Community Chat

[ChynnaBlue]

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@Hot Street wrote:

<snip>When the food came we both were talking, sharing stories and the like.   She ate her food so fast.   I was so enjoying my lunch but had no intention of wolfing it down.   She wasn't in a hurry to leave, but she ate so fast.  When she was done, the waitress took her plate and there I am eating alone while she watched which becomes a bit awkward.  You feel like you have to eat fast then.

I don't get to go out to restaurants a lot, so this was a treat for me.   You can't really tell someone to slow down, but I mean she must have finished her lunch in 5 min!   It was so awkward eating by myself.   Part of the pleasure of dining out with someone is to enjoy talking and eating and relaxing.  

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I don't. I've been the first person and the last person to finish and neither makes a difference to me. Just because she finished quickly doesn't mean she's in a hurry to leave. If she gave that signal, it would be different, but if she finished first and stayed to talk, what does it matter? It wasn't a race and I'm sure she wasn't gloating because she finished first, so why should you either feel bad about talking longer OR be mad about her finishing so quickly? No big deal unless you make it one.

Everyone treats food differently and if you want to take your time and she wants to rush, that doesn't matter makes no difference. You shouldn't let it ruin a nice time out.

[Havarti]

I have this situation with family at the holidays – every holiday meal. My sister always hosts the holiday meals now that all the children are grown. She is an excellent cook (and I am one of those people who says “I don’t cook” and just puts together basic easy meals). I always do the dishes when the meal is done. Well, my sister’s family downs a holiday dinner in under a minute. DH & I have barely picked up the fork and their plates are clean. They all get up and leave the table and there we sit….it is very awkward and uncomfortable. I was telling a friend about this and she suggested we eat before we go and only put a small amount of food on our plates. This is what we do now and it gets us done much more quickly and less awkwardly. Of course, like the OP said, it spoils some of the fun of the gathering. But, we do what we need to do to get through these small odd hurdles in life. If this is the worst problem we have to worry about life is good.  It always makes for a good laugh on the ride home in the car.

[Black Cat Back]

Folks... I wasn't upset with my friend!   It was an observation about such matters.   I'm not going to stop going to lunch with her.   

I came from a family of a Holocaust survivor.   She never ate fast because she said she savored every morsel, every bite... it was shear pleasure for her after being starved.  She was in a train car and had an apple thrown at her for her only meal on that journey and she said she ate that apple as if it were a 10 course meal.    So, I guess it all depends on your perspective.   

I was more upset with the waitress for clearing the plate.  

[sfnative]

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@scotnovel wrote:

I studied to be an RN at a hospital based program right out of high school.  We often had only 30  minutes for lunch which meant getting from classrooms or areas in the hospital to the cafeteria and back in that 30 minute timeframe.  Because of that we all learned to eat fast because once we got through the cafeteria line we usually had about 10-15 minutes to eat.  It was a necessity and we didn't consider it wolfing down or rude in any way but it did become a habit.  I got out of that habit and also changed professions.  Different people have different habits for various reasons so why make it an issue.  If you like her and think she might become a good friend, then who cares.  The fact that you feel conspicuous because you are eating and she isn't is your issue not hers.  Personally I have never looked around a restaurant and made any judgment about anyone I've seen in a similar situation. 

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@scotnovel

The same thing happened to me.  Horrible!  I absolutely hate cramming food down my throat so that I can get back up to the floor.  Fortunately, quite a few years before I retired I became involved in training Staff and Residents in various surgical specialties nd trauma.  No more gobbling, plus the caf was directly above my office and training facilities.

[JustJazzmom]

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@Havarti wrote:

I have this situation with family at the holidays – every holiday meal. My sister always hosts the holiday meals now that all the children are grown. She is an excellent cook (and I am one of those people who says “I don’t cook” and just puts together basic easy meals). I always do the dishes when the meal is done. Well, my sister’s family downs a holiday dinner in under a minute. DH & I have barely picked up the fork and their plates are clean. They all get up and leave the table and there we sit….it is very awkward and uncomfortable. I was telling a friend about this and she suggested we eat before we go and only put a small amount of food on our plates. This is what we do now and it gets us done much more quickly and less awkwardly. Of course, like the OP said, it spoils some of the fun of the gathering. But, we do what we need to do to get through these small odd hurdles in life. If this is the worst problem we have to worry about life is good.  It always makes for a good laugh on the ride home in the car.

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This reminds me of a non related relative who when we eat together starts eating before the hostess or host is sitting down and many times is taking seconds before anyone has had firsts yet! And yes, it does make for a good laugh on the car ride home.

[missy1]

Maybe the lady was just really hungry!

[Noel7]

1. We used to go out with a group of about eight or ten, and one couple would always order not only the entree, but drinks, appetizers and desserts when no one else wanted all of that.  Then they would insist we just split the bill. 

Others finally caught on and said no, but then the couple continued doing it and ALWAYS put money in the cumulative pot that never covered what they ate.  Finally people called them out on it.

That kind of cheap stuff is the only thing I can think of that bothers me.

EDIT: Sorry about that number one, I don't know why it popped up and I can't get rid of it.

[jaxs mom]

I don't understand worrying about how fast another person eats or feeling like we have to eat at the same pace. People are different. As long as she wasn't actively rushing you I'd let it go. 

[winamac1]

I don't care if someone finsihes before me.  I eat moderately fast as I, too, came from a big family.  If someone is faster or slower than I am....no worries on my end.  I just enjoy my conversations.  Much ado about nothing imo.

What REALLY bothers me is people "spitting" as they are eating and talking.  I have one male friend who does this, and I adore him.  BUT...I'm noticing spitting at times, and it is disgusting!  I don't want his saliva on me!  Ugggh

[Mominohio]

I am very aware of this, and I have a friend that I eat out with a few times a year, that is a painfully slow eater. When I dine with her, I try to slow down and pace it more to her speed, without letting my food get stone cold.

It really is rude to be excessively fast or always too slow compared to the other people at the table. 

I, too, believe that a meal out, unless one is on a set time schedule, should be savored, enjoyed, and  lots of good conversation shared.

And I will not dine out with people I know are going to be married to their phones. Once I know that is how somone is, I just refuse the invitations politiely. And if we have guests that can't let the phone go to visit, they don't get invited back either. I spend too much time and money to either go out, or to entertain, and unless you have something really critical going on in your life that truly needs monitoring, I don't want to spend time with you, while you spend time with your phone.