Re: David Cassidy

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

I wanted to add to my post that although I believe alcoholism is a true disease, I agree he needs a driver. Some responsibility needs to be taken. I totally agree with the poster who said good things may come from this sale of the home, and bankruptcy. If he makes a true, heart felt, genuine deal with himself to quit. He most likely can. it is not easy. People do it everyday, with far less resources than he has. There are people on the street who make a promise to themselves to quit, only because they are "sick and tired of being sick and tired". They have little or no family, no money but they do it.

David should have hired a driver or made a pact with a friend to drive him. Years ago a neighbor on our block was a horrible alcoholic. She had been arrested, DUI, and her license suspended. At first she continued to drink, but she went door to door asking one of the neighbors to take her to "the store". We did. We didn't like that she drank herself sick, but it kept her off the street to kill someone. At least she had the sense to ask us. A year or so after this, she went into treatment, and was in recovery until I moved 6 years after that. I am glad I drove her too when I think about it.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

redhead65 · ‎05-16-2015

Good for you shoe kitty. You very much did the right thing. Imagine her humiliation and difficulty in having to go door-to-door to ask, but thankfully she did. Only God knows the lives you saved. And by saving hers as well, she was eventually able to become free of her devil.

You did an incredible thing, and you will be greatly rewarded for it. I thank you if she never did.

esmeraldagooch · ‎03-10-2010

Super Contributor

Posts: 1,623

Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: David Cassidy

yesterday

This has been a ongoing problem for him for years. I guess he hasn't hit his personal bottom yet and chose to turn his life around. Until he chooses to do this this downward spiral will continue. People everyday choose to dump their addictions and seek help and regain their lives. This is a choice not a disease. Good luck as it's not easy... One day at a time

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my post above, sorry I can't figure out how to copy like others do.

I stand by my words.

Both my parents were and died from this problem. ( mother starving to death only drinking for 6 months)

I also am a alcoholic and chose to get help and haven't chosen to drink since quitting on April 1 2000.

Too many of us have chosen to quit and are successful. To say its a disease takes that choice away.

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

I don't think "disease" and "choice" are mutually exclusive. There are many diseases that you can "choose" to deal with appropriately or inappropriately, but it doesn't mean you can get rid of the disease itself that easily.

You can have diabetes and die from it, or you can choose to take medication and/or eat properly, lose weight, etc. and live a long life. Some people can knock it back so they're not considered diabetic, and some can't. Some can't get rid of it no matter what they choose to do.

You can have heart disease which also has a genetic component, continue to do the inappropriate things that may have helped to cause it and/or exacerbate it, and maybe die at an early age. Or you can change your diet, exercise, take meds if necessary, and hopefully stop its progression... but it doesn't mean you can get rid of the heart disease itself.

There are others I could name, and sometimes making the right choice is not easy. All my life I could eat anything and everything I wanted, never gained an ounce, my health was good, or so I thought. Then we discovered my cholesterol numbers were sky high (my dad died at an early age of a heart attack), and I was put on the appropriate diet and exercise program - I HATED that diet, but I did what I was supposed to do for 15 months and lost 20 pounds. My numbers didn't come down. Now I choose to be on meds and I still eat as appropriately as I can. However, I still have all the risk factors.

Alcoholism is a disease, there are genetic components to it that make some people's bodies react differently to it. That part is NOT their fault. It is extremely difficult to quit entirely, but even when someone does, they are NEVER CONSIDERED CURED. They will be considered a RECOVERING alcoholic for the rest of their lives, because their bodies are still wired the same way - they can't get rid of the disease by making a choice.

If anyone chooses not to believe this, fine. It is well documented.

esmeraldagooch · ‎03-10-2010

Kitty are you a recovering alcoholic? I'm curious, how many here reading this thread are and if you have been successful in stopping, was it your choice or your disease is in remission ?
AA has the 12 steps and traditions. None say it's a disease.
Since only 3 in 100 achieve long term success, telling us it's not our fault, we can't help we have this disease, is not helpful.

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

esmeraldagooch wrote:
Kitty are you a recovering alcoholic? I'm curious, how many here reading this thread are and if you have been successful in stopping, was it your choice or your disease is in remission ?
AA has the 12 steps and traditions. None say it's a disease.
Since only 3 in 100 achieve long term success, telling us it's not our fault, we can't help we have this disease, is not helpful.

No, esmeralda, I'm not. But I have seen it up close and very personal. I used to have social drinks from time to time, but I don't even do that any more due to meds. And I just want to say that I'm very sorry you've had to deal with this as you have - it can be very painful in so many ways.

AA is a wonderful organization and has had much success. But I go by the research when I say it is a disease... this is from the Mayo Clinic website (just one of many references to it as a disease):

"Alcoholism is a chronic and often progressive disease that includes problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect (physical dependence), or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking. If you have alcoholism, you can't consistently predict how much you'll drink, how long you'll drink, or what consequences will occur from your drinking."

