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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

 

@Lila Belle

 

I have no idea when your dad died. What I do know is the world and the United States has changed immensely over the last few years. I had no father so in that way I cannot relate to you. This I do know about my late mother. She would never have asked any of her 4 children to make promises that might be decades away.

 

My personal feeling is this, and last July my wife and her brother were faced with the issue of placing her mother in a home. She was 2 weeks from being 91 years old at that time. She did not answer her phone or door when my wife and brother tried to contact her.

 

My wife had a key to her apartment which was only 5 minutes from our home, and her apartment was right across the street from the hospital, the one I call my 2nd home.

 

When my wife entered her apartment they found their mother on the floor unable to get up. She was awake but too weak to get up and they called 911, which took her across the street from the hospital. During the 3 days she wss there my wife and her brother knew she could no longer live alone.

 

They looked into and visited a couple homes to see the if they could find the best for which they could afford. Since she injured herself they were going to move her to their in-patient elderly rehab hospital right next door.

 

On the day she was going to be moved, she died early that morning in a nurses arms. She had a DNR on her hospital chart, thus the nurse did what little she could to short of violating the DNR, but she died.

 

That was the choice they made for her had she lived, but she never asked them to promise anything to her. 

 

My feeling is you should do what you feel is best for your mother and her safety. I am sorry this is a decision you, and possibly your siblings must make.

 

Best to all of you, especially you and your mother.

 

 

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

The title of your thread is very misleading. Obviously people don't read all the responses either 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,157
Registered: ‎03-04-2015

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

that is a very personal decision and it is ludicrous that you would post such a thing...smh

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home


@fourpaws56 wrote:

that is a very personal decision and it is ludicrous that you would post such a thing...smh


It's not a real life scenario.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,140
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.  I don't know if I would have bothered answering had I known the OP was just passing time.  Good grief!

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to be happy”. (By Nightbirde, singer of the song, It’s Ok)
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,151
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

The OP should have stated she saw this ad using this saying and what we thought about it. Others assumed she was asked from her Dad and so others gave their advice. Very misleading. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,287
Registered: ‎01-24-2013

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

I asked a question. Posters gave their opinions and made judgements about me and my family.
I'm sorry I asked the question.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 837
Registered: ‎03-22-2014

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home


@bri20 wrote:

@Moonchilde wrote:

@bri20 wrote:

I had a feeling this wasn't a legitimate question. 


 

 

I just feel bad for the people who answer it sincerely and believe the OP is in distress.


I agree 


 

I agree @bri20 and @Moonchilde. The OP tugs at heartstrings baiting and misleading posters into thinking it's a personal situation. Especially since it's personal and close to home for a lot of posters.

😟

 

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 837
Registered: ‎03-22-2014

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

[ Edited ]

@Lila Belle wrote:
I asked a question. Posters gave their opinions and made judgements about me and my family.
I'm sorry I asked the question.

 

You have the option of editing your OP and filling everybody in on what the thread is really about if you're really sorry.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,655
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home

But if it was an ad, either on TV or print media, it sends the wrong message -- it makes people feel guilty to think of putting their relatives into nursing homes instead of people coming to the relative's home to do home care.

 

That kind of ad is controversial and provocative and IMO wrong!

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