Community Chat

[151949]

I have a good work friend who is a guy. He was married - widowed now and I am married. I've known him since before I was married but he was already married when we met. We would have coffee together, sit at work and chat, he would occasionally bring me a cookie from this great bakery near his house, little stuff like that. HOWEVER, we never went out together just the 2 of us. Sometimes we would all go out after work for a drink and we would both be there with everyone else, but never the 2 of us alone, because I think that would be crossing the fine line with male/female married people friendship.

[ladyroxanne]

over the years i have had male buds, but since moving to where i am now, they are long distance and thats how our friendship stands.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Oh, this is such a sticky wicket!

You say that your husband has met him, your male friend, but have you met your friend's wife?

If not, why not?

You said that when your friend came back from a trip, you were happy to see him.

I think that while everything may be on the up and up now, it would be oh so very easy for this friendship, to become more than that.

I think that you are playing with fire.

You and your husband have a spat, you popr your heart out to your friend. He's there to comfort you.

It starts innocently enough with a hug.

Then the next thing you know.......

Just be careful.

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@Plaid Pants2

While I don't dispute that it can happen, I think many women have male buddies they aren't physically attracted to.   Without that type of attraction, it will always be just a friendship.   

[sallybusky]

In college I had several. We'd all go dancing, and I never sat down! Good times.....

[ballyk]

Yes, we became friends due to our mutual music interest 30 years ago when he was 17 and I was 37. I am friends with his parents, he went to school with my children and knows my husband.

We've traveled all around the country going to concerts and car rallies sharing a hotel room. He's one of my best friends and absolutely not romantic interest or involvement. He's single and my husband of 40+ years has no problem with our friendship and they like each other.

[deepwaterdotter]

Two of my 'best friends' are male, and a couple.

[Lila Belle]

Of course!

[kittymoxy]

I'm thinking you wouldn't be asking this if you weren't "interested" in this man.

[blackhole99]

I would love to have a male friend, but my husband would never allow it. LOL

[dex]

I have a male buddy too.We don't see each other much now that we live do far apart but we do try to stay in contact.I met him at work when I was a newlywed and he was always so nice to talk with.my husband liked him too and ever after he became part of most things we did.My DH used to call him to stay with me when he was out of town so I wouldn't be afraid.

I got to know his family and often was invited to dinner.My husband travelled a lot for work and I really appreciated not being alone.I feel like I could trust my male friend more than any other friend to have my back and my DH and I will always have his.My DH helped him get a great job and he has always been there to help us too.