I can tell you a story... years ago a family member who was a fine man was also an alcoholic (of course, back then it had to be hidden) and had gone to his doctor. He was crying and begging them to put him in a hospital to help him quit, but they weren't hearing him. They called another family member to come and get him, and when he arrived, the doctor said "he doesn't need a hospital, he's just a drunk!" The family member who had come to pick him up was also a very fine younger man (who didn't drink), and he said if the doctor hadn't been as old as he was, he would have "decked him" right there in the office. He knew how his relative had struggled with the drinking, and I don't know to this day how he held his temper. That relative did quit successfully several years later with the help of AA.

I've seen it with other people, too, and I've seen the struggles. Yes, people do have a choice to quit, it certainly can be done and is done every day, but some people are also stronger than others. Some just don't have the strength to do what it takes until it's almost too late, and they're either on the verge of losing everything or have lost it, or they've chosen to drive and the worst possible things happen.

Saying it is a disease is not saying that none of it is the fault of the alcoholic... they do have to take some responsibility too. They have a choice, but as I said, some people are not as strong as others, and the grip it has on some people just can't seem to be broken. It's like I said about diabetes or heart disease... a person also has a choice there how to live their life, but that doesn't mean they can get rid of the disease or that it's not really a disease.

This may explain a little why I said that when someone says, "he/she is just a drunk" makes my blood boil... and it always will.

I sincerely wish you all the best....

ETA: I've never heard the reference that alcoholism can be "in remission" ... that's new to me.

esmeraldagooch · ‎03-10-2010

Kitty the reason people don't go to the doctor? They can't help you. Some who have money go to a facility for help, but most I've met have been incarcerated and either are put in a facility or are court ordered to go to a certain number of AA meetings. You can tell who are just going though the motions and who really longs to have long term sobriety. Those numbers are few.
As for the remission, I just made it up. Any other disease that disappears is called that.
I hope your friend wakes up before they die or kill others. It's a very sad thing to watch someone out of control go through.

Mama Mia · ‎03-10-2010

@esmeraldagooch wrote:
Kitty are you a recovering alcoholic? I'm curious, how many here reading this thread are and if you have been successful in stopping, was it your choice or your disease is in remission ?
AA has the 12 steps and traditions. None say it's a disease.
Since only 3 in 100 achieve long term success, telling us it's not our fault, we can't help we have this disease, is not helpful.

You can call it whatever you want, disease or choice. I remember my Dad drinking when I was very young as my mom and he would argue. After she died of cancer at a very young age, the drinking became much worse. He was at the bars all the time. I was twelve, a lovely age to go through all of this. He married again, and started in on wine. He became very angry very easily'

Finally, he joined AA and he did quit, but he was an awful man.

On his side of the family are many alcoholics, one a girl cousin my age, who got really bad. DH and I had a drink , wine, every night and then it seemed more and more. It scared me and we quit completely. I was afraid I would become an alcoholic.

In my case, I would say I did choose to drink, but is it because an alcoholic disease runs in my family? We drank because when we went out, all our friends did and it was fun.

Before people judge anyone else, you may want to walk in their shoes as they say. Drink can mask a lot of things and seem to make it better until you get sober. I do say you can go in remission but have to work at it for the rest of your life.

mm

"Cats are like potato chips, you can never have just one".

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

esmeraldagooch wrote:
Kitty the reason people don't go to the doctor? They can't help you. Some who have money go to a facility for help, but most I've met have been incarcerated and either are put in a facility or are court ordered to go to a certain number of AA meetings. You can tell who are just going though the motions and who really longs to have long term sobriety. Those numbers are few.
I hope your friend wakes up before they die or kill others. It's a very sad thing to watch someone out of control go through.

Thanks, esmeralda. The relative's situation I was referring to happened a long time ago and he did quit successfully. Back then, there were no "facilities" of any kind and the only person anyone could turn to was their doctor... but they didn't even know that much about it then, so that was obviously no help. I have known a few others who have struggled with it even though they managed to keep jobs, have families, etc. and no one ever got into serious trouble.

I know one younger person now who had been trying to find a facility near him for both detox and outpatient aftercare, but even in the area we live where there are so many hospitals and doctors, good facilities of that type are non-existent. He did go to a detox center and has been sober now for a month and is doing well and has signed up for an outpatient treatment group. I hope he can maintain it - his family is very supportive.

esmeraldagooch · ‎03-10-2010

Mama Mia, I am glad you saw the signs and got away completlely. I can't tell you the day I went from WANTING a drink, to NEEDING a drink. Once that happens it's very hard to break away.

You would have thought since I witnessed my parent's downfall It wouldn't happen to me. But you do what you know and blood lines (adopted) had nothing to do with it.

As for DC. He still has money from the upcoming sale of his home so his personal bottom may be a way off yet. Prayers he wakes up.