look an adult in the eye for fear of punishment. When I got older and did not have that fear of being punished, I was able to give people my undivided attention and look them in the eye.

[ALRATIBA]

Generally, no.

But ...I have alternating exotropia ... and sometimes it startles people who don't k now me.

[Pqfan]

I make eye contact very easily.

It is an automatic instinct of mine to look directly at people.

(From years of sales training)

Many times they start talking to me if I look at them.

It doesn't bother me it's just sometimes I want to be incognito.