Community Chat

[Black Cat Back]

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this when dining out with someone.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a nice lady I recently met.  We've been trying for weeks to get together.  She's had to cancel three times due to some work being done in her apt unit.   We decided to meet and catch up.

When the food came we both were talking, sharing stories and the like.   She ate her food so fast.   I was so enjoying my lunch but had no intention of wolfing it down.   She wasn't in a hurry to leave, but she ate so fast.  When she was done, the waitress took her plate and there I am eating alone while she watched which becomes a bit awkward.  You feel like you have to eat fast then.

I don't get to go out to restaurants a lot, so this was a treat for me.   You can't really tell someone to slow down, but I mean she must have finished her lunch in 5 min!   It was so awkward eating by myself.   Part of the pleasure of dining out with someone is to enjoy talking and eating and relaxing.  

I remember years ago, a friend of mine who used to be a banquet hostess at a big hotel, said a waitress should never clear someone's plate if others at the table are still eating.  She said the waiter or waitress should wait until the other party is almost done so it's not uncomfortable as it was with me.

Oh well, I enjoyed my lunch and cleared my plate without wolfing it down.   The irony is we sat and talked about 30 min after I was done!   I guess everyone is in a hurry these days. My stomach thanked me for not rushing my meal!  LOL!

I enjoy eating alone at times in a restaurant... that way I can take my time and enjoy the meal.

Just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced that.   

[HappyDaze]

I guess I never really noticed how fast or slow someone eats and I don't worry about me still eating after they are done.

What bothers me the most when eating out with someone is if they keep looking at their phone and typing things. I figure if you want to spend time with me, then spend time with me and not your darn phone. I will cut a lunch short if that happens and think twice about eating out with that person again. I have very little patience for that, lol.

[scotnovel]

I studied to be an RN at a hospital based program right out of high school.  We often had only 30  minutes for lunch which meant getting from classrooms or areas in the hospital to the cafeteria and back in that 30 minute timeframe.  Because of that we all learned to eat fast because once we got through the cafeteria line we usually had about 10-15 minutes to eat.  It was a necessity and we didn't consider it wolfing down or rude in any way but it did become a habit.  I got out of that habit and also changed professions.  Different people have different habits for various reasons so why make it an issue.  If you like her and think she might become a good friend, then who cares.  The fact that you feel conspicuous because you are eating and she isn't is your issue not hers.  Personally I have never looked around a restaurant and made any judgment about anyone I've seen in a similar situation. 

[sallybusky]

I get 20 minutes (or less) to eat my lunch M-F, so unfortunately it's turned me into a bit of a p-i-g. When I'm out in public, I have to remind myself to slow down. So, to answer your question, it would bug me. It's unlikely your friend was aware of her speed-eating. Now I am going to have to work on not bugging MY dinner companions. I'm glad you two had a nice chat nonetheless!

[Tique]

@Black Cat Back this has happened to me before. I have always been a slow eater compared to most. I have heard the same thing about clearing the dishes in a restaurant when two or more are dining together. Good for you that you didn't allow either the waitress or your dining companion to make you hurry. Maybe the next time you two have lunch, she will follow your example to slow down and savor both your company and her meal. It sounds like you enjoyed your time with your new friend which is the most important thing.

[Black Cat Back]

I don't tolerate rude phone behavior either.   Most of the people I go out with aren't like that.

I only notice how fast someone is eating when they are done in 5 min and I still have most of my food on the plate!    When you are sitting there for another 15 min still eating while they sit and watch you... to me, it's uncomfortable and ruins the whole fun of eating with another human being.

[Azcowgirl]

Yes, I know exactly what you mean ! I am always the last one eating it seems, and I feel like the rest of the people at the table are just waiting for me to finish. I often order a dinner salad and I wonder if it takes a little longer to eat ?

I don't like to wolf down my food either, and it's not healthy to do that any way.

[Black Cat Back]

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@scotnovel wrote:

I studied to be an RN at a hospital based program right out of high school.  We often had only 30  minutes for lunch which meant getting from classrooms or areas in the hospital to the cafeteria and back in that 30 minute timeframe.  Because of that we all learned to eat fast because once we got through the cafeteria line we usually had about 10-15 minutes to eat.  It was a necessity and we didn't consider it wolfing down or rude in any way but it did become a habit.  I got out of that habit and also changed professions.  Different people have different habits for various reasons so why make it an issue.  If you like her and think she might become a good friend, then who cares.  The fact that you feel conspicuous because you are eating and she isn't is your issue not hers.  Personally I have never looked around a restaurant and made any judgment about anyone I've seen in a similar situation. 

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I wasn't judging her... I was JUST making an observation about it.   I didn't feel "conspicuous."   I just enjoy eating together.   In fact, I probably enjoyed my meal more than she did... savoring every bite.  I have never looked around a restaurant either for that reason... just at the person I'm with.  I didn't write this post to criticize.... just to make an observation about such an EXPERIENCE.

[momtochloe]

I had a friend that would eat her lunch incredibly fast (we would always eat in a group of 6-8 people).  Finally someone asked her why and she explained she came from a very big, poor family and if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat at all.

[Q4u]

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@Hot Street wrote:

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this when dining out with someone.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a nice lady I recently met.  We've been trying for weeks to get together.  She's had to cancel three times due to some work being done in her apt unit.   We decided to meet and catch up.

When the food came we both were talking, sharing stories and the like.   She ate her food so fast.   I was so enjoying my lunch but had no intention of wolfing it down.   She wasn't in a hurry to leave, but she ate so fast.  When she was done, the waitress took her plate and there I am eating alone while she watched which becomes a bit awkward.  You feel like you have to eat fast then.

I don't get to go out to restaurants a lot, so this was a treat for me.   You can't really tell someone to slow down, but I mean she must have finished her lunch in 5 min!   It was so awkward eating by myself.   Part of the pleasure of dining out with someone is to enjoy talking and eating and relaxing.  

I remember years ago, a friend of mine who used to be a banquet hostess at a big hotel, said a waitress should never clear someone's plate if others at the table are still eating.  She said the waiter or waitress should wait until the other party is almost done so it's not uncomfortable as it was with me.

Oh well, I enjoyed my lunch and cleared my plate without wolfing it down.   The irony is we sat and talked about 30 min after I was done!   I guess everyone is in a hurry these days. My stomach thanked me for not rushing my meal!  LOL!

I enjoy eating alone at times in a restaurant... that way I can take my time and enjoy the meal.

Just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced that.   

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Yes, I've experienced it and yes, it bothers me.  

But the person I'm talking about was raised in a family of 5 kids and there was never enough food for all the kids to have seconds.  I can understand developing the habit of eating fast so as to be able to get more if they're really hungry.  

Add to whatever habits were developed while growing up, the habit of gobbling your lunch while working because you only have a half an hour to eat and you tend to work while eating has also developed scores of people who just can't slow down.....

I believe it's more or less an epidemic of sorts out there.....