Community Chat

[Suziepeach]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

I do, I'm a fixer by nature and I find myself giving advice even when no one has asked for it.  It's a fault and I'm trying to control it.  However, everyone does it to some extent, even if they aren't aware of it.  It's just a human thing.

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@chrystaltree I agree, it's just a human thing.  What gets me is when it's very obvious yet someone throws there two cents in... I laugh when I say this to my husband, "You don't think I knew to do that first."  He'll say, "Just trying to help ma'am." 

[betteb]

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@Dusty1 wrote:

I don't offer, but I did have a "gentleman" come up to ME in the grocery to tell me that the Diet Coke that I had in my cart was going to kill me, because it was made of the same thing that car coolant (or something) is. Then he pointed his finger at me & told me that it "obviously wasn't helping me lose weight, either".

I told him that it must have also given me Alzeheimer's, because I didn't remember asking for his opinion. Then I cried on the way home. :[

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Was he old? I had an old guy recently comment on the size of my behind as he buzzed past me in the freezer isle. He was gone too fast for me to respond, but a young male stocker who was there promtly commented "that old man is crazy, there's nothing wrong with the size of your behind"

Anyway, my thing is, why do old people think they can say anything to anyone at any time and somehow, it's ok? I certainly hope that I don't lose my manners as I age.

[betteb]

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@Silver Lining wrote:

If someone drops something or leaves a phone or whatever behind on a table, of course, I would tell them or pick it up and "run after" them.  That's not the same thing as unsolicited advice. 

One time I was grocery shopping and there was a toddler in the baby seat struggling to hold a large glass jar of mayonnaise. I was afraid she would drop it and the glass and contents would splash up on her. The mother was several feet away so I told her. She got really angry and told me off.

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Somehow, I suspect the mother reacted that way because she has been told before about not watching her child

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[culebra]

Unsolicited advice doesn't really bother me. But there was once it did - I had just finished 8 chemo treatments for Ovarian Cancer. My hair was growning back, but I still wore a stocking cap under my wig.   I went in for a massage and removed my wig.  I had invested in a beautiful human hair wig that was styled in a bob - my normal style previous to cancer.  The color matched my color totally. As I was a highly paid professional a good looking wig was necessary to make my living. I did not want the focus to be on my cancer but my presentations.  The masseuse told me I should give up my wig and just wear my hair naturally in its growning out state.  I informed her why I needed the wig.  She would not back down on her opinion.  I finished the massage, but never went back to her for another massage and she was a good masseuse.

[Jordan2]

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@hckynutjohn wrote:

@Jordan2 wrote:

I never do but I was in the supermarket yesterday. An elderly woman left her bag opened in the top part of the cart while her back was turned to it reaching for something. I couldn't help myself. I told her it was unsafe to leave her bag unattended and she should keep it on her. She told me I was right and thanked me. I just didn't want her to be taken advantage of. 

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 Do you consider suggestions to be  advice?

hckynut(john) 

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Advice is a noun a suggestion for a  beneficial course of action. So yes I do consider a suggestion to be advice.

[hckynutjohn]

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Jordan2 wrote:

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hckynutjohn wrote:

Jordan2 wrote:

I never do but I was in the supermarket yesterday. An elderly woman left her bag opened in the top part of the cart while her back was turned to it reaching for something. I couldn't help myself. I told her it was unsafe to leave her bag unattended and she should keep it on her. She told me I was right and thanked me. I just didn't want her to be taken advantage of. 

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 Do you consider suggestions to be  advice?

hckynut(john) 

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Advice is a noun a suggestion for a  beneficial course of action. So yes I do consider a suggestion to be advice.

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Not an ace when it comes to "the 8 parts of speech(at least that's how many my nuns taught me)". I will say this. For me to be giving a person a suggestion is not even close to what I would say to them as when I consider myself to be giving them advice. 

Wonder why they don't say Presidential Suggestor in lieu of Presidential Advisor? I find that rather strange, but hey! What do I know?

hckynut(john)

[fortune]

I've learned, after many years of trying to help others, that most people don't really want advice.  They do want people to hear them and know how they feel, but don't really want specific feedback to address their problems.  So now, I try to listen and will sometimes ask if they want advice, but don't offer any unless asked.  This isn't a complaint about others, but just a fact that I've learned from experience!  And, I'm probably the same when it comes to taking others' advice!!

[LilacTree]

Unless there's abuse going on, I keep my mouth shut.  However, in the face of abuse of a child or an animal, there's no way I'm not mouthing off loud and constant!! 

[faeriemoon]

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@Dusty1 wrote:

I don't offer, but I did have a "gentleman" come up to ME in the grocery to tell me that the Diet Coke that I had in my cart was going to kill me, because it was made of the same thing that car coolant (or something) is. Then he pointed his finger at me & told me that it "obviously wasn't helping me lose weight, either".

I told him that it must have also given me Alzeheimer's, because I didn't remember asking for his opinion. Then I cried on the way home. :[

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That was a good comeback though!

[ladyroxanne]

i don't remember ever doing so with the exception of my children and isn't that part of our job as parents?