Dad made us promise we wouldn't put Mom in a home - Page 2

kitty60 · ‎03-13-2010

Those "promise me" questions mean nothing to me. My father made me "promise" something that I knew I would never do because he had the means to be sure it happened while he was alive. Putting a person into an assisted living or nursing home can never be promised not knowing the future. If that is what he wants I would tell him to be sure he had the means to see it was done. My children have tried to tell me they would always take care of me and dh I have told them they have a life and if the time ever came that is where I need to be put me there. I saw my fil kept at home because they didn't believe in nursing homes. We lived out of the area and by the time we became involved the poor man had no meaningful life or dignity left. When he went into the nursing home at 94 you should have seen him perk up. He was taken care of, they shaved him, made sure he showered, had regular meals, etc... We were able to be sure he had the necessary appointments there that he needed. I am sorry we were unable to move closer sooner. If he had been mobil with less medical needs I would have happily moved him in with us but it was not possible for me to take care of his special needs.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

My ma had dementia for 10 years. I myself refused to put her in a home. I believed she would not fit into a group situation. I hired home care.

♥Surface of the Sun♥

tiredlady · ‎04-09-2010

Sometimes they get to where their health won't permit you to keep them at home. I always told my parents that we would take care of them. The older they get, it is sometimes impossible for the kids to care for them due to the aging and health of the kids.

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

I had a feeling this wasn't a legitimate question.

JustJazzmom · ‎03-09-2010

The proper care of the Mom is priority and if it comes to pass that the caregiver at home cannot do this, there should be no qualms about putting the Mom into a place where her proper care will be a priority.

Remember being a caregiver is a difficult job and weighs mentally and physically on the caregiver. That person's health is a priority too.

Dad might have made you promise but but he was probably unaware of the mental and physical toll it would take on the caregivers. Follow your gut and do what is best for Mom.

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@bri20 wrote:
I had a feeling this wasn't a legitimate question.

I just feel bad for the people who answer it sincerely and believe the OP is in distress.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

@Moonchilde wrote:
@bri20 wrote:
I had a feeling this wasn't a legitimate question.

I just feel bad for the people who answer it sincerely and believe the OP is in distress.

I agree

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

One more time. My grandparents and parents have NEVER made this request.

I saw an ad for a home health care business that uses this as part of their advertising spiel.

Jmo but this is to me an attempt to profit off of feelings of guilt.

x Hedge · ‎08-18-2016

@Lila Belle wrote:
My parents and grandparents have never demanded this of us.

I've seen a commercial that uses this as a heart-tugging ploy or motivation to use their aides to keep mom in her home.

@Lila Belle, a local senior care center uses that line in their radio commercials, which are pretty lame, by the way.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I would be honest upfront and tell people right off it was a TV commercial. I think it's dishonest to post something like this, and later say it isn't really me

I asked for help when my mother needed outside help, and appreciated everyone who took the time to tell me their personal story or give advice