Community Chat

[qualitygal]

The other day, I heard a story about a grandmother who couldn't touch her grandchild until the grandmother had all her shots. Mom's watching out for kids. I think Dear A was correct, except that, mom's try and protect their children. (Most in this instance). It may be nothing more than that. At a C. shop, maybe this mom isn't sure where this came from. JMHO

[BabyYoda]

Rude in both instances- the sister for giving them back and not understanding that perhaps her sister could not afford to spend a lot on her baby. The second was her so called friend that told her sister where she bought the clothes in the first place. I say dump the friend! 

[NYC Susan]

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@qualitygal wrote:

The other day, I heard a story about a grandmother who couldn't touch her grandchild until the grandmother had all her shots. Mom's watching out for kids. I think Dear A was correct, except that, mom's try and protect their children. (Most in this instance). It may be nothing more than that. At a C. shop, maybe this mom isn't sure where this came from. JMHO

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That's fine if she wants to protect her children.  The issue IMO is that she rudely returned them.  

No one is obligated to use any gift that they are given.  The correct thing to do is say thank you, and then use it, don't use it, whatever.  What this woman did was mean and extremely insensitive.  A kind gesture should never be thrown back in someone's face like that.  IMO there's no excuse for it.

[HonnyBrown]

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@VanSleepy wrote:

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@HonnyBrown wrote:

Van, that's interesting!  If an item is new and unused, but at a thrift (or in this case, a consignment) store, what would be the problem with giving it as a gift?

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I don't know...even though it is new, it seems like trying to "pass it off" as new.  I could change my mind if I ever came across something really good lol

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Thanks for the explanation, Van; that's very fair.

There is such a wide variety of women on this forum, I'm always interested in hearing other opinions.  And Dear Abby has some doozies!

[HonnyBrown]

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@TaxyLady wrote:

Dear Gift Giver.  By leaving the tags on these clothes you are giving the impression or trying to fool your sister into believing you purchased them at a store and you paid full price.  Isn't that what you wanted her to believe?  Next time, be upfront about it. 

Abby

I would not want to wear used clothes either.  I am sure these sisters know each other very well and there are other reason for the return.   Taxy Lady

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Taxy, when you buy new clothes from a department store, they will have the designer label attached to it showing the style, model and color.  The price may or may not be on the designer label.  I think that is the label the sister was referring to.

From the letter, the items did not appear to be used.  I've given new, never worn items to charity.  They were just sitting in my closet and I never wore them. 

[Justice4all]

I've known a gazillion people who would buy from a consignment shop.  Actually that's an exaggeration, but I did work with someone who caught such a bad case of scabies that, on being misdiagnosed, led to a lifetime disability!  

[Justice4all]

In fact, I am always concerned about receiving a return from QVC!  

[HonnyBrown]

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@Laura14 wrote:

Maybe I am old school but it's never about the gift or where it came from.  The 'gift' is always that someone thought enough about you to take their precious time and hard earned money and made the effort to select something to give to you that they thought you would like, enjoy, use, etc...  

In my opinion, it's just not about the material thing ever.  It truly is the thought that counts.  Besides, how hard is it to put the baby in the outfit that she will quickly outgrow or dirty very quickly (probably within the hour) to give someone the return gift of appreciation?  

The kid never has to wear it again and you made your sister feel good which is what this mother should be modeling for her new child and not the the labels that are on the clothes.

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Very true!  Not to mention the fact that it takes time to find a good buy, something specific, at a second hand store.  The clothes aren't always on display like they are at a department store.

[HonnyBrown]

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@NYC Susan wrote:

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@qualitygal wrote:

The other day, I heard a story about a grandmother who couldn't touch her grandchild until the grandmother had all her shots. Mom's watching out for kids. I think Dear A was correct, except that, mom's try and protect their children. (Most in this instance). It may be nothing more than that. At a C. shop, maybe this mom isn't sure where this came from. JMHO

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That's fine if she wants to protect her children.  The issue IMO is that she rudely returned them.  

No one is obligated to use any gift that they are given.  The correct thing to do is say thank you, and then use it, don't use it, whatever.  What this woman did was mean and extremely insensitive.  A kind gesture should never be thrown back in someone's face like that.  IMO there's no excuse for it.

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Very true Susan.

QG, when I buy clothes for myself or my kids from a thrift store, new or not, they go into the washer.

[Justice4all]

When I was very young, we bought things from the original Loehmann's and we never worried about catching anything.  Now one might consider ringworm, bedbugs, scabies, lice and more when buying clothes tried on by others.  And the nicest items usually have to be washed in cold water!