Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

When friends of mine were not happy with their sixteen year old daughter's grades, they decided to get her attention with the following instructions...

At the time they were living in a two story house, just the three of them, both parents working.  The young lady was instructed to clean the entire house, top to bottom including all of the windows and baseboards.  The two adults left the house for the day leaving her alone with her tasks.  When she graduated at age eighteen, she didn't waste a minute in packing up and moving out.

My friends and I were talking about it recently and they jokingly remarked that they think it was the baseboards  and  thirty five windows that did her in.  Personally I did not find it funny.  Some may ask, "Did it work?" and if it did than there was nothing wrong with the assignment.  To me, what they had her do appeared to be more of a punishment as opposed to an inspiration.

What would you do to inspire your teenager to improve his or her grades and what is your opinion of what that sixteen year old had to do?  Personally I am not in agreement with their method and I am curious  as to how many feel the same way. 

[KitTkat]

I think it was an awful punishment, not a motivation to do better. I personally didnt have the best grades, but it wasn't because I didn't try. To punish or force an undesired task on someone doesn't do anything but create resentment. Rewarding a kid for good grades goes a lot farther than punishing for bad.

[Kachina624]

I think having a teen clean the entire house was excessively punitive bordering on child abuse.  Caring parents would have made an effort to find out why her grades were low and corrected the appropriate short comings.  I'd say the parents were lazy and looking for free maid service.

[jeanlake]

Brings back memories of raising children with varying personal drives and goals. I'm an educator, grandmother, mother, aunt, great aunt, foster parent.... My experience and observation is to ask student, in non-threatening way, why s/he isn't driven to succeed. You can't give that internal desire to anyone, but you can expose students to questions and resources available to help uncover answers to internal conflicts and roadblocks. When people are their own worst enemies -- there's little you can do to alter behaviors until they're ready to produce. And of course, always set boundaries and consequences. Such a frustrating challenge for students / parents / guardians.     

[CrazyDaisy]

What were the daughters grades, was she working to her potential?  Was this a one time event or something that happened often?  

Perhaps they were trying to teach her a lesson that this was the type of job she would get if she didn't take her education seriously.  Really not enough information to judge the situation.

[cherry]

  I had two children and I never used them to do my job.  I couldn't have done all of that in one day..There is a difference between punishment, which should also be given with and eye toward mercy and justice, and abusing someone. The poor child probably had the life  of a drudge

[x Hedge]

Are you kidding me?
What has cleaning the house to do with improving one's grades?
I see zero connection between the two. I'm sure any last shred of respect or affection that 16 year old had for her parents was extinguished during that exercise.
Watch for headlines: "Estranged teen kills parents".

-p.s. Can't help but wonder if the teen were a SON, would the parents have issued the same assignment?

[on the bay]

My first thought was if I was that teen, I would want to leave as soon as I could, and not because cleaning a house was so hard but because I wouldn't have felt love and concern from all this but yes punishment, getting even etc.

I wouldn't trust them to have my best interests at heart anymore.

So I hope they re-examine their methods.

Parents who think they are right are not always right.Or use their power as parents to make their children do something like that is just not fostering trust and love.

Plus the consequence-cleaning a whole house, how does that improve grades?!

Like someone else said, why not find out what is going on?

I don't think they used good judgement here, more like something out of the 1950's punishment parenting book.

Cleaning a house is a not a bad thing in itself, its just I don't equate having her do that as something that might improve her grades.

And cleaning a house shouldn't be a bad thing to do so thats another mis-step on this I think.

Actually, I would rather clean a house than do some of the work, papers, projects,pressure, heaped on students at high school at times.

[Nataliesgramma]

I don't see how that coud help bring up grades.

If my daughter was just being lazy...she was "grounded" until the grades got better.

I it was only one particular subject....I got her a tutor....

[qualitygal]

As a teenager, my friend across the street, had to do the house cleaning, while her parents worked.  That's how she helped out. It didn't hurt her, taught her how to clean and she grew up to have a house and she knew how to clean.  No different than cooking.  Good to learn that too.  I don't equate these two things.

I think money talks now a days to kids. Pay them for good grades, job well done.

After all, they'll have to go out and get jobs that they will get paid for.  Good grief let them get their hands dirty, vs. sitting on them.  It will hopefully teach them how to take care of themselves and earn a living to take care of themselves and not depend on someone else to rescue them.

Work keeps them busy, teaches them, and gets them moving.  They'll appreciate it someday.