Community Chat

[zitawins]

@ninjawife   Please learn to add paragraphs to your posts. Your content was interesting, but I just can't get through all that tightly packed copy.

This applies to others, too.

[Natureluvr]

@ninjawife
I believe it’s perfectly acceptable to have your daughter living at home until you’re confident that she can live independently. The fact that she’s living with ADHD and anxiety complicates matters so it may take her longer to acquire the skills needed to be on her own. Hopefully the new therapist is helpful.

[Lucky Charm]

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@zitawins wrote:

@ninjawife   Please learn to add paragraphs to your posts. Your content was interesting, but I just can't get through all that tightly packed copy.

This applies to others, too.

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When I post from my phone, I can't make paragraphs.  

It doesn't stop me from posting from my phone.

[lgfan]

Sorry I posted.on the wrong thread. It should have been the Duggar thread. I cannot delete it.

[Trinity11]

Please don't compare your situation to other families. You instinctively know what is best for your daughter. It sounds like you are doing everything right.

Both my kids left home on full college scholarships but even summers they worked and never came home to live. After college they both eventually went to law school on free rides. Highly successful in their careers, I rarely if ever see them. They have their own lives and time is precious. Between their trips all over the world and business travel mom and dad are fit into schedules with little time to see us.

So for all those parents with kids that set the world on fire, there is a downside not often spoken of. Most won't share that aspect ....🥺 

@ninjawife , your daughter sounds like she is really trying and I congratulate you on that! You clearly have her back. She will succeed!

[queendiva]

@ninjawife : both adult children are college grads and are now 29 & 32, as are their spouses.

The youngest is a military officer, so lived at home for 2 months between graduation and duty. Now married and homeowners.

Oldest lived at home from September following graduation for just over 2 years. His now-wife and he lived in their respective family homes to save $ toward the purchase of a house together. She moved in with us for a few months as she got a job in our state.

Bought the house at age 25, now married and have a lovely home with a ton of equity at a price long gone in 2023.

Very tough for adult kids today, but still possible to be living independently.

[Lucky Charm]

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@lgfan wrote:
Sorry I posted.on the wrong thread. It should have been the Duggar thread. I cannot delete it.

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Sure you can!  I deleted my post that alerted you.  Go to the 3 dots and hit delete.  @lgfan 

[KathyM23]

I lived at home until I married at 25.  Of course I was working but it was nice to come home to family life.  Never had any desire to live in an apartment on my own.  My best friend also lived at her family home.

Our son moved back home with me and DH when he was 24 to save money for a year to buy a house when he and his fiance married

[lgfan]

Lucky Charm the three dots don't appear on my cell phone.

[Lucky Charm]

I wish someone dealing with the same issues as your daughter would respond to your thread.  

I don't know what I would do differently in that case.  I ruled with an iron fist--even after my kids were *adults* and living at home.  There were rules, obligations, commitments, chores, curfews, yes, curfews.

I didn't tolerate them being late for class, work, calling out *sick* or missing important appointments.  And I'm not one to harp, that's being too meek....lol.

I don't know if there are groups that meet (even online?) that discuss situations and solutions--that would be great.

Again, your situation is a little different with your youngest and I wish someone here could give you some encouragement or guidance that would help.  

There was a poster years ago who spoke of challenges with her daughter, but I can't remember her nic and haven't seen her in ages, any way.  

One thing I would suggest is, if your daughter has trouble keeping a job, maybe her volunteering, just so she has some sort of structure to her day/week would be something to think about getting her involved in.  

I truly wish you the best, you are a caring mother and both your daughters are lucky to have you and your husband.