Did you have or Do you have now adult children living at home and Why?

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

I have two adult daughters. My oldest is 26 and she lived at home during college breaks and hunkered down with us when the world shut down in March 2020. She got sent home from her graduate program at Cambridge in England and finished her program virtually from our home. She found a job shortly after finishing her program in October 2020 and moved to Washington DC that December where she has been living ever since. Youngest is 21 and is no way ready to live on her own. She has ADHD and anxiety. She barely gradated from High School. College was not the right option for her so she worked a few jobs trying to raise money for tuition for esthetician school. She had difficulty keeping a job but was able to raise about half the tuition so we paid for the rest. It took a little longer than the average student to finish the program and to schedule the two part licensing testing with special accommodations. Unfortunately she did not pass her practical exam and has to take it again. She needs to get a steady job and learn how to adult before DH and I feel comfortable with her being able to successfully live on her own. Being only 21, more brain development needs to happen before she is ready to be a full functioning adult.

4kitties · ‎03-09-2010

We do not. My three daughters were all married and on their own before the whole virus shut down happened. I think that in itself has made things very different now.

They were all done with their college and graduate programs and employed in jobs that were either essential, or could work from home. Same with my sons in law.

“I heard the sound I had to follow”
In Your Wildest Dreams by Justin Hayward

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

@ninjawife I am glad to see you recognize that your daughter needs a little extra support. Some people send their kids out prematurely and unprepared. They may never recover from that. It sounds to me like you have a tight knit family.
Family support is everything! ❤️

She will be just fine. My parents allowed us to stay for as long as we needed support. All 4 of us turned out to be productive adults with kind hearts and our children the same!

Natureluvr · ‎06-14-2018

@ninjawife
Our son remained at home until age 26. He is out on his own now and doing well. Does your daughter see a therapist or take any medication for her adhd and anxiety?

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

All three of my children lived at home while adults for a time. My oldest moved in and out a few times until she got married due to room mate problems and employment issues.

My oldest son lived at home when he got out of the service with his pregnant wife...also military. They lived with us until my granddaughter was around two. They bought a house and moved out.

Then, they moved back in while their new house was being built years later for about a year with their two children.

My youngest son ( single) lived at home until he was 38. He moved out when he brought a home in a upscale neighborhood and is doing well. He lived at home to save money.

All of my adult children are doing very well financially and live good lives. I see no issues letting adult children live at home while they get an education, a good job or are saving for a down payment for a home.

My parents allowed and wanted all of their five children to live at home as adults if we wanted to. They were upset when we moved out.

In many Italian families, it is normal and expected for single adult children to live at home until they get married.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

My son lived home until he was 28. He wasn't ready to leave prior to that & that was fine with DH & myself. We are a close family & helped my son get to the point of complete independence.As a result he has since flourished.

My son rented a condo with his fiancé & they were married several months later. It's been three years since he moved out & my son & his wife now own a beautiful home.

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

@Natureluvr wrote:
@ninjawife
Our son remained at home until age 26. He is out on his own now and doing well. Does your daughter see a therapist or take any medication for her adhd and anxiety?

Yes my daughter has been receiving therapy and taking medication since middle elementary school. Now that she is an adult, she has had trouble finding a steady provider. The provider she saw though high school changed practices and that practice did not take our insurance. I got her into to seeing my provider but she was often a no show for appointments so the practice dropped her. I have been helping to locate a new provider and she finally made an appointment with one on Friday for mid-July. Meanwhile her primary has agreed to refill her perscriptions.

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

@Carmie wrote:

In many Italian families, it is normal and expected for single adult children to live at home until they get married.

My mother was Italian. Her greatest fear in me moving away for college is that I would not move back home after I finished. She went out of her way to find a job opporuntity that would bring me home. I took that job and lived at home after graduate school for two years while saving money to buy my own home. Shortly after buying that house, I got engaged. It was crowded living with my parents even though I am an only child. My mother's younger sister and her baby were also living with my parents at the time.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

Enabling is not helping. Adult children should be out on their own working, caring for themselves, and managing their finances. There can always be circumstances that require living at home longer but it should only be a small percentage of children needing to do that.

bmorechick · ‎03-11-2010

We do...our 28 yo son went back for masters degree so he moved back home to be able to pay tuition and that is ok with us. He will be done this fall and will probably move along. My 33 yo son is also still with us but only when he's home. He stays part time in another state about 6 months out of the year with a temporary spot or with friends. Works for him and we don't mind. My husband and I are still working at 67 so we all have stuff in common. It's like a college dorm at my house with friends in/out and it keeps us young between them and our grandkids. Our daughter is married with her own home.