Community Chat

[RainyDayGal]

Maybe there are couples still in college, working on masters and PHDs and all that, not living together, but engaged and they just want to have everything in place before they get married. Maybe the couple wants to save for the wedding/honeymoon of their dreams.

People have their reasons. It's not our business to question.

[hckynut]

~~Do You Believe In Long Engagements?~~

Never game it any thought. We were married without an engagement.

[Yuban3]

On 5/16/2014 RedConvertibleGirl said:

Maybe there are couples still in college, working on masters and PHDs and all that, not living together, but engaged and they just want to have everything in place before they get married. Maybe the couple wants to save for the wedding/honeymoon of their dreams.

People have their reasons. It's not our business to question.

Exactly. To think that there is something "wrong" with a long engagement, i.e. a "fear of commitment", other other such nonsense, is just plain hooey.

[straykatz]

IMO an engagement means you are ready to marry and you start planning the wedding, set the date, etc....depending on how much time you need to plan your wedding the engagement could be very brief...or last a year or little longer...I think after 2 years and there is no date set that something is amiss.

[BonnieBelle]

No.

[Free2be]

The couples' beliefs are all that really matter. If one of them is dragging their feet or in a rush and the other isn't, that alone could be a warning sign of a bumpy ride ahead.

If there are any concerns about timing, devotion, or maturity, there's no need to rush but sometimes rushing is a way of ignoring warning signs -- just guessing. I suppose emotional maturity is the clincher -- having it helps to weather most any storm over issues that can be, or should have been, resolved in advance.

[Yuban3]

On 5/16/2014 straykatz said:

IMO an engagement means you are ready to marry and you start planning the wedding, set the date, etc....depending on how much time you need to plan your wedding the engagement could be very brief...or last a year or little longer...I think after 2 years and there is no date set that something is amiss.

Not necessarily. What if the couple wants to finish school first, and set aside money for their dream wedding?

Should the couple be looked down upon for not getting married "in a timely manor"?

[chrystaltree]

If it works them, it works for me.

[Yuban3]

On 5/16/2014 Free2be said:

The couples' beliefs are all that really matter. If one of them is dragging their feet or in a rush and the other isn't, that alone could be a warning sign of a bumpy ride ahead.

If there are any concerns about timing, devotion, or maturity, there's no need to rush but sometimes rushing is a way of ignoring warning signs -- just guessing. I suppose emotional maturity is the clincher -- having it helps to weather most any storm over issues that can be, or should have been, resolved in advance.

[Luv2Decorate]

I wouldn't want a long engagement, but if it works for others.. good for them!

A friend dated her now husband for 20 YEARS! Ha! We still laugh about that. Then they decided to get married and they got married immediately. So funny! They are happy, so that is all that matters.