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Valued Contributor
Posts: 694
Registered: ‎09-09-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother


@tobes wrote:

Please check with the hospice unit in your community to enroll in  grief counseling sessions. My friend went to counseling after her husband passed away and there was a noticeable change in her outlook.   I am sure you will have no regrets and know that you have done everything you can for your children and your dear mother


Our hospice's bereavement department follows patient's families for a year (or longer) with support groups, & services honoring the deceased. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,354
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

You need someone to counsel with. This is a tough time for you and speaking with a grief counselor or licensed psychologist can only help. @Firestripes God Bless...

Super Contributor
Posts: 415
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

 

Sorry for everyone's losses. I'm having a really rough time.  

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

@Firestripes, I am so sorry for what you are going through. This is one of the most painful life events a person goes through. You are doing the best you can. Please know it will not be like this forever. I think you got wonderful advice on this thread and especially from @Cakers3.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,300
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

[ Edited ]

We buried my Dad on July 3rd.  I was relieved for him when the suffering was over. It tore my heart apart watching him die...so I know it's so very heart breaking.  It is now just a little over 2 weeks and I am realizing that he is not here nor will he be.  While I am missing his bodily presence and while I still cry for our loss, I am aware that he is in a better place now. I could tell by his prayers these last few months that God was making him ready.  He prayed the most beautiful prayers I have ever heard.....most of them were for us.  I know a day is coming when we will see each other again. I look forward to that day.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

Re: Depression from loss of mother

[ Edited ]

I'm so sorry you are going through this, Firestripes. It sounds like your mom is ready to transition and as someone else said, the best gift you can give her now is to talk to her, tell her how much you love her and, most importantly, tell her you will be fine. I believe she is waiting for your permission and to hear that you will be okay. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

Re: Depression from loss of mother

@Forbidden Fruit, thank you. Your beautiful post was very helpful to me. Heart

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,010
Registered: ‎08-29-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

Dear @Firestripes,

 

I join the others in condolences for your pain.  What I am about to say is going to be hard to ‘hear,’ but is offered in sincerity.  The intention here is to plant a seed for another attitude–when you are ready to consider it.

 

A certain amount of grief is both natural and necessary; however, wading in it is not the way to honor your mother.  Truthfully, would she want that for or from you?

 

Losing a loved one is supposed to hurt; however, the pain is ours, not theirs.  It comes from our loss, not theirs.  We hurt for ourselves.  The pain you’re feeling, and will feel for a while, is symbolic of the kind of mother you had.  She must have been a blessing to you.  But, I remind you, even after death, that blessing is yours forever.  It will never fade.

 

Someday, you will be able to celebrate the mother she has been to you. Be grateful for what she gave you of herself.  You still have it.  Then, resolve to pass it on. That will honor your mother.

 

God bless you, Firestripes.  You're in a hard place right now, but I promise, the sun will shine and you will hear the birds sing again.  And, who knows? One of them might be sent to you from Mom.   Heart          ---Mrs. G.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,197
Registered: ‎06-20-2015

Re: Depression from loss of mother

@jubilant.... out of many of the lovely messages that were posted to @Firestripes- your post kind of stood out to me the most..My sympathy to you and your family in the death of your Beloved Father. I haven't really posted because I, too, just lost my father last week on the 12th. We just buried him this Monday.. I am at a slightly difference place and a bit more raw then you sound right now. But your post was lovely and helpful for me to read. I am hoping I can get to "your mental place" soon. Again, my Condolences and prayers to you..🙏
Super Contributor
Posts: 415
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Depression from loss of mother

 

I think part of me having a hard time is guilt. I know I was a good daughter 

my mind goes back to times when i would feel quilt because she was all alone on weekends. I did see my mom everyday except the weekend. I spend the weekends with my family. I still talked to her many times a day but I know she was lonely and would tell me. FOR MANY YEARS SHE WOULD GIVE ME THE GUILT TRIP

 

Another thing i feel guilt is im angry at myself for putting her in the nursing home after a couple hospital stays because the last nursing home she got worse. I was trying to help her get physical therapy. That nursing home didn't take good care of her and she went downhill.

 

My husband feels GUILT because he said to call 911 to get my mom to the hospital BECAUSE SHE WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN. and 24 

hours later she came home and didn't talk, eat or drink anymore. We all feel guilt

because at home she was talking, eating and drinking. We thought the hospital would be a good choice to get her out of the intense pain. Yes she was out of pain but her brain 

went more downhill. 

 

My mom is still living, she's like in a coma. My son who turns 9 on Saturday doesn't understand that why she's not talking to him. My daughter Is 19 she still cannot understand why my mom is like that after a day in the hospital. Your mind goes I should 

of not called 911 and if I didn't she would still be with us today. I needed a higher strength pain pill that no one would prescribe for her.

 

when my mom was in the hospital he said she has approx 3-9 months left. 

I didn't give much thought because you never know when it's your turn. I was looking forward to spending the remaining time with my mom with less pain. 

 

 

Thank you everyone for your help. It does help to read everyone's thoughts.