Community Chat

[SydneyH]

Reminds me of those stupid FaceBook memes, lol.

[MyShadowLove]

No, there is nothing about this that makes any sense to me whatsoever...It sounds rather irrational and I'm concerned about the person who thought this one up...lol

[pattypeep]

It didn't make sense to me, either. Glad that most of you validated that I wasn't "slow" this evening. LOL

[KLm]

I think it's an example of the culture that tries to convince women that self sacrifice is their duty in a relationship, an attempt to reinforce the mistaken belief that this is how we will be loved.  All I've known this nonsense to accomplish is to wear a woman out. 

[ladyroxanne]

i think i have a headache.  i'll read this again later.

[noodleann]

I have to wonder whether whoever wrote this thought sticking a crown on it would improve the reception.

I personally think that much of what goes wrong with relationships comes down to people looking at them transactionally, which is baldly stated here as being about "things" in the first meme. That's just plain sad.

The whole notion of falling in love with purpose suggested in the second meme doesn't wash, but you really lost me with the notion of selflessness out the door. People get together because they fill each other's needs, which often translates into happiness on their terms. If there isn't mutual pleasure in the relationship at a certain level at the stars and moonbeams stage, I don't see how it's got much of a future.

But I do love your sig line. 

[cotton4me]

No, don’t agree with this.  Especially this line, “Never fall in love to make yourself happy.”  What’s the point of falling in love if it doesn’t make us happy?  Of course, both people should be happy and care about the happiness of the other.  

[jubilant]

NO!

[Nataliesgramma]

No...sounds like an opinion of a person that wants to control their spouse..

[Tantrum]

I disagree wholeheartedly! Who wrote this? A starry-eyed 8th grade girl? Relationships aren't about giving or getting, although certainly a healthy balance of both exists for all parties in a successful one. In unhealthy relationships, one party gives too much at their own expense, which leads to resentment and hard feelings. For the better part of history, women were often the ones doing the disproportionate share of the giving and making all the sacrifices while their own needs went unfulfilled. As for falling in love, it is a consequence of being happy, rather than the other way around. I have never once said, "Hey, I want to make this other person happy, so I think I'll go ahead and love them." Love has blossomed out of a sense of appreciation for that person and their reciprocal appreciation of me. This post sure makes it sounds like it's supposed to somehow be noble to ignore your own happiness, needs, goals, etc. for the benefit of the other party, although I'd personally rather be in a balanced, healthy relationship than a pathologic, noble one. Seriously?! Thought we were ALL allowed to consider ourselves worthy, deserving individuals these days!