Community Chat

[cerb]

My husband is the one who eats exceptionally fast, while I eat moderately slow.  Thankfully I can be honest with him.  When we go out to eat, I remind him to eat a little more slowly so that I'm not left out there hanging.  And yes, it can be an uncomfortable feeling to have somebody staring at you while you eat.  My mother, on the other hand, eats quite slowly and loves to talk.  A lunch with her can take a long, long time because she talks more than she eats.  If people are able to, they should strive for a happy medium.

[151949]

Well, it seems that the faster eater is assumed to be in the wrong here. Not necessarily so. If someone is picking at their food - as someone else said 5 grains of rice per forkful - they are the party who are wrong. Or if someone never shuts up long enough to take a bite - it isn't the other person's fault they are done first. Why do you all seem to assume that the faster eater is rude or somehow in the wrong ?

[lulu2]

My father grew up in a house with 7 children as well as an unmarried aunts and 2 unmarried uncles.  He ate fast because if he didn't, he didn't get much to eat.  When we were kids and we went to get ice cream, my father was finished eating his cone before he got back to the car. 5 boys were born within 5 years (there were twins) and they shared a wardrobe. My father was always an early riser to get the pick of the wardrobe.

I worked as a server and we were told it was perfectly acceptable to clear the dishes of people who were (clearly) finished with their selection.

[Moonchilde]

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@lulu2 wrote:

My father grew up in a house with 7 children as well as an unmarried aunts and 2 unmarried uncles.  He ate fast because if he didn't, he didn't get much to eat.  When we were kids and we went to get ice cream, my father was finished eating his cone before he got back to the car. 5 boys were born within 5 years (there were twins) and they shared a wardrobe. My father was always an early riser to get the pick of the wardrobe.

I worked as a server and we were told it was perfectly acceptable to clear the dishes of people who were (clearly) finished with their selection.

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I have never had an issue with a server removing my plate if I am finished. I consider it a courtesy to provide me with more room to relax and enjoy coffee, dessert or conversation.

[PeterDM]

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@lulu2 wrote:

My father grew up in a house with 7 children as well as an unmarried aunts and 2 unmarried uncles.  He ate fast because if he didn't, he didn't get much to eat.  When we were kids and we went to get ice cream, my father was finished eating his cone before he got back to the car. 5 boys were born within 5 years (there were twins) and they shared a wardrobe. My father was always an early riser to get the pick of the wardrobe.

I worked as a server and we were told it was perfectly acceptable to clear the dishes of people who were (clearly) finished with their selection.

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You were taught incorrectly.  It is improper for a server to remove any plates until all guests have finished their meals, and their are numerous articles concerning this etiquette all over the Internet.

[Noel7]

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@PeterDM wrote:

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You were taught incorrectly.  It is improper for a server to remove any plates until all guests have finished their meals, and their are numerous articles concerning this etiquette all over the Internet.

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@PeterDM

Peter is right, it is incorrect and there are articles that go into proper table service.

SF/Berkeley are known for fine restaurants, and a waitperson would be taken to task for removing one person's plate before everyone at the table was finished.  Doing so would be a signal that others should hurry and/or vacate the table.

[Noel7]

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@151949 wrote:

Well, it seems that the faster eater is assumed to be in the wrong here. Not necessarily so. If someone is picking at their food - as someone else said 5 grains of rice per forkful - they are the party who are wrong. Or if someone never shuts up long enough to take a bite - it isn't the other person's fault they are done first. Why do you all seem to assume that the faster eater is rude or somehow in the wrong ?

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I haven't seen numerous people assume the faster eater is in the wrong, let alone ALL as you said, but I have seen a couple like you who make fun of those who aren't eating fast.

What I don't get at all are people who are ranking these things and sitting back calculating how others eat.  Who in their right mind would want to be at a dinner party with anyone like that?

Thankfully I have friends who are fun and lively and who have something to say, to share, who are in it for good times rather than pettiness and judging others.

[Noel7]

Removing plates too soon is the sign of poor service

Plates should remain on the table until everyone is finished. When a busser starts to clear my plate, I’ll often stop the person and say,  “Thank you, but I’ll wait until everyone’s finished.” I would like to think that I’m making the most of a teachable moment, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

The problem is that at many places the staff isn’t very well trained. I think in many cases the people removing the plates think they’re on top of things because they’ve never been taught otherwise.

Some chef owners aren’t always the best at hiring people to handle the front of the house, and since service is rarely seen as a career, the staff isn’t always invested in becoming truly professional.

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2012/10/09/removing-plates-to-soon-is-the-sign-of-poor-service/

[debic]

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@Noel7 wrote:

Removing plates too soon is the sign of poor service

Plates should remain on the table until everyone is finished. When a busser starts to clear my plate, I’ll often stop the person and say,  “Thank you, but I’ll wait until everyone’s finished.” I would like to think that I’m making the most of a teachable moment, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

The problem is that at many places the staff isn’t very well trained. I think in many cases the people removing the plates think they’re on top of things because they’ve never been taught otherwise.

Some chef owners aren’t always the best at hiring people to handle the front of the house, and since service is rarely seen as a career, the staff isn’t always invested in becoming truly professional.

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2012/10/09/removing-plates-to-soon-is-the-sign-of-poor-service/

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I disagree.  I love my plates removed if I'm done.  Usually they ask and I say "yes, please, thank you" Removing clutter is a good thing and someone voicing an opinion otherwise doesn't make them right.

I've never been in one where they leave them on the table until everyone is done, especially nice restaurants.   Even when I waited tables a million years ago that was protocol.

Keep the table clean.  I would also think the waiter wasn't paying much attention to us if the dishes remained on the table until everyone was done.    

[PeterDM]

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@debic wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

Removing plates too soon is the sign of poor service

Plates should remain on the table until everyone is finished. When a busser starts to clear my plate, I’ll often stop the person and say,  “Thank you, but I’ll wait until everyone’s finished.” I would like to think that I’m making the most of a teachable moment, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

The problem is that at many places the staff isn’t very well trained. I think in many cases the people removing the plates think they’re on top of things because they’ve never been taught otherwise.

Some chef owners aren’t always the best at hiring people to handle the front of the house, and since service is rarely seen as a career, the staff isn’t always invested in becoming truly professional.

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2012/10/09/removing-plates-to-soon-is-the-sign-of-poor-service/

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I disagree.  I love my plates removed if I'm done.  Usually they ask and I say "yes, please, thank you" Removing clutter is a good thing and someone voicing an opinion otherwise doesn't make them right.

I've never been in one where they leave them on the table until everyone is done, especially nice restaurants.   Even when I waited tables a million years ago that was protocol.

Keep the table clean.  I would also think the waiter wasn't paying much attention to us if the dishes remained on the table until everyone was done.    

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One may enjoy chewing with their mouth open or eating pasta with their fingers, but that doesn't make it appropriate or within proper lines of etiquette.  You were taught wrong as a server, and the restaurants that you've been eating where the servers have been clearing the plates before everyone is finished eating are wrong, too.