Community Chat

[Jordan2]

The youngest ones always get away with murder as the parents are worn out from the older kids!

[Kalli]

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@Spurt wrote:

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@Kalli wrote:

My parents had 7 kids in a 16 yr span.  Therefore, yes, the older ones have some different memories from the youngest ones.

We share memories, mostly laughing at each other and ourselves. We sure did some goofy stuff growing up!  Being 1 of only 2 girls, and being the quieter one, some sibs tell me I was babied. Nah! 😂😂😂😂

The younger ones had more relaxed rules, especially curfews.  Mom and Dad were in their 50s by the time my youngest brother went off to college.  

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@Kalli

Yep, the younger one got away without having to do any chores.

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@Spurt, oh yeah! 🤔😉. Rules were much stricter for me as #3 than for my youngest brother who’s #7.  I think my parents were slowing down.  They weren’t sweating the small stuff. Youngest brother even told me that when he was a HS senior,  Dad took him aside and told him if he was going to a graduation party were there would be beer, don’t drive home, stay over night and come home in the morning! Can you imagine that!?!?  

Have to say though that my youngest brother was always conscientious and driven. No way was he going to mess up his future. He’s still like that - very focused and an extremely hard worker. I guess it was a blessing that my parents’ last child was an easy one to raise.

[jubilant]

Yes, we do.  My brother is a year older than me and my sister a year and a half younger. My sister will be 68 in a few months.  I am 69 and my brother is 70.  I think because we are so close in age we remember a lot of the same things. We are close and share many memories.  We laugh a lot when we are together. I never for a moment doubted my parents love for me...even when we disagreed.  My siblings would tell you the same thing.  As we get older sometimes we remember things differently but on the whole things are pretty consistant. 

I feel badly for those that weren't shown the love a child needs.  I found out recently that this was the case for one of my grade school friends.  I was shocked and saddened to learn of it.

[reiki604]

My brothers and I saw things very differently. Now that the youngest is gone, I wonder if the middle brother and me, the oldest, were raised in the same household. We remember  the way we were treated and situations very differently and we are totally different personalities.

[VaBelle35]

My sister had her head in the tv every possible minute growing up, so I am not surprised that our entire childhood happened around her and she was oblivious ;o)

[Drythe]

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

My older sister remembers my dad (her stepfather.....her father was killed when she was very young) as being abusive (mean no hitting) to her....my mother NEVER would have stood for any type of abuse in the home and my other siblings do not recall him being that mean...stern, yes...expected to follow the house rules yes.  I don't know why she feels that way.

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@Mom2Dogs

I do not mean any harm here, but your Mom may not have known.  It sounds as if your older sister was the only child who was not biologically your Dad’s.  Perhaps he treated her differently and didn’t even realize it.

I experienced many things as a child that my Mother knew, but I was told by her I best NEVER tell my Dad.

Just a thought, not meaning any disrespect.

[SunValley]

Yes, the memories are influenced or differ in complexity by our ages, but the shared memories have bonded me to my siblings. My youngest brother shared with me recently that he suffers knowing that he might have to survive the loss of us one by one till he is alone. I cried with him! Then I teased him that I could be like my dad’s sister who outlived everyone even though she was the oldest. Then we laughed! I adore my siblings. We are always there for each other.

[SouthernBee]

@Jordan2: My only sibling died almost 5 years ago and he was 5 years older. Several times we didn’t agree on memories. My DH has 7 siblings and only two agree on memories. DH and one sister. They all but 2 had different fathers. Because of DH mothers lies, just within 4 years discovered the man he thought was his father wasn’t. His stepdad that adopted and raised him died 14 years ago and his mother died last year. Two of the sisters are habitual liars- real life soap opera. My DH is a twin and I have never met his twin brother and one sister. Two sisters and one brother live in our town. Southern Bee 

[Jordan2]

Watching This Is Us, this very topic popped up. Kate and Randall were speaking about a specific day in their childhood. Kate remembered it as a fun day, having a sequin fight. Randall remembered his father broke a plate (he threw it against a wall). Kate didn’t remember that event at all, I guess we all have selective memories.

[Financialgrl]

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@homedecor1 wrote:

And to think it was only our family😉

My older brother & I are 5 years apart -- we are very close even to this day.

Our sister is 12 years younger, and has very different "childhood" memories.  When she recalls her childhood & homelife ...we just "shake our heads".  (My brother was 18 & left for college the month after she was born and I was turning 13 going into my teenage years).  

Sadly, I don't recall much of her childhood except she was terribly spoiled.  Not that we weren't but my parents did not expect from her what they expected from us -- chores, good grades, respect, etc.

And I think it's very easy to "block out or create" a better life in ones mind.   I love her to death but her memories are more a "fantasy" than a "reality"! 

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@homedecor1  Situation was very similar - am the oldest of four (2 girls, 2 boys).  When I was in HS, they had another child - a brother, and my mother died of cancer before he was in first grade. 

The older three of us had two wonderful parents and when mom first got sick, dad pulled the family together and the 3 older kids had a lot of responsibility (cooking, cleaning, etc) bc he still worked and had to concentrate on getting her through her treatment.  

Youngest brother was always raised as an only child so his childhood was completely different than ours.  After mom died, dad retired early and did EVERYTHING with my brother.  Though the same father, our brother was raised by a man much different than the one we had.  As posted above, the older ones have already worn them down" and dad was a much more lenient fun parent to my brother than the one we had.